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Dear SD10

newbiemommy's picture

Dear SD10:
I can't stand how you sit there and glare at me. I'm not intimidated by you, I'm not going to give in because you can sit there and give me a death stare for hours on end. I hate that you sit there and pee your pants because you are mad. You are not a dog. Learn how to deal with disappointment better than soiling yourself, the couch, the bed, the carpet, ect. I absolutely want to loose my mind when you talk nasty. I want to clean out your mouth because you use those nasty words. I loathe your baby talk, saying things incorrectly and whining. I especially HATE when you purposely say my daughters name incorrectly. I want to rip my hair out when you sit there and talk about your dads ex. She obviously didn't care that much for you or your father. It makes me want to throw things back at you when you dump your laundry at my feet or leave your dishes everywhere. I hate your snotty entitled attitude. I want to scream when you argue or tell me what to do. I can't stand that you hide it all from your dad so everyone thinks I'm this horrible person and reading into things. I'm going to lose it next time you do something I told you not to do when I comes to my daughter. It makes me sick how you refuse you wash your hands or face even after being told. The smell of your room makes me ill. I never want to cook for you when you make faces and throw away food I made for you. Your lying makes me so mad. Can't you open your mouth without lying once? It drives me up a wall when you act all nice to me only in front of people. I think its ridiculous that a 10 year old refuses to go anywhere without a stuffed animal. I am so embarrassed by you in public. I hate going anywhere with you. I can't handle the sh*t fit you throw if your father so much as looks at me for too long. He can't be all yours. It frustrates me so much when you stay up at night so you can sneak in to see what your dad and I are doing or talking about. Its none of your business, you aren't the center of the world. I can't stand the stupid questions and things constantly coming out of your mouth so you can be sure you are always the center of attention. I'm going to flip next time you use/take/ruin my things or my babys things.
As much as I know this is your parents fault too its frustrating as hell. I hate how you manipulate things and are so conniving. I wish I had better control over my feeling because I hate being so bitter and frustrated. I wish I could truly disengage and not care. I wish for your sake go your parents would parent you and make you act like a 10 year old. I wish you would learn to do something for yourself. Most 10 year olds don't need constant supervision and help getting dressed, cutting food, going to the bathroom. I wish you used your smarts for more than making the world turn around you. Someday you will have to learn some very hard lessons because the world doesn't work that way, only guilty parents.
Sincerely,
Newbiemommy

Comments

gtrmom's picture

Most of that is my SD10. She doesn't piss herself, but the baby talk and the whining and most of the rest is very comparable.

Is your DH the custodial parent? Does she live with you full time? SD gets on my nerve, but the little bit that I have learned and am able to actually apply is to simply tell her "speak to me like a 10 year old and we can talk" At first she would throw a fit, but DH started telling her the same. She would come to us and ask us, in a baby voice, that she wanted something. OMFG!!! I used, still do when she tries it, to get livid. One day, I just stared at her and didn't say anything. She said, again in a baby voice, "what?? don't I sound cute?" I told her the truth. Since then she has tried it a few times but I think we are making progress. Good Luck!! I hope you feel better!!

newbiemommy's picture

Yes, we have her full time. Her dad gets very upset at me for correcting her. He calls her "baby girl" and that's how he treats her and that's how he wants to keep her. He will go so far as to mimic how she says things incorrectly so as not to make her feel bad. The only thing I hope for is that she will at least want to go live with her mom at 18... Her dad will never make her grow up. I've learned I either have to deal with her to be with him, or leave them both.

rottierunner's picture

Seriously, except for peeing, it's exactly my SD 10.
Can these kids do anything for themselves?
It's enough to drive anyone crazy!
Makes me feel like a horrible human being to say that I dislike the kid!

newbiemommy's picture

The worst part about the peeing, like I said its on purpose but she won't clean up after herself so it sits in her room and just soaks in to the carpet and ferments and her room just reeks! She will literally sit there and stare me down while she pees. Like her dad will be cuddling and kissing on me and she all of the sudden has an "accident" but mission accomplished because daddy will now leave me to focus on her.

youngmama1b1g's picture

If there's so many "accidents" id suggest some diapers (those lovely overnights for children are available in 10 yr old size).

And tell her father a 10 yr old should be able to control her bladder and talk correctly. If they're really accidents then you need to consult the doctor and if he doesn't want her to feel bad about pronouncing words incorrectly- get her a speech therapist.

newbiemommy's picture

Have had several dr. visits. They have tried everything. Its intentional. When I was gone visiting my parents she magically didn't have an accident. Like one time we were at our friends house and she was playing on the computer and the little girl who lived at the house said, "ok its someone else turn now" she sat there in a chair glaring and peed on everything. Very intentional and only when she feels she's not getting undivided attention. The diapers have made it 100x worse. She loves her dad treating her like a baby and cleaning her butt. So the diapers make a sometimes issue an ever night several times a night issue. And there's still a mess to clean up because those diapers don't catch everything.
And the speech issue her dad thinks is cute. He knows she can say things correctly he just doesn't make her. So he would def not go for speech therapy.