IN NEED OF HELP
:O
I got off of work yesterday only to find a letter in my mail box from my step-daughter the oldest (10)
to tell me that i need to watch my mouth when I am around her. I also dont need to be on the phone with my friends telling them what crazy crap her mother has done. My husband has always talked on speaker phone even to them and I guess they think I am wanting to listen all the time. But never been a problem until now in the letter it states: If i want to talk to you I would ask to speak to you. WHAT? seriously. I want to think the mom has something to do with this. This woman (mother) committed audltry with they're father (my husband) and got pregnant tried to pull the baby off as his and then went 3 years and then married the babies daddy that is also under the family violent act felon with his first babies momma. COME ON here guys this is trash and she is so disgusted with her life that she has to ruin mine. WHY go through the kids minds like that and turn them against me.
I spend alot of money on entertainment while we have the kids.
I have to buy clothes to provide for them while they are at my house.
I have to buy the shoes that they wear.
The mother does not send a bag with her kids, does not care that the kids are wearing 2 sizes to small shoes just to spite us. SERIOUSLY???
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I think I can tell you from
I think I can tell you from experience that kids don't get the full picture. It's confusing about how to feel towards your parents sometimes. My parents were abusive and I would defend them and try and make reasons and excuses for it. I didn't think it was ok, I didn't like it, but I wanted to love them. Your SDs mom may be a complete jerk, and is some ways SD probably feels this reflects on her. So you should probably sit down with SD and let her know you didn't mean to hurt her and that if she is embarrassed or hurt by your discussions about her mother then you will refrain from doing that. She did think enough of you to write a letter and ask you, even if she may not know how to phrase it in the best way. Just make sure she is respectful of you and DH. If she is rudely TELLING you how to behave, you need to explain to her that she needs to talk to you and not attempt to order you around. You are the adults. She thinks enough of you that she assumes you will listen to her. Vent about her mom when she isn't around to friends. One day SD will probably see the light for herself and see that none of this reflects upon her.
If you think the letter is from BM, I would still approach SD and ask her how she feels. BM doesn't matter if she is acting like a jerk, but SD should be given benefit of the doubt.
The husband and i have been
The husband and i have been arguing all day
1st
3rd
5th
weekend trips is when hes see the children
They have changed so much in the 4 years.
and I feel that it will only get worse.
It's definitely from the BM
It's definitely from the BM and she is pulling the puppet strings. I would completely ignore the letter, but file it away to show that the BM is giving SD10 "adult spousal status" and making her a go-between.
BM is obviously PASinating at a rapid pace here. Watch your back!
What does DH think? HOpefully he can see through this bullshit and be supportive (aka a united front)
I also like the idea of the conference by Stephanie. Someone needs to tell her that the BM doesn't make the rules at your house. BM's rules are hers and you have your own.
Coming up next. . . Stay tuned as BM starts to call CPS on every little thing that happens at biodad and SM's house. . .
that CPS has happened several
that CPS has happened several times
and MY husband cant understand why NOW
i want him not to work on Saturdays as he normally does 5-10am and also me taking them to school every other monday
because is something is said and its not true
WHO IS GOING TO BELIEVE ME RIGHT?
The husband and i have been
The husband and i have been arguing all day
1st
3rd
5th
weekend trips is when hes see the children
They have changed so much in the 4 years.
and I feel that it will only get worse.
Yep it's gonna get worse.
Yep it's gonna get worse. They are going to start lying to please the BM and calling CPS. Sounds like your DH is less than supportive. If he doesn't see reason by a third party like a counselor, then I'd start planning ye olde exit plan.
It was about 4 years into it when GG started weaning skids off of "Disney dad" that the same sorts of things started happening. . at the time the ages were SS11, SD9 and SS5. They are manipulative, spoiled, entitled and narcissistic; they were well trained this way by the Behemoth and Godsgift.
I would say that you do need
I would say that you do need to watch what you say about BM to anyone, even if you're talking on the phone with a friend, when you have the skids. I know it can be hard. My SDs live here full-time so I usually save my BM related rantings for when there asleep or out of the house.
I would have a talk with BM if I were your DH about boundaries and if he sees any more letters like this he'll be saving them for court.
Yes you definitely can't
Yes you definitely can't trash the BM in front of the children or you're falling to her level.
Watch your back and I would refuse to be alone with them due to "stories" that they can make up.
You've probably heard the old "i don't get to spend much time with my children so when they're here I want them to be able to do what they want" (read: no discipline, respect, boundaries for anyone, especially you)
or
"I don't want to make waves with the BM b/c it might affect the children"
She has us in court every
She has us in court every time the wind blows i have recordings omg.. she is so vandictive.
$$$ is her passion.
she is a struggling hair dresser. Lived in a low income base apt setting, found a guy to marry her in Feb 2011
and now living in a subdivision and driving a new truck
material crap
my husband pays $200 a week in cs
alway wanting more. Just got a letter from lawyer a week ago over 12.50 to the school that she is making us pay.
THis type of stuff never
THis type of stuff never ends. The Behemoth, although having three FAILING children of her own, is now hosting FOSTER children for the money. She's a CPS worker by trade but her children are budding felons and she couldn't care less. She wants to be able to blame all her and her children's problems on the divorce. When her kids fail in life she'll be able to say "that damn ex husband of mine is the resaon for this!"
It's an easy cop out for lazy parenting.
And she is mega greedy. Raided all three children's college funds to pour money down her pipe dream sink hole of being a caterer. The woman can't even COOK!!
What happens is then DH misplaces his anger and issues that he should be confronting the BM about onto SM. Nice, eh?
Never again for me. NEVER a man with children. Sorry to be such a downer.
I guess I'm not real sure how
I guess I'm not real sure how to handle that one. My first response would be to stop buying or doing anything for her if that is how she plans to talk to me. She can do without what I provide. I also though try not to say anything about the skids mom in front of them, but accidents happen.
"DH to grow a set of balls
"DH to grow a set of balls and set BM and SS straight"
Good luck with THAT!!! (snicker)
We talked last night and I am
We talked last night and I am going to sit back and watch what he does. We meet her tonight at 6pm in town to get the girls. They are suppose to be dropped off by ME as usual on MONDAYS to school.
Yes I drop them off every other monday to school where the husband can have just a few more hours with them and tuck them in one more night but he leaves at 5am and doesnt see them off. Its me getting my 3 kids up to the bus then taking his 2 20 mins away just to school then 25 mins to my job everyother monday. I dont want to sound selfish if i didnt care i would not do it. But I feel un-appreciated I am hurt because I deep down dont know what the SD"S are being told. one is 10 and the other is 7 and its great when they are over to the house. But we provide entertainment. I would love it to. I am just going to sit back and see what he does and how the weekend goes. PRAY FOR ME!! i dont want my marriage failing because a 10yr old wants her parents back together. ( bm already re married feb 2011)
has a son age 3 with this man. So i can see hatred on both parties if i was a child here is a lil girl that is growing up becoming older trying to understand how her parents marriage failed. and ME being step mom i guess its easier to lash out on me when she is only over there 4 days a month.
And your right i have to make
And your right i have to make them talk.
Well our fight last night was I TOLD him the same thing alt. work schedule or take them home at 8 sunday evenings.
Same amount of time...
He told me off... then came back and said it was selfish of him to rely on me to do that. he thought i liked it.
I like it when I am being appreciated for what i do.
I dont want a metal just be respected
I will see tonight how he fixes this
You know, I have often
You know, I have often thought how great it would be to have Super Nanny at our house for a month to follow us around and observe. I would love for everythign to do dissected and discussed along with a video to watch of the behavior etc....