My DH's solution to this is "You will eat what I serve you, or you won't eat." Another thing we do sometimes is "You eat what we cook, or you cook for yourself." 10 times out of 10 the kids would rather eat what we cooked, than go hungry or make food themselves.

OK, he either eats what you eat or goes hungry.

There is no way on this earth I am pandering to a kids picky habits unless it is life threatening like an allergy.

Simply tell him he eats what you eat or goes without. If he complains remind him that in the past few months you have exclusively bought what he says he will eat and then he changes his mind. Consquently you have a freezer full of half eaten meals.

My OSS hates cheese .... unless it is on pizza or in a cheeseburger. It I put it in a pasta bake dish he would gag and pretend to throw up. Of even pick the cheese off the top of it or refuse to eat. WHATEVER! I gave up in the end esp. when he decided he liked Mac and Cheese in a box. The way he went on anyone would think I was giving him cheese poisoning (like Ralphy and soap poison).

my ss9 is like this. he will eat something all the time and then one night its "oh i don't like it". we've adopted the "you will eat what we make" attitude; if he doesn't he is forbidden to snack until the next meal. if he HAS to have a snack, it is the leftover whatever he didn't eat at the meal.

From a picky eater... buy a couple boxes of cereal & stop worrying about it. Growing boys are like locusts they can always find something to eat.

Make sure you are actually buying the things he likes. All brands are not the same. My MIL hates that if I don't like it, I won't eat it. Yet, she doesn't buy the things she asks me about. For example, I like plain ole Campbell's tomato soup. So, MIL buys this fancy homemade Tomato bisque with all these veggies & stuff in it & is all excited. She doesn't understand why I won't eat it.

I agree that you shouldn't pander to him. He sounds like an attention seeker who is trying to use food and mealtimes as a way of exerting control, and pandering to him will just encourage him to carry on acting like a brat so you and your dh need to be strict with him. My 3 skids were the same and it was a nightmare. Dh has always been very strict and has a take it or leave it rule. If they whined that they didn't like their meal, he would make it clear that that was it and there wasn't anything else on offer. If they didn't eat it they didn't get any dessert and no snacks till the next meal. He also had a time limit - if they said they didn't want it, he told them clearly there was nothing else, leave the meal on the table for 15-20 minutes and throw it in the bin if they didn't attempt to eat it. If they whined later that they were hungry and wanted their meal, he told them they'd had their chance and it was too late, and that there would be no snacks till the next meal. We had a lot of tantrums and wasted food, but it worked and they now eat their meals without any fuss. We wouldn't give them something we know they genuinely dislike, as everyone has their likes and dislikes, but apart from odd things we know they don't like, they're expected to eat what's put in front of them without argument.

Your ss is old enough to learn how to cook basic stuff, and he might enjoy the food more if he's had some involvement in preparing it. My ss14 loves cooking and will make meals for the family, sometimes on his own or sometimes with guidance from dh or me if it's something he hasn't done before. Your ss is also of an age where he could help with the shopping and have some input, as long as he doesn't have too much control over what you buy and eat.

While we're strict over picky eating, skids BM is the opposite and panders to their every whim. If the 3 of them want different things, she'll make 3 different meals. She's a typical guilty non custodial parent and she has no rules at her house. They misbehave for her far more than they misbehave for us, so in our case it proves that having firm rules does make a difference.