After some disengagement on my part over the last several weeks, meaning SO's total immersion with SD6 on the weekends, her whining, cloying, complaining ways even got on SO's last nerve. Then finally a couple weekends ago SO witnessed her ignoring me when I spoke to her, and although it was a relatively minor incident compared to other instances, it made him realize that I was not making this shit up that she has been disrespectful and has been acting like she out-and-out dislikes me. He thinks it's BM poisoning her against me. He said he was going to get to the bottom of it with SD and put a stop to it. I asked him not to because his bull-in-a-china-shop communication style is not going to be productive with improving the relationship, if anything he would probably make it worse. (notice how there was no mention of getting to the bottom of it with BM...can't dare upset her)

Somewhere in this timeframe he also expressed that he didn't want his daughter to run me off anymore- he missed me. I said we'd just play each day by ear.

Then a week ago I accidentally let forth to SO a very long spewage of what my problems are with SD. I didn't really mean to be so blunt, but the words just would not stop coming out of my mouth no matter what my brain told it. I didn't yell or say mean things, but I was completely honest, which can still be hurtful. I started with several of the typical "It's not that I dislike her, it's just that when she fill-in-the-blank or when you allow her to fill-in-the-blank it [choose one: disrespects me/upsets me/is unfair]"...to which he agreed (in theory). But could I stop there? No. I had to add "OK, you know what? Maybe I don't like her. You've known her long enough to have already loved her, but I haven't and she's just not a person that's easy to like. She's kinda mean and she lies and she tries to get other people in trouble and she doesn't like anything ever" and God help me if I could just not shut up, right down to someone needs to wash her face and brush her hair. When my words eventually dried up and trailed off, I expected him to be mad or hurt or something. But instead he agreed, saying "Yep, I know...she's just like her mother". Still, I felt a little sorry about saying those things about someone he loves.

So you'd think it would have been good to get these things off my chest, but now I feel bad because he has to go and over-react in the opposite direction. He's prone to ridiculous exaggerations in responses. Fictional illustration as example of what he does: I might say in a matter of fact, non-accusatory neutral tone "Hey SO, is there something on the bottom of your shoe? There's tracks where you came in..." to which he would answer "Fine! I'll never walk in the house again". It's always "Fine, I'll never [whatever] again!". You see where this is going...I'm now the bad guy because "Fine, I'll never bother you with her again". So he's skipped a visit and sent her home early. I swore to him that I can deal with her being around, and that I can even try to make the best of it...but he keeps doing this. This past weekend he said it wasn't me when he sent her home early, just that he didn't want to deal with her. I guess he is a guy, so I should take his answer at face value and not read into it...but I still feel like the bad guy. Then I wonder if SO thinks that or I'm just projecting it on myself. He does say I think too damned much.

And suddenly, out of the blue, she's acting normal toward me like she used to. I had picked up some bubbles for her and she kept asking when I'd be home to play with her. What happened to the silent treatment and dirty looks that I was getting used to?

It's like a freakin' merry-go-round around here with all of our emotions and behaviors going up and down and all around.