I had my own similar episode with my SS when he was 15. I physically threw him out the front door with no coat and one shoe in to a raging snow storm. He had been lippy with his mom and I stepped in. He chose to walk away when we were addressing him so I put my hand on his shoulder to turn him around and he threw a punch at me. So, out he went.

He did not stay gone long since I went after him within a few minutes but I get your whole situation very well.

At 16 he can quit school and enter the work force and when your DH gets back home with him I would park SS at the kitchen table and take your DH to your room for an alignment session where you quickly outline what you will BOTH say to SS as a united front.

Any disagreements you can work our after you give SS-16 the behavioral demands that he must meet in order to remain in YOUR home. Yes it is DH's home and even SS-16's home but a teen remains at the pleasure of the adults in the household and SS needs this message loud and clear.

IMHO of course.

Good luck and best regards,

I had almost the same experience with my SD15.

we got into a heated argument and she wasn't listening to me at all. She was picking on her little brother and sister, and when i told her to stop she just blew up!

we started yelling back and forth and then she told me she wanted to pack all her shit and leave the house. so i told her that if she wanted to leave so bad that i would help her pack [just to prove a point that i don't feel sorry for her and i'm never going to join her little pity party].

so i started clearing off her dresser throwing all of her belongings into a bag and i went under her bed to pull out a basket of clothes and she ripped it out of my hands and threw it on the floor. then she went under her bed, got her shoes, and started throwing them at me hitting me in the face.

so i told her i've had it with her shitty attitude and everything she was putting our family through. [she pulled many incidents like this before to where we had to call the police on her]

she got in my face and started calling me every name in the book and pushed me into the dresser. so i SLAPPED across her face. she started swinging at me and kicking me and i pushed her onto the bed and held her down to keep her under control until her dad finally came into the room.

of course she started crying, yelling and screaming saying i beat the shit out of her! her dad grabbed all of her stuff and walked into the living room [she was running after him chasing him] and he through her duffle bag onto the floor and PUT HERSELF IN FRONT OF THE BAG and threw herself on the ground yelling and screaming that her dad had threw her to the ground. let me remind you that she did all of this in front of her 8 yr old sister and 10 year old brother.

her brother and sister were in the bedroom crying because they were scared of her!!

her dad grabbed her bag and threw it out on the front porch and told her to get out and locked the doors. she ran to the neighbors house and called her mom to come pick her up [1 year before this happened, she got kicked out of her moms for pulling the same shit with her mom and her SD] she hasn't been back since.

she went and told her whole family and people from her church that i socked her in her face repeatedly and sat on her and banged her head into the wall! i got CPS called on me, and they said they could tell i was a good honest woman and they said she was just a typical drama queen teenager crying out for attention. a couple months after this happened she saw me at a family gathering and came up to me and cried and hugged me saying she was sorry she made up all these lies about me and that she missed me. i still love her and only wish the best for her.

now, about a year later, she refuses to talk to her dad because he is still with me. half of the people in my bf's family hate me because they think im a psycho abusive bitch. I AM SO OVER HER BULLSHIT AND SHE DESERVED WHAT SHE GOT. i do not regret it. she put me through so much shit that she was lucky i didn't slap her sooner. i am not a violent person, but when it comes to disrespecting the people that i love, and try to purposely ruin our family and our household, then i'm going to step in and take care of the situation since my bf didn't have the balls to stand up to his daughter. as of now, all i can do is HAVE MY OWN BACK. i'm involved in someone else's family [my bf's] who has 4 kids of his own, and i have none. I have to be strong and hold my ground or else they will walk all over me and ruin or relationship. This whole experience has made me a better person, and i now know in the future what to do and what not to do with my own kids later down the line.

good luck!! stay strong!

skids to me seem more like guests ,young retarded guests but guests,they try to make you feel like your the guest,but to me in no way are they family ,family you can run around with your underwear on in front of ,but not skids,but you see these guests always overstay there welcome ,then when they finally leave your like THANK GOD ,and then they freakin come back,trust me if i have to do over definetly will not date anyone with kids ,it is not worth it,and if i have kids with someone and we break up i will just plan on being single because i dont want to put anyone through what i have been through,,,

Hi Kay!! I feel like you do! And, yes, they are visitors...thats why the court calls it visitation. And like you i am sooo glad when my lazy ass ss20 (stepstoner!!)goes back to his HOME with his entitlement/spoiling BM.
Like a lot of us on here we have had extreme situations with our kids/stepkids and cant help it if we feel the way we do.
My ss20 just shows up, no call no plans, nothing. just shows up on the doorstep. The kicker is he brought no bag/clothes or anything. Just expected daaaddyyy-kins to go buy whatever he wants/needs...
Anywhooo-there are alot of people on here with differing opinions and thats good too so you can get a lot of great advice-especially from stepAside and Aueter blogs.
Sorry if this pisses people off I cant help the way I feel inside. }:)

I meant above @ had enough 29...

Kay: Its very hard sometimes. My ss20 screamed, yelled, pushed his Father and tried to punch him in the face. My husband just lost it and punched him back. It was an ugly scene but for some reason it had to happen. My ss20 was shocked that his Dad actually didnt tolerate his crap for once.
Hang in there.