tired and then some
I am living with a man, his daughter, and my three kids....he has two more kids but they live with their mom. His ex is EX STEP MOM to oldest (her BM is passed away, and ex is only mom she knows)
I have no rights to any of his kids, not for good or bad (unless i am to shop for them) I do not make any decisions when it comes to them, not because I dont want to, but because they are not my kids. They talk to him and "mom" about everything, and he dont share anything with me until its done or decisions are made. They are VERY secretive...VERY!!!! I mean to the point that she will txt him just to make sure I dont know anything, and he txts back. He dont discuss anything with me when it comes to his kids, why?
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^^^Ditto^^^
^^^Ditto^^^
Why am I still here? Im here
Why am I still here? Im here because we do love each other. I love his kids, he loves mine. We share a home, just seems most of the time Im not part of their family. Its an odd feeling because I know I am, but at the same time I feel like an outsider
My SS is 21 and I do not want
My SS is 21 and I do not want to know anything about him. When I was involved he just manipulated me for money. He used me to get money to buy drugs. Now I do not want to know anything. My DH keeps engaging with SS 21 BM when he should be telling her never to contact him again. They only want money.
All I know and want to know is that SS 21 is not allowed in MY house and I will not see him.
So not knowing can be a good thing.
While his ex does call a lot
While his ex does call a lot of the shots, and sometimes I feel as if he'd rather keep her happy than me, the txting is between him and his daughter that lives with us. They dont hardly ever talk in front of me, they txt or call each other, or he goes in her room and shuts the door to talk to her. I never know whats up, not even to when her boyfriend is coming over and staying all day. If she does talk to him or vise versa, and I walk in the convo is done and she walks away proceeding to txt. I feel like an ousider in my own home
I have talked to him numerous
I have talked to him numerous times aboutleaving me out in the dark, not sharing anything with me. If I talk to him about her im attacking her, if I sit and listen to him vent im not listening or helping. If I try to get involved, im "interferring" or its really not my business...I just wonder if this is normal, and how have others coped with it. I get tired of hearing he has a new txt but im not allowwed to know what it is, and its always her asking something, or wanting something, or whatever. Its just annoying. Im supposed to be "mom" and all I am is "dads girlfriend". Did I mention her bm is gone and her ex-step mom has more rights to her than I do? Like she can sign her in and out of school,tell what to do, do whatever a "real mom" does, but I cant...odd
How long have you been
How long have you been together, and how old is his daughter?
We have been together almost
We have been together almost 4 years and his daughter is 16.
Yup. She is alienating you on
Yup. She is alienating you on purpose, and it's probably not going to change because your BF condones it.
Welcome to Step Talk, it's a great place to vent! You're gonna need it!
I would imagine if SD ever
I would imagine if SD ever lived with us, it would be similar.
My SD is 20, and hasn't been around in a year. It looks like since my son was born 2 months ago, she and DH text each other a bit, but I have no idea about what, or how frequently. As far as I knew, they had little contact, but just a week ago, DH got a text, and said it was her, and I was surprised. Then he said that it's no surprise because they text, and so I was surprised again.
I'm not terribly bothered by not knowing what's in the texts since I don't need to know everything, especially since I doubt I'm the topic of conversation 99.9% of the time. It just is a weird feeling not being told anything when I share what people text me. I try to reciprocate by keeping quiet when texting, but then I feel like I'm hiding things when I'm not. Ugh. I guess some people are more comfortable with being secretive whereas others of us like to be open.
Another example: sitting
Another example: sitting here, dad was going to drive her to the store, he wasnt home in time, so instead of asking me to take her sje texts her dad to see if her boyfriend can walk her there(after he walks to our house). Lol, I asked her why she didn't ask me, her response was I would feel bad. But I'm supposed to be "like a mom" guess thats only the case when she needs girl stuff....
Personally I wouldn't be in a
Personally I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that didn't treat me like a partner in his life. His kids are a part of his life...so when it comes to them I would require to be included. No-one will make a decision that affects me or my life without my consent. That means my person, my house, my car, even my time....anything. I will be involved in all decisions or I will be single. Period.