Not keeping SS12 during the summer.....I'll go on a summer long vacation first.
BEFORE Dh and I were married, I established clear boundaries that unless he was taking off work or using vacation time, I would not keep skids during summers ( I work from home). Although his divorce gives him the right to keep them 6 weeks out of the summer. As I gently explained BEFORE we were married the agreement you made with BM was just that.....between you and BM and I don't do babysitting.
So it has never been a problem until now.....he is suppose to let BM know my April 1st the date he wants skids....usually he just gets them one week and takes off work to do it.
So today he says to me....."Ss12 doesn't mind just hanging out with you while I'm at work"
I just look at him and say " we had an agreement years ago, and we aren't going to change it now."
" well he really wants to spend time with me"
" dh, you work until 7 which means he will be with me"
Now DH rarely gets upset about things and we have only had 2 or 3 arguments ever....
The tension is very thick around here now......I'm just annoyed about it and no that kid is not coming for summer unless Dh is taking vacation tiime.
BTW he mom is a school teacher and is off in the summer....what's the deal, she should keep her child.
Just annoyed
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And here's the kicker....this
And here's the kicker....this will be the first summer ever my bio kids will not be here for most of it. My father is taking them to Washington D.C and then to Europe for most of the summer.......if DH thinks I'm keeping his Satan spawn he is nuts....I'm getting pissed just thinking of the nerve of him even mentioning it.
Sorry DH , NO WAY!!! An agreement is an agreement!!!
Tell your DH that while you
Tell your DH that while you don't leave your home to work - it is still work and you do not have take your child to work every day for the summer plan at your job - wth is wrong with these men - I would bet a million dollars that the BM wants SS12 gone for the summer - tough crap - of course it would be great for both of them - you get the kid all day till 7PM telling you how bored he is all day and DH and BM get a pass - tell DH to look back at the agreement and not screw with you!!!
With all that Ive gone thru
With all that Ive gone thru as a blended family, and reading the shit that others are going thru, Im starting to wonder if this is even feasible.
It seems like the ex always takes priority because of the kids they share. I'm tired of being on the back burner. Where's the loyalty towards me?
In my case DH doesn't worry
In my case DH doesn't worry about BM....it's SS12....the other 3 of his kids have been badly PASed to the point they don't even speak to us.
He wants to save his last kid , which I empathize with that. However, TAKE OFF WORK!!! It's just not right these men get off with trying to drop the responsibility on the SM's.
I'm not trying to be harsh, but we will get divorced before Im responsible for his child. ( and it's my home, I've owned years before I met him) at the end of the day the agreement we made before we were married will be kept.
Snarky, I set that boundary before we were married because from being around the 4 skids when we dated, they behaved like spoiled, selfish , brats.....I KNEW there was so way I was babysitting, doing drop offs or pick ups, and didn't want my name at the school, as I would not be picking them up EVERl
I think one of the worst feelings is resentment and I hate the feeling....I thought it was better to put it all out there, then agree to help with the brats and be pissed off all the time.
I can say, had I been responsible to watch those ingrates, or pick them up/ drop off.....I would be DIVORCED by now.
That's like my DH making an
That's like my DH making an agreement with BM "I'll watch SS while your at work". Well that was before she changed jobs and before he did to. Now she still wants to hold him to it. 3 days on 3 days off....but he works out of town for 6 days straight then 2 off. So guess who ends up having to watch him...yup u guessed it me!! (only 86 days till hes's 18)
I've told Dh to change this b/c its not fair to me, I have to rearrange my schedule for all of them. which is straight BS. but he always says "well what do you want me to do?" or my fave "We'll figure something out". yeah right
BM tried to get DH and I to
BM tried to get DH and I to take skids the entire summer once. I was at home with my 2 under age 3 at the time. BM thought since I was home anyway I might as well have her 2. DH thought it was a good idea. I said "sure", if she pays us what we pay her in CS for the 10 weeks they will be here. Neither one of them ever brought it up again.