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feelings hurt-just to get it out

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 8:11am

ok, so i have a DECENT not great but decent relationship with my skids. We were at a movie rental place shortly after picking them up for the weekend. I just noticed in the store what my skids were wearing (normally dress like rag dolls) my yougest sd had an outfit on that looked REALLY NICE on her, and i told her...sd that looks REALLY good on you (meant it sincerely). she stuck her tongue out at me and said ugh and walked away :jawdrop: . i told her loud enough for dh to hear (but he didn't) that was really rude! i texted him about it, and shut myself off to her until she apologized. her sister told me in the store, she's not used to compliments (she's not, she's a tom boy and really doesnt' care how she looks). but in my opinion that's no excuse to be rude. so dh pulls me aside in the bedroom and asks what happened. So i told him, he stepped out, and told her that it was rude and told her to apologize, i was still in the bedroom and she yells throughout the house (I'M SORRY) i'm like, is that REALLY acceptable? i told dh later i didn't believe that should've been acceptable, she should at least pull me aside and tell me to my face. so i told dh how i felt about her heartless apology and he agreed it was not acceptable and would talk to her, he waited until my dd and i left to spend 1 on 1 time yesterday, and never got it from her. I mentioned it to dh....and well.........probably not going to happen.

i know it's not a big deal, but she was a brat all weekend long even dh agreed. They called after going home last night to say they wanted to come spend the day with dh today (why even go home then???)...yeah, almost as soon as they walked in the door this morning, i left for work (early early early purposly) and for some strange reason, i got my hopes up to come home and skids would still be there (6 is the norm for them) but dh asked while i was on the phone with him what time they'd be going home.......3:30.....well f it, i didn't want to spend any time with them this afternoon ANYWAY. told dh i'll quit getting my hopes up and just start caringless.

thanks for letting me vent i'm just more shocked that my dh didn't make sd apologize to me more sincerley (he doesn't usually allow them to be rude to me)

Comments

Asher10's picture

Submitted by Asher10 on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 8:21am

I had to laugh reading this I'm sorry!It's not funny at all but it does remind me of the way I used to be when people would say something nice to me.I didn't know how to handle it and being tough and snooty was the only way I could accept praise.
Your DH should have been more on the ball with that apology though.The girl needs to be taught it's ok to accept when someone says something nice about your appearance.It's ok to be soft instead of tough all the time.A lot of times when girls have low self esteem they have a really hard time making themselves vulnerable by accepting when someone says something nice about them.

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 8:29am

i agree 100% (she just doesn't know how to accept a compliment cause she's not used to it) but the reason i didn't take matters into my own hands because there's been some major conflict in doing that, and kiddo's (and us) have liked it better with me not giving them permission for squat because that also gave me right to dicipline which was becoming a problem.

I kind of disengage when they are around because everytime i figure a schedule that will work for everyone it NEVER goes as planned and i'm put on the back burner, so i told my dh, that the less involved i am with them and the less i care about what they do and when they come over the less hurt i feel. so i'm disengaging.

she did ask me why i wasn't really talking to her, i told her because i don't like to play with rude kids....no hints were taken

somerg's picture

Submitted by somerg on Mon, 01/17/2011 - 8:31am

o and my dh did give her the same treatment....she LOVES LOVES LOVES dragon's and CONSTANTLY drawing them. she came to him that night, showed him a picture she JUST drew, and it was good, but he just goes nice in monotone, and thuppppppppp made her cry, she showed me too, and i said, uh huh, nice and walked off