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There's the door

Amazedstepmom's picture

Submitted by Amazedstepmom on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 6:53pm

I was telling my DH that my BD isn't going to want to come home when his son is here because all they do is fight and she gets in trouble. He spits in her face, and I tell her to come inside because if I got out and address the snotty brat that spit in her face then it's just going to be my fault.
And I say, I don't know how much more I can take, my daughter isn't going to want to be here
His reply...there's the door
Wow I guess I know how important I am to you, how much I matter and how much you love me when he says that so easily as if he had said want to go to dinner. No emotion at all.
Maybe I am just not meant to be married

Comments

unika32's picture

Submitted by unika32 on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 7:09pm

He did u a favor...pack ur things! U can't ensure your child thru abuse obviously from child and step parent

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Submitted by CalgonTakeMeAway on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 7:20pm

{{{Hugs}}} I'm sorry. Sad

Was he in a bad mood? Has he been mean before? People do say things they don't mean. If he did mean it, I guess that says it all. I'd be using that door he pointed on. They can be such jerks.

Totalybogus's picture

Submitted by Totalybogus on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 7:23pm

He may have just said that in the heat of the moment and in defense of his son. Have you tried to sit down and have a rational conversation with him retgarding your daughter's feelings and the abuse she is enduring from his son? I know when someone, including my husband says negative things about my kids, true or not, it hurts. If the conversation is a confrontational one, I become a lioness.

However, if you have tried to communicate with him and he still does nothing to alleviate the volatile situation your daughter is in, you owe it to her to move on. She looks to you for protection. Its sad that she needs to be protected in her own house.

twopines's picture

Submitted by twopines on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 7:25pm

Yes, when things like that are so easily said, it's usually because it's been on their mind for quite a while.

Sorry he doesn't want to help you address the situation, but would rather you leave. Sad

reluctantgma's picture

Submitted by reluctantgma on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 7:49pm

Goodness, that must hurt like hell. I'm sorry. (huggs)

I can tell by your first post that you weren't always living in such torment. Be thankful for the gift of freedom that this insensitive guy just gave you.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 7:54pm

Lots of (((HUGS))) to you.

I think the best option is to leave this guy. Your daughter's well-being is at stake here. She deserves to live in a home where she's not bullied.

Amazedstepmom's picture

Submitted by Amazedstepmom on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 8:45pm

This has recently started so please don't think this is a common thing. I just was telling him that it can't continue. My daughter did not give me the impression that she didn't want to be here but I am concerned that will happen in the future. I am hoping to talk to him tonight once the kids are in bed and find out if this is what he really wants. Every time I think our marriage has hit rock bottom the bottom falls further and I blame my SS and I know deep down that if my marriage had been stronger when the shit hit the fan that there would not be this huge hole now. It is so hard because I didn't really see the small cracks and now I wonder if its too late.
I appreciate a place to vent and am so thankful for this site. I have several friends who are stepmothers but all of them have the brady bunch going on so I can't even vent to them without them thinking I am a complete bitch.

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Submitted by CalgonTakeMeAway on Wed, 09/28/2011 - 9:10pm

I think you know this, but SS isn't the one to blame. DH is. Good luck with your talk. I hope he's open to it and you can work things out!

sunflower72's picture

Submitted by sunflower72 on Thu, 09/29/2011 - 12:02pm

I'm new to this site but I've heard the EXACT same words from my SO. I am so sorry, I know the exact feeling it causes. I agree with the others..talk to him and let him know how that made you feel..but he can't say things like that and expect you not to take them to heart and your daughter shouldn't have to feel that way in her own home. I'm sorry.