He who usually sleeps until 8-9am was up at 7am this morning asking about the summer camp schedule so he could phone in order to catch his son. I was none too helpful in that quest and the camp phone system seems set up in a way to gently deter worry wart parents, thank goodness.

This is my second summer with SS. Last summer he wore me and his dad the f*** out. Of course, his dad thinks this is a sacrifice a parent is willingly supposed to make of themselves for their offspring. He apparently comes from another universe than me. I'm constantly told how I don't have any experience with or know anything about raising children. I guess those two girls that I raised as a single mom weren't "real" or skipped childhood?

This summer has been better than last summer, mainly because SS has had a fairly full slate of his own. He started with two weeks of summer school, but got kicked out the beginning of the second week. His BM rode in to the 'rescue' (cough) by whisking him away to stay at her parents for a couple of weeks. I think that had to do with me informing SS that his consistent (if not intentional) failure to successfully execute HIS responsibilities school-wise made me not want to do anything with him. Entirely possible he had grand delusions of us spending the entire summer traveling and camping until I told him different.

There had been little to nothing in the way of consequences for SS's inappropriate or failure behaviors before he arrived at my home. I suspect his whining to his BM that we wouldn't do anything w/him for the summer was why she found somewhere for him to go. She hinted at that in a phone conversation we had just before he left for camp. Certainly I enjoyed the break while SS was away w/his grandparents, but that it was probably a way for him to slide out from underneath the consequences for his lousy behavior at school leaves me a bit uneasy.

SS lives with us full time. His BM has agreed to get him every other weekend but often begs off on the duty. As long as he's in school, at least I have weekdays for "me" time and regrouping. Mainly, I don't have to worry about breakfast and lunch. Baby Huey expects a full course meal for EVERY meal. I remember when my first daughter was just an infant and feeding time seemed to come so fast and frequently. I lost a lot of weight because by the time I finished preparing food and feeding her, I didn't care to look at food. This is how I feel with SS, but he's a teenager rather than an infant. I'd love to leave it to him to worry about his own danged meals, but he makes very poor food choices even when everything in the kitchen is relatively health conscious. His father does nothing to limit his portions or insist he take some whole grain rice in place of some of that triple portion of meat oozing w/sauce or heaping helping of sugary condiment. I had to remove my beloved Fiesta bowls from the kitchen due to their 3 cup capacity. SS thinks any bowl MUST be filled to the top, so now we only have 12 oz bowls in the kitchen. The Beloved complained. I ignore him. All super-sized cups have also been replaced with 12oz size or less. SS often pees in the bed, but I am a cruel hag and nag for putting limits on or suggesting he measure and control his liquid intake.

So while SS is away in capable hands, SS is NOT truly away. The Beloved refuses to consider us getting away alone for a few days, because he might not be readily available to his whiny helpless whittle son (yeah, the same one who is tyrannical Mr Billy Bad @ss at school). It was the same way while SS was away at his grandparents earlier this summer.

I have read of "disengaging" here and it reminds me of what I took from reading Al-Anon materials (yes, the Beloved has issues too). I've offered more input than is willingly accepted and even though I can see ways for both Beloved & Son to lead fuller, healthier and happier lives, I have no control over whether they accept or wish to make any changes. Their nonsense wears me out and I want to be away from them, at least until SS goes back to school. SS starts school in two weeks, so I'm packing my bags for a week +/- grand adventure and great escape! Now just to hang on long enough for SS to be collected on Saturday when camp is really over or to make the trek to 'rescue' him sooner. The Beloved is not allowed to drive, so I have to tend to that task.

Sometimes I wonder what ever inspired me to get or remain involved with the Beloved...