He does the ONE thing with the skids that I asked him to do with me :(
So, my dh and I moved into our new house May 1st. We finally have a home instead of a place we're renting. It's freakin huge, and I have 10X the space. When we moved in, there were 2 rooms upstairs finished for sd8 & bd7, a bathroom, our master bedroom with master bath, and then downstairs is the unfinished basement. We've been working our butts off to get it finished so the 3 SS can be down there & not drive me completely insane when they visit.
I helped him tile the bathroom for 8 1/2 hours downstairs, and we picked out some awesome burnt orange & tan paint to go in it. 2 of the 3 rooms down there are essentially done now, and I helped him prime/paint for probably 3 hours. Mind you, all of this is for 3 stepkids I see every other weekend, and I will not be in this area of the house after it is finished. Ever.
My dad loaned us some extra $ because we owed the sheetrock guy a lotta dough for getting the rooms down there finished so quickly. He loaned us the money on the condition that we all painted down there as a family to kind of bond--he knows I have serious issues with the stepkids. Well, I told my dh that he could paint whatever he wanted with the kids (I had to leave the house for some errands & stuff) but i wanted to paint the orange color in the bathroom WITH HIM. He agreed.
I get home & guess what? His little stuck-up brat SD9 painted the orange color in the bathroom with him. That was the ONLY thing they painted. I WAS HURT. I felt betrayed. I felt ignored. And then he thinks I am blowing this out of proportion. It really bothered me. I still feel bad about it. This is supposed to be OUR home, we're supposed to do these things together. I don't understand why he couldn't have just painted one of the boys' rooms instead of the ONLY one that I specifically wanted to paint with him. 
Maybe I am blowing it out of proportion. We've had a SUPER rough weekend arguing constantly when we DO speak.... I have only talked to him through text messages since our blow-ups, and it's been 3 days.
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i dont come to this site to
i dont come to this site to much any more. And only post when something jumps out at me..like your post.
I can really relate to how you are feeling. And I dont think its really about the painting the bathroom. It sounds like you are hurt because its yours and his new house and there are things and times you want to share with him and him alone.
My husband and I build a new house a few years ago...and i went through all of that (he has 2 children, I have none). It was difficult and can still be at times. SOmetimes I feel that its not my home but theirs. SOmetimes I feel like an intruder in my home. All of these are feelings....mine. THey pass.
The home is a place where we all live . Weather its only EOW or whatever. And if you renting buying whatever kids will take over!!! They are kids, thats what they do!
SO what i do and did it lay down some rules. First our bedroom OFF LIMITS. Their room is theirs...this is where they store all their crap..not all over the house. The rest of the house is for everyone. These areas need to be respected because everyone uses them...not just them.
We also finished our basement so the kids could get out of our hair......thats a laugh. they never do down there.......but if they have friends over I tell them thats their place not the entire house.
Bottom line is that right off we need to lay down rules cus no one can read our minds. And also getting along with our husbands is really important. It is why we are there in the first place. He will be much more receptive to listening to your needs/pains etc when you are not arguing.
Good luck ...take a breath..and remember that your husband is why all this happened and it will all work out, as long as you tell him what you want rather than assuming he can read your mind. Men just dont do that. Women can though
Yep, I get it. Its not the
Yep, I get it. Its not the painting, its the fact that this always happens. This happened to me recently too. I asked to use a camera that was SD's, but she never uses it. What happens, the night I asked to use it SO gave it to her to use. She's used it 2 times in a year. Exactly a year. She took pics with it at christmas and she took pics at a game once for SS.
I use it a lot. You bet I told SO about it too. I don't care. Its just another slight in a long list of them. They don't get it.
On another note, LOVE burnt orange, I bet the tiling looks so good.
Thats why im so glad I bought
Thats why im so glad I bought my own home way before I met dh .....BUT I did not have kids, so when we got married and he moved in his kids got the big room that I always dreamed my future kids would have....But the first time BM started that I dont want my kids over there crap! I quickly used the opportunity to put thier little butts in that small room and took the big room back for OUR two boys ....although they are babies 1 month and 1 year they will grow up and they live there 24/7 so they have way more stuff! But I guess I know how my DH feels every time I shoot down his decorating ideas, like this is MY house not yours... (but he has no taste) he is starting to get a little though so i let him do a little bit here and there so he can feel like this is his home too
It was a power play. She
It was a power play. She might as well have lifted her leg on her dad and the house. XBF had one that would deliberately do that kind of thing to me. He and I were going to hang pictures in his living room. The walls had been empty for years and the art stacked in a closet. As soon as she got wind of that, it was all "Oh, Daddykins! I can help you do that!" Oh, but the innocent little angel didn't do anything wrong! :sick: :sick: :sick: She would do that kind of thing all the time and when my feelings were hurt I was the one with a problem. Daddykins just couldn't see why I had a problem with his little darling who was just oh-so-helpful and loving and beeeyooooteeefull! BLECH!