It starts
Ok, so I am missing my peaceful Sunday morning up too early time already.
SO's phone went off. BM texting him to tell him that she would be dropping the kids off at 9pm this evening as they had "plans". He called her back, no answer. So he texted her back and told her no. Drop off was at 6pm and the kids better be at his house at 6pm or she would be in court for contempt. That she was not to 'make plans' with the kids during his time.
(Note: their CO does not offer Labor day, memorial day or 4th of July as designated Holidays. Whoever they are with for the day per regular co guides... they are with.)
BM then called back and stated they were leaving town and it would be "impossible" for her to have the kids to him for six. He reminded her she could not leave the county with the kids without his approval, per the CO, and he was not giving permission. That she has between now and 6 pm to do whatever she wants with the kids IN THE COUNTY and have them to him at 6pm, no later. He then hung up.
BM is now having a fit. Why because once again the CO only applies to him, not her. CO clearly states any out of town trips with the kids have to be approved, in writing, by the other parent no less than 72 hours prior to the plans taking place. Apparently in her last text she will be dropping the kids off to his house within minutes since she can't "change her plans" so he is "robbing her of her time with the kids"
No, you are choosing your plans over your time with the kids. Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for others! Had she followed the CO guides and asked him a few days ago, he likely would have said ok, fine. Problem is she didnt ask, didnt follow the CO, just informed him like she had every right.
He just left.... and still hasn't noticed the pink fingernail polish on his fingers.
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Comments
Apparently driving to
Apparently driving to Jacksonville to visit family. Really? For an hour?? Its a near five hour drive one way. If you leave at 10 am you arrive at 3pm, to spend an HOUR to turn around and drive back to make it back for 9pm?
She's full of $hit. Don't know what her real plans were, but the ones she told him about are horse hockey.
Seriously? I would guess that
Seriously? I would guess that she had planned a fight all along and needed a babysitter for the day. This was her way of making it look like she wanted the kids, but she was not allowed.
ok usually i totally agree
ok usually i totally agree and want nothing more than bms to be put in their place but I'm also a negotiator and try to look ahead at what's in it for us and kids in the long run.
Did he really need the kids back by 6pm tonight or did he just want to win on principle? Could he have saved himself a battle in the future by just letting the kids go with bm for a few extra hours?
There are definitely times I wanted to fight xh and bm over sticking to COs (and have for sure)but at the end of the day wouldn't it have been better to let the kids see their family and for you two to get a few extra hours of peace together? You could have gone to a movie
Winning the battle with bm isn't always a win for the kids.
In a perfect world, with
In a perfect world, with reasonable, mature adults, that scenario would be wonderful. However, with BM's like this (ours included), you give them an inch and they take a mile. You cannot be flexible. They are like 5 year olds pushing the limits to see how much they can get away with. You have to stick with the CO to the letter, because the moment you deviate, they will use it against you. Good times...
Well we got the full story
Well we got the full story from the kids.
What BM told them what that she had set up with SO earlier in the week that she could keep the kids until 9pm tomorrow evening. Her "story" that she would be home at 9 this evening was exactly what I said it would be, a lie.
Her mother already called SO saying he wasn't being fair that he promised. When SO informed her BM never asked to take the kids out of town for a single day, let alone on his time and for a day longer she caught on and apologized. BM apparently also told her family she had already ok'd the mini-vaca with SO when she did not bother once to try and get in contact with him to ask/ set things up etc.
Sixteen's mom: I can totally understand where you are coming from. But with this BM there is no middle ground. You abide by the CO or if you give her an inch she will suddenly decide they are hers to keep again full time. SO learned a long time ago you can not negotiate with crazy (BM).
In her mind her whims over ride the CO and everyone else can just deal with it.