Today is SD9, now 10, birthday. We used to do all the birthday parties together with BM, always at our house (because in BM's words, we had the bigger, nicer house (um yeah, we actually CLEAN our house) and conveniently one aunt is very allergic to cats and can't be in BM's house). It was always a drama production of who was doing what, who was paying for what, she always wanted to provide everyone with a ton of food, we wanted more low-key snacks, cake and ice cream, etc. But we always did it this way for the sake of the kids. Well, things in the past year have gotten so bad that we have just split off with her. Whereas before it seemed they were coparenting, now they are parallel parenting.

So BM sent an email a while ago saying SD10 wants a slumber party at her house and then come to our house where we would be joined with family and friends. Um, yeah... Hell no. I don't want that woman to set foot in my house again, and neither does DH. He has been talking to the kids about the serious PASing that has been going on lately, and so had another talk with them that they would get 2 birthday parties, one with BM and one with us, but we couldn't do them together anymore. We are not going all out, just a few friends over and some of our family. Then she can do her sleepover at her mom's house and they can celebrate with her side of the family separately. The kids all seemed fine with this, in fact SD12 was excited at the prospect of 2 parties when it is her turn.

Anyway, today I was informed about something that BM posted on Facebook a couple days ago. "Words cannot describe how sad I am that I'm being excluded from my own daughter's birthday party." To which her friends and family all commented how horrible it was that SD was having her party at our house and her dad wouldn't even invite SD's own mother. OMFG. She commented that SD was crying about it and her heart was breaking. Ugh. First of all, SD10 is a completely different child with her mother. She is whiny and cries and pouts about everything because her mom babies her and feeds into it. She is perfectly fine at our house, because she knows her dad doesn't put up with her bullshit. So yes, she probably was crying about it, especially if her mom told her how upset she was about it. But she was fine here the last few days, in fact last night I made her favorite dinner and we made treats for her to take to school, and she was perfectly happy. And second, she is not being excluded from anything! We are just doing it separate now! But of course she has to publicly paint DH and I as monsters and her as the poor helpless victim. Ugh. I freaking hate her!