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Any Step Mums from Australia?

belle_27's picture

i know this has alot of US based step mums on the site..... just wondering how many aussies we have here? but interesting to get some contacts going for down here.

Smile

Comments

Maggi's picture

No doesn't look like there is.
I'm stepmum with two girls aged 4 and 7years old and one bio daughter aged 4 months.
They live with us full time.
What situation are others in??

AustMum's picture

I'm a younger step mum with one SD4, have been in her life since she was 2
BM and I get on fairly well now after a few issues to begin with! She's actually not a bad BM, there are a few things we don't approve of that she does but she has her rules in her house and we have ours and any big rules we discuss!
We try very hard to co parent as we have 50/50 with her. Dont really have too many issues at the moment which is nice Smile BM even admitted all her earlier issues were just jealousy LOL
My FDH & I have just started planning our wedding and are trying for our first baby next year(lol I'm a bit of a 'planner')

I think this site makes me put my situation in to perspective which can be very helpful when I get caught up on the small issues

At the moment life is pretty great but I know when there is ups there is downs!

Well that's me in a nut shell! Lol Smile

belle_27's picture

im a young step mum as well so i find it very hard to bond or work out my place in the family and where i fit in!

my partner is a great amazing guy but its a disneyland dad and doesnt want the poor kids to suffer when they are over and wants it to just be fun fun fun! which wil not help them in the long run and we do not see eye to eye on these issues at all. He thinks i just need to give it time and relax (after 2 1/2 years im over waiting for something different)

well i have a FSS 11 and FSD 9, we have them about 40% of the time but we live very close so they can come and go when they please without asking. They arent bad kids and arent rude to me or dispectful towards me i just feel nothing and they give me nothing back which i find so hard to deal with. BM wont even speak to me or make eye contact with me (i have been forbidden to attend any sporting/schools/kids party events). BM and FDH will only speak about parenting issues but same rules in each house haven't been set up and she will not communicate at all.

so i wish i had skids who kinda liked me and wasnt a forced helloe when i walked in the door! btw im pretty cool... and take a big interest into what they like and take them great places but still nothing.

be nice to walk in the door and have little people care!!

Maggi's picture

I'm a young step mum too. I have 2 stepdaughters- aged 4 and 7 and now a bio daughter aged 4months. My stepdaughters bio mother sees or speaks to them very little- well basically nothing at the moment. I met them when the 4 yr old was 18 months so she has no recollection of a mother/daughter relationship with her bio mum and the older ones recollections are definitely starting to fade.

It was definitely an instant family for me. Given their age they took to me so well and within a few months were wanting to call me mum. I spoke to BM about this and she was fine with it although that can change at times-Depending on her mood. Lol. My partner and their bio mum have shared parental responsibility but she chooses when she wants to play her part in this. When I came on the scene my partner and their bio mum had been split up for about a year or so but there was no CO's, no boundaries, things were messy and the kids had a lot of behavioural, social and emotional issues because of it. Needless to say things were extremely full on at the start.

At any time when their BM chooses to become part of their life again they have issues around it due to the fact that they feel like they don't know her. To cut a long story shorter things are fairly settled on the BM front at the moment and we have found a great solicitor who we can call on anytime the BM decides to throw a spanner in the works.

I recently had my first bio child and I am going through a lot of mixed feelings, confusion and anxiety at the moment. In our situation I thought we would blend like any non-blended family but my feelings are definitely not what I ever expected. I love my step-daughters so much and have come on this site to possibly help me work through some feelings......

stepmumof2's picture

I'm in Sydney, Australia.
Step Mum of 2, fairly new for me... (5months)
2 boys (5yrs and 2 yrs), its tough...i never thought it would be this difficult.
I am also engaged to my man - which for some silly reason I thought would actually make things easier? Bit dumb on my part i guess...
Financial issues, ex issues (all the time), family issues...the lists go on, pressure is massive right now.

If there's any other step mums that are in the sydney area that want somebody to lean on or relate to... please message me !!! Smile