Should BM tell DH about upcoming doctors and dentist appointments?
CO says that BM provides insurance and DH pays half of all bills not covered. We have no problem with this. This is something that was agreed to while they were mediating, but it seems like BM is abusing it. She apparently has switched jobs and does not have SD7 insured anymore even though she is supposed to. We have been getting bills presented to DH by BM's mother every other weekend for a few months now. He is supposed to pay these balances within one month, but it's really starting to piss me off. BM never tells DH about any upcoming doctors or dentist appointments, and she never discusses the bills with him. It's always her mother that she sends to do the dirty work, and the discussion about it goes down in front of SD7. BM's mom is a complete bitch, probably part of where BM gets it from. This weekend she yelled at him, in front of SD because he hadn't yet paid the bill that she had given him 2 weeks ago. He explained again that he wanted to speak with BM about it, and that he had emailed her which he received no reply. It makes him so mad that she yells at him in front of SD, especially since it's not even his ex, but his ex MIL.
Should he just pay these bills immediately, no questions asked, or is he fair in asking that BM be human enough to speak with him about these matters that concern his child?
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No way. BM needs to step up
No way. BM needs to step up and talk to him about it first of all. He didn't have a kid with her mom. And she should be telling him about the appts BEFORE they happen. What a tool.
It would be courteous of her
It would be courteous of her to speak with him about any upcoming appointments. I understand how a suprise medical bill can affect the household budget. However, your DH needs to speak with his attorney asap about getting the proper paperwork filed so that BM is REQUIRED to clear these things with him first. Believe me, I understand. We just left court 2 weeks ago over the same crap.
bm used to do something
bm used to do something similar, she would make appointments and be a no show and we would get $25 missed appt. bills all the f'n time.
i finally called and explained the problem and asked them to put a note in the system to call dh and confirm dr. appt's and we would make sure skids were there or would at the very least give a 24 hour cancellation notice. you may have to get dh, to do it or have him authorize you to speak on his behalf. i did the same at the pharmacy, just updated the contact number. worked like a charm and no more surprise bills.
I wholeheartedly agree with
I wholeheartedly agree with you, starfish! When it comes to medical expenses, communication is a key element to getting things done properly. Some people are simply unreliable when it comes to remembering appointments and reserving dates. Perhaps it is a good idea to have a secretary call a designated person to schedule follow-up appointments and jot them down. Speaking of medical jargon, does anyone know of any good San Jose doctors?
Either way, great article!
Thanks so much for the
Thanks so much for the replies, I'm happy that I am not the only one feeling this way! Right after the CO was signed in April by both parties, ex MIL shows up and gives DH bills for every appointment SD had since the beginning of 2010! They really thought that he was just going to fork over like $1000 for appointments that were never even discussed, and for before the CO was even around. He's been in this custody battle since they got divorced 5 years ago, so he's not ready to kiss her ass on any of her demands. So when his lawyer confirmed he didn't have to back pay on any of the previous bills, she started taking SD7 to the doctor and dentist every two weeks since April, and sending her mother to present him with the bills.
Thank you Helpmeeeee, I like
Thank you Helpmeeeee, I like your name!
That is exactly what I have been worried about, fraudulent charges and BM sending bills that DH is not even responsible for. If she would just communicate with him like a normal human being, then this wouldn't even be a problem. It's not like we want to take anything away from SD, but it seems that she is just manipulating him once again. I told him that he needs to call the doctors and dentists to make sure that he is on the contact list, and if not make sure BM puts him on. That way he can correspond directly with the offices and not have to worry about money being taken from him that wasn't even owed.