Question... please any BM's or SM's
I have an SD10 who I think is on the spectrum, but then she does things that I don't think an autistic child would do. I am not a professional so I wouldn't know :?
So on to my question... I have a BS4 who already showers himself, he knows how to wash his hair, his body, even his face... did I mention he does this HIMSELF??!!! Yes, I am in the bathroom with him, but he doesn't want me to wash him anymore. I don't have a daughter of my own nor have I truly raised my SD10. Yes I have taken care of my SD since she was 2 but never full time like now. My issue is that she doesn't know how to shower herself!!! Yes you read it right... She DOES NOT know how to shower herself. She is 10 and I have to supervise her shower time. I have tried teaching her how to wash her hair and she still doesn't know how to. She will wash only part of her hair and totally miss the other half. She only washes her arms and will totally "forget" to wash her legs even FEET!! eeww!! I ask her why she doesn't wash her feet and she tells me because she can't reach them. REALLY!! :jawdrop: uumm ok!
She gets upset that I walk in, yes I KNOCK and let her know I am walking in, and tell her how to wash herself. SO I guess my question is...
Is this normal?? Shouldn't 10 year olds know how to wash themselves? Any answers, suggestions, or comments will be appreciated!
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Well, I am a BM, SM, and a
Well, I am a BM, SM, and a nurse. My kids are SS18 SS16 BS12 BS12(twins) SD12 SD10 SS8 SD5 and BD3. (yep that is NINE)
In your case, what is BM like? Is she the type you think has tried to teach her daughter how to bathe? If not, then she may very well may not know how. Also at this age, if she hasn't been previously taught, it will be hard to learn as she has already learned how NOT to care for herself. Patience and time may be all she needs. Keep explaining to her how to properly care for herself, and why this is important. My cousin, who my Aunt became a SM of when the girl was 10 yrs old, has told me similar stories. SD didn't know how to bath, didn't even know how to wipe after going to the bathroom and was getting infections and a sore bottom. After lots of care and instruction from my Aunt, she is now a happy, healthy, functioning 21 year old.
A lot can be attributed to how the child was raised previously.
Good Luck!
Well, I am a BM, SM, and a
Well, I am a BM, SM, and a nurse. My kids are SS18 SS16 BS12 BS12(twins) SD12 SD10 SS8 SD5 and BD3. (yep that is NINE)
In your case, what is BM like? Is she the type you think has tried to teach her daughter how to bathe? If not, then she may very well may not know how. Also at this age, if she hasn't been previously taught, it will be hard to learn as she has already learned how NOT to care for herself. Patience and time may be all she needs. Keep explaining to her how to properly care for herself, and why this is important. My cousin, who my Aunt became a SM of when the girl was 10 yrs old, has told me similar stories. SD didn't know how to bath, didn't even know how to wipe after going to the bathroom and was getting infections and a sore bottom. After lots of care and instruction from my Aunt, she is now a happy, healthy, functioning 21 year old.
A lot can be attributed to how the child was raised previously.
Good Luck!
If that is all you see to
If that is all you see to make you think she is on the spectrum-i think it is huge leap. It could be any number of things-it could be simply that noone ever showed her. She might think you just get in, stand under the water and that does the job. Heck, some adults do this-maybe her bm did and this is what she knows? Or maybe her bm washed her hair and her body for her so this is a new thing for her? Has she been very sheltered? Is she used to taking baths and not showers? Maybe she is just super immature? Does she have a sexual abuse hx? That makes her uncomfortable with her body?
You could also try an
You could also try an American Girl book-I believe there's one for girls that are sort of at that prepuberty stage-nothing about sex-but more focused on hygiene, periods, bras, etc
What happens when she takes a
What happens when she takes a bath?
Well, to reply to the people
Well, to reply to the people who commented about me thinking SD is on the spectrum read a previous post, this is not the only reason why... I am NOT that dumb!
I am seriously not sure what BM has thought SD, I didn't think she was a neglectful parent but recent revelations I am no longer sure what BM was doing. SD has told me that step-grandma, step-dad's mom, would do it for her, why... I don't know! Why step-grandma was taking care of SD is a long story that I do NOT want to get into, it is very personal. I do want to say that she was very well taken care off and loved! nuff said!
I have tried teaching her several times, but she doesn't seem to actually want to learn. Just like when I was talking with her about her attitude she just rolls her eyes and gets annoyed. She has told me several times that she doesn't like to be corrected or told how to do things. As a SM, should I just allow her to wash half her body?? I THINK NOT!! But it's not like I can tell DH to supervise her himself, that would be all kinds of awkward :O
I try telling DH about her attitude but his response... "what do you want me to do? I've talked to her and she tells me that she is listening!" In a way he is right, it's not like I can prove it to him how she is acting and he can't confront her at the time of her actions. I don't feel like a complete looser in all this, but I would just like to have a night without having to supervise 2 children. Ok, so the next question is... why doesn't DH supervise BS, well DH gets out of work really late and is not home at bath-time. As for why she doesn't take a bath?!??!! REALLY??!! In my opinion... and I am lucky because it is MY household so I CAN apply MY opinions, is she is TOO old for a bath. 10 YEARS old!! if BS4 can shower himself, I think she should too!
At times she does go off on
At times she does go off on tangents about things I have no idea where they came from, but so do I. I have so many things going on in my head, working 2 jobs, taking care of 2 kids, making dinner, getting 2 kids ready for bed, planning lunches for the next day for 4 people, and the list goes on... that I sometimes start a conversation and have no idea where it is going. As for baths, it is my opinion. I do not take baths, in fact I hate baths. I feel like I am stewing in my own filth. I respect your opinion, but this is MY household so My opinion is what counts.
As for different genes I think you are right, but I think what I what was the underlying bitch of mine was that she gives me attitude when I am only trying to help her. I will continue to check on her and hope that she gets it soon.