Plz what will help?
Okay well, Yesturday I found out that my SS14 is grounded at his ncp's. So, every wknd except the first wknd of the month he is allegedly grounded. :jawdrop: WE HAVE NEVER HEARD OF EITHER CHILD BEING ON PUNISHMENT THERE! I guess he was "caught" smoking cigarettes once, and his bm made him Clean her house for a day or something,however he does chores daily at home,so how is that punishment? WE only found that out because the bm posted her entire journal on Facebook! So, things are happening there that we SHOULD be aware of but NEVER are. Whenever we had tried in the past to notify bm of kids' behavior,we were left w/bs comments and remarks that would lead to much more that allthough we do not give up on raising the children how we feel to be right,we have since stopped all update communications w/bm and in all honesty the kids have been just fine. It's at their mommyfriend place that they are screwing up! However....I found out my SS14 actually was Busted STEALING!!!!!! he and his friend stole a purse out of a car in the town his bm lives in! I am shocked that he did something like that! He is a smart kid,straight A's,He IS respectful, cause he knows better and he doesn't lie,(how I found out in the first place) Now I am worried about anything else that we are in the dark about!? I beleive we should be informed of what goes on or whenever something goes on especially something like this!my SS9 didn't know why his older brother was grounded and once he found out he said,Does it matter?Y should dad know everything that goes on at mom's? REALLY simply does not make any sence to me, how any responsible caring parent could feel that way. :? Keeping secrets like that don't help anyone........ so, how do I get proof of this for our next court date,SS WANTS tp live there........ since he "changed his mind" and all. will having him write it all out help?
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I feel that information needs
I feel that information needs to be passed back and forth, even if I have a hard time remembering to do it in a timely manner (we became CP to SS15 last May).
The reason we are the CP now is because SS15 was caught Sexually Abusing BS7 (then 5, Spring 2009). We are the ones who called the Dr and took BS in, which got the police involved and eventually got SS into treatment.
The actual horror story part of all this is that SS was 'caught' in 2006 Sexually Abusing his half brother at his BM's house and she DID NOTHING and TOLD NO ONE, especially us who have 2 of SS's half siblings here.
Long story short: a total of 7 victims(3 are his half siblings), PLUS SS is a victim of Sexual Abuse AND SHE KNEW about SS being a victim!!! She lied to our faces about any knowledge of SS abusing anyone, until we got to court and learned that she KNEW about SS abusing his brother at her house.
If BM had been honest, then SS would NOT have been able to Sexually Abused SD(12now) AND BS7. SS could've gotten HELP when he needed it the most and the little sh!t who abused SS, and told him to go do it to others, could've gotten help.
The thing I have come to realize is that she was so afraid to 'lose' SS, that she lied and hid the truth, we lost SS for a while, and our kids lost their innocence because of SS's BM's lying.
Yes, BS and SS are living in the same home.
Yes, there are big rules to follow.
Yes, treatment helped SS with the Sexual Abuse AND the PAS she was doing to SS.
Yes, SS is on probation and in counseling.
Yes, BS got help and is still getting help.
Yes, DH and I got counseling.
Yes, BM lost complete contact with SS for a while and is working on gaining contact with SS.
Yes, we had a HUGE bill and continue to pay Probation for SS's actions.
No, SS and SD canNOT see each other at this time. SD's BM was beyond pissed and I don't blame her. If we had known sooner, we would've stopped it like we did for BS.
No, I didn't tell you this to scare you, but to let you know why I feel communication so important. Now when I talk to SD's BM, I spill as much updates on things as I can. This has helped SD's BM to trust us again and we see SD when SS is gone for school stuff or to his BM's house.
Sorry to invade your blog!!!
aprreciated. no need for
aprreciated. no need for sorry. you have certainly opened my mind up to a whole new insight. I thanku for helping me to see a bigger picture and perhaps my fiance,BD to my SSs, can also will as well. Sounds like your hands are pretty full sorry that those terrible things have happened to the children in your lives for really no apparent reason besides being selfish and stupid.Good for you's for getting all the help with counseling.
My youngest SS9 accidently slipped about his cousin showing her chest (age6) while they were playing in the woods at NCP.when it was bought up via tex.BM lashed out said we were lying and SS was scolded because apparently what happens there.....
Same kid 2 yrs ago was caught touching my nephew inapropprietly his grandma delt with it.I hope we didn't mess up by not doing more.!
We knew that SS was a
We knew that SS was a 'touchy' kid and liked to hug his half sister here, and we tried to limit their physical touching, but apparently we failed because SS Sexually Abused SD in our home for about 3 years, neither said a word and both hid it REALLY well.
We took SS to a counselor in the summer of 2006 because we had some concerns but the counselor told us to get SS his own room and TALK to the kids. So we did talk to them regularly, in fact I'm thinking it was about once a month.
I believe that BS was able to speak up because he'd been hearing these talks frequently while he was still little. I'm the type of parent who calls a penis a penis, not by any other names.
Talk to your SS about right and wrong touching. There are books at the libraries that are geared towards any age group. There are lots of ways to get information on how to talk to children about things, don't hide from it because it could get worse. We don't feel we hid from anything, we were lied to and that stopped any positive progress for us.
I truly wanted and was ready
I truly wanted and was ready to make "that LEAP" in order to make sure my SS's bm was notified or at least informed with her son's behaviors. AND wouldn't you know it,if the 14yr old doesn't throw a SHOCKER,like he did on us on 01-27....NOW,due to the lack of or poor communicatin between both bioparents AND then of course, her Whole family against me(well at least the loosers on FB that choose to run their mouths) The bm refuses to communicate by any means.....So, if and when we have the chance to update her on this situation with her son,like he says,"she will never believe"YOU" and I am the one here promoting the dangon communication! :?