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O/T Dissapointed that I am not Pregnant

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Fri, 04/15/2011 - 9:39pm

As some of you may now from my previous blog my stepson just said to me on Sunday in a very bratty and mean way that he hoped that I wasn't pregnant. I was hurt and angry after this since I knew it wasn't just him. The other week my mother in law told me that I shouldn't have another child, my husband and I have a 10mth old together, because I quote "it would be hard for my stepson" Forgive me but I dont' think how many children I get to have should be based on someone who is only here every other weekend and during the summer. Anyway.......Sunday when he said this it was even more suprising because I was already 3 days late. So fast forward its friday I'm 8 days late. I got tested this morning I'm not pregnant. I wasn't even trying to get pregnant so I don't understand why I am so disappointed but I am. I cried after my husband left for work. My husband doesn't want any more kids so I guess its finally hit me that I'll never convince him to have another child so this accedent may have been my last chance because of this scare he is talking about getting the snip. I know he doesn't want more then two kids, but I always wanted two and I feel like its not fair that I dont; get another child, that what I want doesn't matter because he had a son when he was 19 with a women he didnt even like and he was only with because she worked at dairy queen and gave him free chicken strips and put out. Plus I tired of the you knew what you were getting when you married a man with a child sh*t. Ya you know they have a child but there is no way to prepare for how hard it is. My child is my miracle and I am so sad I won't get to have another miracle.

Comments

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 6:42am

Thank you so much, thats what I needed right now was to not feel alone. I am so glad that I found this site, although I am sorry that so many of us have to feel this way.

Nette5's picture

Submitted by Nette5 on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 12:28pm

My DH had similar plans, 2 kids. BM1 took herself off birth control w/o telling DH and surprise... SS15 was born, then she took SS and moved out. I swear that BM2 saw that DH could reproduce and surprise... SD12 was born, she took SD and moved out. We get together and were together for 2 years (1 miscarraige) before we got married. Within 6 weeks of getting married surprise... BS7 came along. He was actually quite a surprise to both of us as I never thought I'd have kids.

Shortly after BS was born and DH says to me "I only wanted 2 kids". Without missing a beat I look him in the face and say: "what, 2 full time kids to go with the 2 part time kids we have?" WE HAVE 3 KIDS!!! Sadly we never got anymore (w/o b/c) and now I'm done because I'm not having 3 generations of 'only' children.

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 10:05pm

I am so sorry that he says things like that, they don't relize they hurt us. Thank you for sharing your experiances with me

ConfusedStep's picture

Submitted by ConfusedStep on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 6:07pm

Awww... I'm sorry your MIL and skid upset you like that. After I miscarried my babies in '09, my own grandmother said it was "for the best" because she wouldn't want my DH to ignore SD. First, my DH wouldn't do that. Secondly, this is a child who came about during our relationship and I should base my decision to have children on her "needs"?
Anyway, all I'm saying is that I understand why you're hurt. And who knows, you might just get that second LO - you never know. I have a precious 11 month old son now.

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 10:08pm

First I am so sorry about your miscarriage, I lost a child when I was 19, I didn't even know I was pregnant and then I lost it, I didnt know you could mourn something you didn;t even know. Also to have your own family say something like that not even an inlaw is incrediably hurtful. But I am so happy that you now have your own child and are happy, thank you so much for telling me your story.

ConfusedStep's picture

Submitted by ConfusedStep on Sun, 04/17/2011 - 3:00pm

Thanks. I still think about what they (twins) would be like but my son is awesome. It was just a horrible thing hearing family say that since she knew what I went through being in and out of the hospital, doing test and so on. It was a long hard process.
Your story just connected with me and made me remember how it felt. Hope you're feeling better now.

briarmommy's picture

Submitted by briarmommy on Sat, 04/16/2011 - 10:09pm

I am so sorry that he responded that like that to you, Thank you so much though for reaching out and showing me that I wasn;t alone, I truly appriciate this site and all of you that share and show me I am not alone

ConfusedStep's picture

Submitted by ConfusedStep on Sun, 04/17/2011 - 2:52pm

Good for you for sticking up for yourself. A lot of women don't and end up regretting it in the end. I like it when women know what they want and stick with it.

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Sun, 04/17/2011 - 8:29am

I feel sorry for only children. I feel that if you have at least 2 kids, it gives them a 'family' even after you are no longer there to care for them. There are a lot of benefits for both kids, to having the 2nd 'full time'! child. So maybe you can take this tack with your DH, and get him to agree to have one more.

Of course I don't have any kids, because I didn't get married til late, and did not want to have a child, without a husband. But these are my thoughts anyway!