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Forgive and Forget?

CrystalRE's picture

We have a two week on, two week off summer custody arrangement. The kids will be back from BMs in just a few days for our two weeks. Our first two week rotation was so awful that I am very apprehensive about their return. There were a lot of little things that went on during that time but one sticks out in my head and makes my temperature rise every time I think about it.

It was the second day of our rotation and SD-7 had a ball game. DH had to work so I took her, SD-11 and my BD-15 to the game, DH would come later. As soon as we got to the same SD-11 took off without a word and wouldn't sit with us. When DH arrives she finally comes over. A few minutes later BM arrives. BM was there for 15 minutes or so when she sends another one of her kids(different father) over to us saying "Mommy needs you my SD". My SD left to talk to BM and did not return until the game was over.

Come to find out the next day, BM's sister came with her to the game and brought SD's cousin who use to go to school with my bio-daughter. SD and BM's family spent the entire rest of the game talking crap about my BD...whats worse is that my SD came home afterwards and told my BD everything that was said. THEN BM and the same family members come to my house the next day, unbeknownst to us, when DH and I were at work to talk to SD. SD then tells BM's family that my BD said mean stuff about them! When they leave SD goes back into our house and tells BD that "BM's family really hates her".

As you can imagine my BD was very upset about this not only because she never said anything about SD's family but because SD was talking crap about her. So BD greeted me at the door when I got home from work and told me about it. What do you guys make of this. Im trying to get over my anger about the situation before SD returns but its very hard. I want to be able to forgive and forget about it but its just too hard for me to comprehend!

Comments

starfish's picture

bm & fam came to YOUR house while you were gone??? i would lose my fucking mind..... i have made it clear that if bm/her fam or ag(s) (on non co visitation days) show up at my house EVER (uninvited which pretty much = NEVER) i will call the cops immediatley! we have no trespassing signs, and i would consider them trespassing..

now, sd being a little bitch, that would be the very last thing i did for her..... and when you're stuck with her ass, make arrangements for her to do bd stuff only, then maybe the little bitch will stay home with bm!

~my situation makes me not the biggest skid (ag) fan~

hismineandours's picture

I agree that bm coming to your house is a no no. I am assuming your 15 year old is in charge. Give her instructios to call the police if bm shows up again-and then call bm and tell her that is what will happen if she shows up again. As far as talking crap- i would tell your sd that her behavior is rude, inappropriate, and unacceptable and that she can now be grounded so she has plenty of time to think about why she was wrong. Perhaps she can take over some of bd's chores to help make amends to her for her inappropriate behavior. Too bad you cannot also ground the nasty bm.

CrystalRE's picture

Thanks for the advice, everyone. It is getting increasingly hard for me to keep pretending like these things don't bother me. DH acts like he understands why this upsets me but I don't know for sure. He blames BM for SD's behavior but refuses to say anything to her about it. He talked with SD about what she did and expects me to be instantly over it because its "handled".