O/T: No Mom, Dad is Not Going to Die
So my mother pissed me off this week, but I didn't want to let her know because she was already so worked up and she wouldn't have understood.
My father works abroad. My stepmother lives with my sisters and brother abroad as well, but my father works in a neighboring country. Recently, the country and city that my stepmom and sibs live in has come under some crazy times. My father wasn't there when it all went down because he was at work. I told my mom that he would probably go back to be with the family, and she got upset and said that he couldn't go back because his job wouldn't let him. Well, lo and behold my father went back to be with his family. No shit, and that's what he SHOULD do. Well my mother came to me BAWLING because she was so worried about my dad being there.
You know, I understand that my parents have a very close and unusual relationship for divorced people. But really mom? Are you so absorbed in your own feelings that 1) You don't realize that the other people who HAVE BEEN in that country are still MY FAMILY and I love them and you are only worrying now that dad is there??? What about my sisters who are only toddlers? Dad is a grown man, and I'm damned happy that they at least have him to protect them now! 2) You don't even stop to think that you have NO understanding of the situation in that country and have no real reason to fear for his life, but I regularly follow the news there even when it's not this crazy time and if I had any suspicion that my family were in danger I would be freaking out... UGGGH Sorry. My mom just really gets so worked up and cries and cries like a child. I love my mother with all my heart, but I hate it when there's no consoling her with reason. Then the next day she started in on, "Well he probably needs to get back to work so he won't lose his job. He can't stay there for too long." Really? Why would she even say that to me? She supposedly knows my dad "better than anyone," but I know him well enough to know that hell and high water could come with his job, but if he doesn't feel that it's safe to leave his family he won't. I know he'd do the same for me and my mother.
Anyway, interesting twist to this: my dad is trying to get visas for my stepmom and sisters (my brother already has U.S. citizenship) so they can come stay in the U.S. for the duration of this uncertain period. If they get said visas, guess who they'll probably stay with? My mother.
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Your SM and siblings will
Your SM and siblings will live with your mother? Wow that is a unique situation. Beyond blended I would say. Isn't it ALMOST like he is married to both of them? I hope the best for your entire family and that those in danger stay safe and that your mom finds some calm in this storm...not just for her, but for your sanity as well.
Thank you. Yes, it is
Thank you. Yes, it is ridiculously weird and it IS almost like he's married to them both. Eww.
I think she's a little calmer now that he's been there about a week and he's still alive and well. Even though the situation appears to be getting better, I'm actually more nervous about it than I was before. I would like them to come here for the time being.
Freaking out over everything
Freaking out over everything has led her to have a stroke already, in her mid thirties. Relaxing is important. Venting is important for relaxing. Maybe if she had other drama queens to vent to she would be more relaxed?
Alas, they'd probably just feed off each other like you said. She's super paranoid, too. I feel bad for my stepmother if she ends up coming here.
Well I blame my father a
Well I blame my father a little for the difficulty right now. I've been telling him to get their U.S. Citizenship papers filed since my sisters were born, but he's always too busy. Now that there's this unrest, a lot of Americans are in the same boat trying to get visas for family members and it's just that much more difficult for them, especially since they've already pulled out a lot of staff at the U.S. Embassy.
But yes, the system makes it terribly difficult. I know there are reasons for it, but I wish honest people didn't have to get caught up in all the red tape. Hopefully their companies will help them get the paperwork through (my uncle's company did this).
I have no idea how it would work out with my mom, but I know my stepmom is super nice and almost a little naive-seeming due to cultural differences. My mom wouldn't do anything mean to her and I bet they'd actually get along, so oddly enough the situation might actually work out alright somehow-- but it just seems wrong to me. If she (my stepmom) was born and raised in America, there's no way in hell.
I remember my parents getting
I remember my parents getting passports for both of my younger brothers through embassies and consulates when they were born.
Of my parent's children I am the only one born domestically. Like you, I am California native though I have only lived in the state a total of 2yrs in my entire life. The first year after I was born and a year for work when I was in my 30s.
I am sure your dad will get your sibs passports successfully.
Hang in there.
Thank you. I'm glad you guys
Thank you. I'm glad you guys get along well enough to open your homes to one another when there is a need. Sometimes circumstances just overrun feelings of what's acceptable.
My parents stayed over seas
My parents stayed over seas during the first Gulf War. My brother and I left the day before we invaded Iraq to head back to school. We had visited them for Christmas.
It was amazing how ridiculous people were over the idea that my parents did not leave the region during Desert Shield and Desert Storm. Family members, friends, etc...
My brother and I would occasionally call mom and dad to tell them that missiles were on their way toward my parent's home based on CNN live reports. On several occasions we would wake our parents, which they were not too happy about, to tell them Skuds were on the way. We could hear the Patriots firing while we were on the phone with them and when the missiles would intercept my parents said that the whole house would shake.
Pieces of Skud and Patriot missiles rained down on my parent’s home. They have several pieces of missile that they picked up in their yard.
The first time we called dad was giving us crap for waking them up when the BOOM occurred. Dad replied "Yep, the Skuds are here". "Give us a call the next time you know that they are on the way". So we did.
It really was not a huge deal, at least for my mom and dad. They both grew up in the region and experienced various periods of unrest. Many expats that they worked with at that time were freaking out about how "Sadam is trying to kill me!". My parents called them on their ridiculous crap. Many people evacuated on their own initiative. Several companies would not allow those people to return.
Your dad is a good man for joining his family during the current unrest. Once things settle down I am confident that your mom's concerns will be proven to be unfounded.
Good luck to your family in getting their visas ironed out.
Best regards,
You know, listening to you on
You know, listening to you on here, I'm so very not surprised to hear that about your parents! They sound like hardy people. My grandpa is like that. Unfortunately, most of my family takes after my grandmother, who is incredibly kind-hearted but also an incessant worrier.
I'm a bit torn on whether or not to be worried about the situation there, but I feel a lot better knowing that my dad is with the family. I would still like them to come to the U.S. for now because my father cannot stay indefinitely (plus they've never been here and I think it would be fun to show them around!); he will have to go back to work at some point or risk losing his job. I don't think he would be so set on having them come here if he lived there with them, but since they are on their own most of the time he (and all of us) would be much more at ease knowing that they're in a stable country.