You are here

'Leave some for the kid...'

meneran's picture

Submitted by meneran on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 2:46am

It started lately with the 'Leave some of that for the kid' shit.
The kid comes eow. My bf buys me some chocolate or I buy myself. And while im eating, he says 'Leave some for the kid too'... or theres some juice, and he says 'oh i will leave this for the kid'.

I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK?

Am i supposed to leave every fucking thing in the house for the kid? He is here fucking 5 days a month! Am I supposed to put my life on hold?

When i had enough of these comments, i told him that. He got very angry, got in my face and said 'Dont ever talk to me about my kid like that again, or else'

This was enough for me. I am reconsidering sharing a life with this person. I am starting to HATE the kid, because of him.

Comments

BellaMia's picture

Submitted by BellaMia on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 7:56pm

A-damn-MEN!!! I wish my FH WOULD get in my face, as much as I do and sacrifice for HIS fucking kid...

meneran's picture

Submitted by meneran on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 6:54am

We buy food together. He maybe spends more on it. The problem is not that the kid eats everything, he doesnt let him eat much because he is now overweight.

The problem is that the sentence 'leave some for the kid' really pisses me off beyond belief. Should i, when i crave something thats already in the house, not eat it/drink it, just because the kid will appear in 2 weeks?

Ok, granted, this he said 3 times now, which was already enough to piss me off. And he did it with the -special products- that cant be bought in the supermarkets here.

But hey, should i leave everything in life for that kid? Especially something that bf bought TO ME.

The kid wont die if he doesnt try something special! HE wont even know it existed. WTF? Am i irrational?

alwaysanxious's picture

Submitted by alwaysanxious on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 10:53am

That is stupid. He'll be gone for 2 weeks? You can't save everything. DUMB DUMB DUMB. I'd laugh at him. And no, he'd not get in my face again.

giveitago's picture

Submitted by giveitago on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 8:55am

I'd have a calendar on the refrigerator that told me when the kid was coming, I'd suggest to SO that the food might spoil before then and let's enjoy it while it's fresh!!

Gwen's picture

Submitted by Gwen on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 9:49am

Yes, that's a ridiculous and unreasonable request and one that would make me livid. But ... I don't know that I jump to 'leave this guy' right away. He's got to learn to separate this type of issue from his dad guilt. Maybe he can and maybe he can't. Can you talk to him when things have calmed down and explain that your opinion doesn't have anything to do with how much you do or don't value his relationship with his son? Before we were married my DH used to knee-jerk into a defensive dad-guilt mode whenever I said anything suggesting that we treat the stepkids as kids and not as angels up on high but you know what? With some time and perspective he got over it and now he's a great (reasonable) dad and a great husband. Sometimes running is right, but sometimes you just gotta work through it. Dad-guilt is a pretty typical reaction. Think about the kind of mom-guilt you might carry in the same situation. It might manifest differently, but I bet there'd be something there. If he's a good guy, it's worth a try. Don't expect an immediate change though. It might take several conversations over time.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 2:06pm

Wow, my BF would feel right at home with some of you. He and I have gone at it so many times about food. He thinks his son 19, daughter 13 and my son 19 (mostly my son) eat too much & too often. As long as they aren't wasting the food, I don't care. We purchase food to eat, not put on display. He has gone so far as to hide food in our room. When I find it, I put it back in the kitchen.

Anywho78's picture

Submitted by Anywho78 on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 3:48pm

I agree with Gwen...my FDH went from an overly defensive/disney type dad to a guy who actually buys stuff specifically for me. He may need time to accept the fact that not everything is about his kid and that even if the kid lived there or if you had one of your own...you should still be allowed to have your own special treats.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 8:15pm

Stupid!! My dh has never done this-but ss13 has had issues with "saving" stuff. One time we went grocery shopping on a Saturday and bought a bag of cereal. SS was having a cow because he knew that everyone was going to eat it before he came back. Um, yeah, you wont be back for 2 weeks-all the kids like cereal-why would save a whole bag for you? I dont know about the rest of you but my pantry is pretty full already I dont have room to save a bunch of special items for ss and his twice montly visits. He can eat whatever everyone else is eating that weekend.

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Mon, 04/04/2011 - 8:34pm

"When i had enough of these comments, i told him that. He got very angry, got in my face and said 'Dont ever talk to me about my kid like that again, or else'"

And there's your sign.........the first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.