Supervised...of course. :sick:

However, supervised by BM's mom & stepdad, & it was plenty private. We were supposed to have gone to their house Saturday so DH could help SS work on his POS (what BM calls the car she gave SS for his 16th birthday). Since that time, she has always had some reason for why she couldn't get him into driver's ed to get his learners. He can't open a bank account because she won't take him to get his state ID. She's terrified to give him wings because she knows as well as everyone else that once he flies, he ain't comin' back! Friday night, SS called DH & told him we'd have to make it Sunday instead. Apparently BM's landlord scheduled a walkthrough on their house. They've been there 2 years & the landlord wanted to make sure things were in order. They're allowed 2 outside dogs. They currently have 4 adult dogs, one of which had a litter of 12 puppies 4 months ago, but to date only 3 have survived. They also have a collection of cats. BM & SD were "sick" & in bed, so BM kept SS out of school Friday so he could do the cleaning for the walkthrough. When he called DH Friday night, he was taking a break from cleaning carpets. So, they decided we'd go up Sunday instead.

SS called DH around 4:00pm Saturday. Said the landlord had come by & made comment on all the animals in the house. I'm not sure what came of it, but SS was calling to verify that we'd be at BM's mom's house around 10:00 Sunday morning. He didn't talk long. He said he was going to bed until his grandpa came to pick him up around 7:00pm. He'd been up all through the night Friday & all morning Saturday cleaning & was beat. When DH asked if BM or SD helped him at all, he said no, that they were sick & had stayed in bed even Saturday until the landlord came.

So, we went out Sunday morning. We stopped at Advance Auto on the way to pick up the serpentine belt that DH needed for the car. We had a great morning. SS was quiet when he first came out. I think we were all a bit anxious, but once things warmed up & he started getting involved in the repairs with DH, it went really well. We laughed & joked. We didn't discuss anything about court or BM. BM's mom & stepdad were home, but we were across the field by the garage & they stayed in the house for the most part. She came out to see if we wanted breakfast or something to drink. He brought a chair & magazine out for me & offered to have me come inside. I declined. I am leery of them still, & for the benefit of both DH & myself, we agreed before we went that where he was, I would be. That way if anything were to happen or if they claimed to say something happened, there would be a witness on our behalf. Not to mention, I went to spend time with SS...not BM senior.

They got the belt on...finally. It's a 95 Nissan & the motor sits in it sideways. DH has big hands, so it was a pain & took awhile. In the process, he told SS, "You'd better hope the waterpump doesn't go out on this 'cause you have to take the whole thing apart to get to it. You'd have to take it in somewhere to get it fixed." He got it all back together & started it up, and...the new belt was smoking. The problem??? Yep...the waterpump was bad, so the pulley was locked up. So, DH & SS proceeded to take everything apart again. It was almost 1:30pm by the time they had it ready for the new one, so DH & I were leaving to hit the nearest Advance Auto for a new waterpump. As we were backing out, SS came running up behind the car yelling at DH. He said BM & SD had just pulled in. He was excited for DH to be able to see SD, so we got out of the car & SD came running over & gave both of us big hugs & told us she'd missed us & loved us. BM stood across the field on the porch shooting flames from her eyeballs. I waved to her & she didn't flinch. Whatever. Her daughter hugged me & she loves me & misses me. }:) EAT IT BM!!! DH asked if they'd be there for awhile & she said they would, so we went ahead & left to get the part.

We were gone for about 30 minutes & low & behold when we got back, BM & SD were gone. BM's mom said they'd been to Walmart & had ice cream in the car so they had to leave. She expressed her disapproval of BM dropping in unannounced & stated that she has tried to explain to BM that she needs to not make this about her & that the kids need their dad in their lives. Her & her husband both made remarks about her crappy parenting skills, her crappy cooking skills "unless you count microwaving frozen dinners" (per grandpa...lol), the fact that she let SD14 get piercings in her lip & her nose, & that she buys hers & SD's clothes too small. Most of the comments were about her lack of parenting. I have to be truthful & tell you I was EATING IT UP!!! }:) I did feel kind of bad, though, because SS was standing there as all of these comments were being made. DH & I didn't add anything. We felt their comments were more than sufficient.

Anyway, they finally got the waterpump on. DH brought a spare battery with us, so he put that in the car long enough for us to get SS behind the wheel for a little while to teach him how to drive it. (It's manual.) BM's mom let us take him (unsupervised) to the church parking lot up the road from them to drive. We stayed for about an hour. It really was a lot of fun.

When we took him back, it was time for us to head home so we could get our dogs outside. We thanked BM's mom & stepdad for having us over & they said we were welcome anytime. SS gave us each a hug. BM's mom re-stated that they feel the kids need to have time with "us". SS thanked DH & gave him another hug & turned to go inside to take a shower. BM's stepdad stopped him as soon as he turned & said, "SS, stormabruin took her day to come spend with you too. You owe her a thank you & another hug." SS didn't hesitate. He didn't huff or scowl. He smiled & told me thank you & gave me another hug.

I came into work yesterday to a FB friend request from SS. He called DH last night to ask if we'd meet them at MIL's house this coming weekend. They miss her & BM's mom said she'd bring them. We're excited about that.

I came into work this morning to a FB friend request from SD, & a thank you for coming to see them.

I still keep having to remind myself that there is still plenty of opportunity for this to crash & burn, but it's really hard to not just jump into it leaving worries aside.

There is still work to be done on the car. DH took the alternator with us when we went to get the waterpump. Turns out it's bad, as well as the thermostat & brakes. The head gasket is shot & the car has nearly 248,000 miles on it. It will likely blow in the first year of SS driving it. However, we don't have money to get him anything else. I'm pissed that BM gave him this car in the condition it's in. She got it free, most likely because the person who gave it to her knew it was a money pit. It is, however, giving DH & SS a good teaching/learning experience, & it's the only hope SS has to become mobile on his own. He'll be 18 in 3 more months & without a running vehicle he has no hope of breaking free from the spot BM is trying to keep him in, under her thumb.

Given the conversation with BM's mom Sunday, I really believe that her desire & willingness to help DH see his kids comes from a looming fear of knowing that if DH doesn't help his kids, she will be stuck supporting them as well as she is her going-on-40 daughter & 35-year old son. Unforseen circumstances have limited their income in the last couple of years, & I think she's just really trying to ensure that she doesn't end up with 2 more ticks thriving on her.

But...whatever the reason, she seems to be working for us.