Exactly the same every word you have said! I love the term Disney dad too! I'm soooo glad I've found this site! x

GG was a HuGe Disneydad!!

For the two oldest, he was able to maintain that pace for about four years. He kept it up another almost two years after that with the youngest, Prince Hygiene, who PASed out at the age of almost 7.

Out of curiosity, how many of us deal with a disney dad who makes it all about the skids when they come for visits? I feel like they are guests to be entertained.

OMG, skids were at our place last night after an almost 2 week hyaitus and it was sickening to watch DH coddle his wittle 12 and 13 year old. The whole reason we had them was because DH wanted to take them to show them the house that we are in the process of buying. They of course told him that they want the two largest bedrooms and lord knows what else, then we got home and DH promptly cooked dinner and served them of course, (RARELY does this if skids are not there, usually we just fend for ourselves)then DH got the 4-wheeler out for them so they could go for a 3 minute ride, then DH took them fishing, then DH cooked them a SECOND "dinner" at like 9:30 pm and served them in OUR bed upstairs where they were watching TV, then tells me at 11PM that he is running to the store to get eggs so skids can have eggs for breakfast in the morning.

I just hang with BS1 and try to keep him from getting upset when the "Three Muskateers" are constantly running off and not including him and me. I seriously was on the verge of vomiting last night it was soooooo ridiculous.

I used to call it "returning royalty" or "royal visits" or "entitlement training sessions"

I was merely an "entitlement session faciliator" as GG would spend every last dime what was left over from massive CS on guilty disney daddy spending. Then he's be flat busted by Monday and he would invariably ask me to "just transfer $50 over into his account"

:sick:

How about the "calling shotgun" to ride up front with daddykins when going anywhere; full knowing that SM and possibly BD/BS would be going along to??!!

I used to have a Disney Dad on my hands. It took all the kids living with us FULL TIME to break that mentality. After that he pretty much realized how he had been manipulated over the years. I've also called him out on doing things out of guilt. He doesn't seem to like that too much.

Now please don’t throw arrows or darts my way. But I see nothing wrong..(IF THE CNP ONLY GETS EVERY OTHER WEEKEND!) to have those 4 days be fun filled and on the go.

If I only saw my kids 4 days a month, you can bet your sweet bippy, that we would have a ball those 4 days. I am not talking about breaking the bank on the kids or letting them be little turds, but just having FUN.

DH used to do this, and it did annoy me. But only because he was doing things he could not afford.

AA - as you know because we have had this conversation, I have the same problem. From your description of your schedule on SKIDS w/ends, your Disney Dad is even more extreme than mine. I think I have three main objections to the Disney Dad programme:

1. It is not like real life. He is creating a fantasy fun world and treating them like you would visitors who come to your house occasionally. For instance, my adult BDs come to see us every few months or so, and we do lay on some minor entertainment for them, but it is minor - going for a walk, having a meal out, watching a movie (normally at home). The SDs have come for EOW for the last 9 years, and I do think that a non stop round of pleasure seeking is all a bit contrived and unnatural. Should they not mostly be doing things with their peer group at this age? As pointed out by Crazymom - you can bet that if they were with us full time this DDad behaviour would last about 10 minutes, and they would be going to the shops on the bus like their friends. I think it was Auteur who gave a lovely quote to one of my posts about not providing the DDad service - "if you are doing yard work, they should be doing yard work" - that really made me smile.

2. It is giving them an incorrect view of the world in that their needs and wishes are paramount, and the rest of the family can go hang. Whatever the SDs want on a SKIDS w/end, they tend to get. What sort of message is their father giving them about relationships with men in general - you can get anything you want out of a man as long as you are prepared to throw a hissy fit if he does not come up with the goods. You do not ever have to be unselfish, and say "lets compromise for once." I have seen one of my SDs become really selfish and greedy, and I believe it is in large part down to this kind of appeasing and spoiling by her bio parents.

3. I get ignored practically the whole w/end. Its good I don't mind my own company, but that is not the point.

One last thing - he works a 12 hour commuting day - goes to bed exhausted at 9pm/9.30 after getting in at 7.30pm and up at 5.30am - so he would not see the SDs much more even if they lived with us, as presumably they would be at BMs EOW.

When SS was just with him for 4 days a month, DH always told him that if he ever wanted to live with DH, the "fun all the time" would stop. After SS moved in with us, DH really was not to bad with the disney stuff.

YOu know, from bf's end, he really isn't too bad. We live pretty normally when she's over. YES he's somewhat less attentive to me -to be expected I guess. BUT-we still eat most dinners at home together, maybe watch a movie, the kids play outside w/neighbor kids. It's rare we go on an outing or out to eat actually. We DO have down time. Sometimes we'll be outside just us-we have even gone to my room and locked the door to get some solo time while they play

Sometimes they can go skating, or we go to his brothers pool in summer...but it's very low key-no spending, shopping, going going, etc.

Shotgun??? Auteur-please tell my your DH didn't allow them to remove you from front seat when visiting?? HELL to the no-my kids love calling shotgun when it's just us 3. They KNOW if bf's in the car w/me, my mom, ANY adult they go in the back-end of story. Even my crazy SD doesn't try this!!! GOSH I'd be so angry for you if they actually got away with this!!!

My dh is actually NOT a Disney dad in the sense of finacially spoiling ss or wanting to take him great places all the time-rather he just feels he shouldnt be disciplined at all as he wants ss to enjoy his time here and not spend a minute being punished. it's not that I dont understand where my dh is coming from-but my ss is 13. I've told him if he spends his w/e in his room due to misbehavior then that is really HIS (ss's) choice and he needs to accept responsibility for that.

As far as the spending and such that others deal with-I think this is crazy. I like to have fun as much as the next guy, BUT this is not family life people. If your child visits only every other weekend wouldnt you want to take that precious time to impart family values and morals on your kids? Teach them all you can about life in the limited amount of time you have them? Dont these disney dad's think that is important? I am constantly talking to my kids about "how to do the right thing", taking them to Church, trying to expose them to things that not only are fun, but also that will teach them something about how to conduct yourselves in life.

How about the ubiquitous:

"Where's my dad?" when daddykins moves what would be considered a a micromillimetre away from one of my retinal floaters??

When my SDs ask where he is, they always say "Where is MY dad?" Subtext: He's nothing to do with you even though he married you.