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New SM Coming Through!

mommy_in_training88's picture

Submitted by mommy_in_training88 on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:05am

Hello hello everyone!

Here is my first blog as a SM..

Is it just me or do 3 year old boys tend to make just everything difficult??

I love my SS. Least, I'm trying to.
In the beginning it was just me and the fiance ( before we became engaged of course). All we did was stay up late and drink til dawn, etc. Now, we stay in. Cook at home. Go on dates once a month. The usual parenting stuff.
What's even more interesting to me is that we don't even have him 99% of the time!! We have him maybe once or twice a week.
My main question for today is this:
How can I have my SS listen and do what he's told every time he comes over?? It seems like as soon as he leaves and goes to his BM's house for the rest of the week, he comes back to our home and tears up the place and just doesn't listen to us, especially his own BF.
Help help help!

:?

Comments

WHERESMYWART's picture

Submitted by WHERESMYWART on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 10:12am

Well, three year old boys or boys period have a tendency to tear up the house. However, he is old enough to listen when hes told what to do. You may have to redirect him a couple of times to make sure he stays on task but there is no excuse to openly defy. Before this goes any further and the behavior continues, you need to talk to DH and figure out how you two together plan to parent this child while he is in your house. Your future husband also needs to make sure he has enough backbone to stand up to your future inlaws and BM and whoever else. Once you two make a decision, then you two need to stick to it. Best of luck to you!!!

On the verge of a breakdown's picture

Submitted by On the verge of... on Wed, 09/21/2011 - 12:27pm

yes all children of another marriage can make things difficult....i have found my SS who spends 50% of the time with us tends to try to take over our house....and the disrespect...all i can say is i pray for the weeks to end...my husband also cannot balance time or affection and whenever i try to talk about it...i am cut off in each and every way...this is the hardest thing i have ever dome is be a step parent...i dont think i will do it again....

mommy_in_training88's picture

Submitted by mommy_in_training88 on Thu, 09/22/2011 - 8:40am

I was thinking the same thing a week ago! I had a chat with one of my girlfriends about how I had been feeling and all I could think about was how much I didn't want to keep trying anymore. I was so tired of watching my SS and DH walk all over me like I was nothing. I know I know I know I am NOT his mother but I will be damned if I get walked on period.

I got a litttttttle drunk with the DH the other night and we had an all out discussion about how I was feeling. Want to know what happened? He listened (which is something I'm not used to from men in the first place haha) and we agreed to start taking this seriously. DH now understands where I am coming from and is ready to support me as long as I am willing to work with him and his SS.

I understand this won't be easy for me. Life isn't easy in the first place but, I am willing to give it a try and at least say I did. I'm crossing my fingers everything goes well and will keep everyone updated!! Thanks so much for the support already from everyone so far!!!