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Life without the blend

Asher10's picture

Submitted by Asher10 on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:00am

I have to say while I miss having DAH around I am really adjusting well to life without the dramatics that come along with the stepfamily situation.I filed an RO against BM because she really wouldn't leave me alone.In one message she told me she is going to keep her eye on me for DAH in case i decide to start having men in his house.WTF?!This woman is looney.DAH has retained an attorney so he hasn't been communicating anything to me unless it's through the lawyer thank goodness.SD thought it would be cool to drop by my house over the weekend to visit with me.I told her she needed to leave and she threw a fit right there on my driveway.I didn't humor her fit.I slammed the door and waited for her to realize I wasn't coming back out to baby her.She ended up kicking my garage door and putting a dent in it before storming off to her ride that was waiting for her.Some nasty looking guy in a messed up car.
Did I mention i am happy I did this?I realize it was never going to get better.Anytime it seemed better it really wasn't.I was sweeping everything away to fool myself into thinking it was better.The situation was hopeless.love isn't enough in a stepfamily.

Comments

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:05am

Congratulations on the start of a new happier life for you! Smile

Maybe you should consider including a repair fee for your garage door in the papers. Wink

Thank God your STBX has a watchman. :sick: Does she really have nothing else to do? Maybe she should take up a hobby...like teaching her daughter to respect other people & their things.

Ugh. I guess with all of them keeping up their ass-like activity, it makes it easier to not miss them. LOL!

Asher10's picture

Submitted by Asher10 on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:08am

Thanks Storm!I too feel completely relieved for DAH that he has BM to be his watchdog.Somehow I think DAH knows nothing about her pathetic attempts to keep tabs on me.I feel this bundle of crazy is all her.i hope he knows messing with me will get him nowhere in court.I'm almost hoping she violates the RO and tries to break into my house or something so I can use it as an excuse to shoot her dumb ass.

Milomom's picture

Submitted by Milomom on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 9:40am

Hey Asher! Good to hear (read) an update from you.

So SD thought it would be "cool" to drop by your house and visit you over the weekend???? :? :? :? :?

Yeah, ok, I smell a rat right there. Does she know you have an RO against BM? If so, sounds to me like some kind of sick attempt to set you up again or something. Stay smart and always stay a step ahead of these psychos (BM & SD). As a matter of fact, the minute I saw SD kick the garage door, I would've written down the license plate # of the car she was being driven in and I would've called 911 to have the police come. At the very least, you'd have a police report of the incident.

Document, document, document - it is so vitally important and in the future, if & when it comes in handy, you will be SOOOOO glad you paid attention to all the details and GOT PROOF of it all.

The minute BM violates the RO, call 911 immediately and press charges. Do not even THINK about it, just do it. She deserves EVERYTHING she gets.

Stay strong and know that every time something dysfunctional like this happens...it just CONFIRMS you did the right thing. Too bad your DAH has his head so far up his ass about it all that he had to lose you because of it. What a total and complete MORON.

I agree with you and with what vickmeister said above: love isn't enough in a stepfamily situation. You have to look out for yourself, for your happiness and stay true to YOUR life & goals. Otherwise, you literally get torn to shreds in the process.

Think about what Katrinkie is going through now. She is a prime example of putting EVERYTHING you can into a stepfamily relationship/marriage, including love, and getting disrespected with every turn, no matter how hard you try. You simply have to put yourself FIRST and always remember the old Milomom mantra:

YOU WILL ONLY BE TREATED THE WAY YOU ALLOW YOURSELF BE TREATED.

Asher, I'm so PROUD of you for standing up for yourself (ending your relationship with DAH due to SD, BM and all the crap you've endured) and I think you're an amazing woman for everything you've gone through. Chin up, girl! Better times are ahead in your life and I'm excited for your future!

BellaMia's picture

Submitted by BellaMia on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 10:31am

A big, giant YAY for you! Peace of mind is priceless.

And I agree that love is NOT enough in a blended family. I don't believe love is EVER enough. It's important, but there are so many other things that are too and if they are not in place, the love is bound to fade...

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 11:15am

So glad to hear an update! I know you miss him. I'm sorry. But the rest of it is a relief!!! What the hell was ex-SD thinking coming to visit you. Is she that stupid? What made her think you even want to see her after everything that has gone on? It had to feel so good to tell her to go away and not have to deal with her anymore Smile

Auteur's picture

Submitted by Auteur on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 12:11pm

I'm with Vickmeister. There is no such thing as a "blended" family!!

I second the motion to include the repair bill of the garage door.

DASTBXH, BM and Stepdemon need to grow up. . .but not on YOUR watch of course!!! Wink

happymostly's picture

Submitted by happymostly on Thu, 04/14/2011 - 8:15pm

i am glad you updated us! My stbx H and I are split up too right now, he finally moved out his stuff last weekend and honestly, I AM SO HAPPY like you, I feel such a weight off me, like when things are crappy at work, i think about the bigger picture and I start smiling! I cant believe your sd did that your garage door though!