Last week SD called BF in the middle of the week to tell him that she got her ears pierced. BF was all excited when I got home from work and he told me about it. I wasn't sure what was so special about it-- I mean, yay she can now wear earrings, but why was it such a big deal? BF seemed a little put out by my lack of enthusiasm, but he explained that SD has been adamantly against this since she was old enough to be asked. She hates needles and every time he or BM asked her (why he cared is beyond me, but I know BF is a big teaser, so I'm sure he pushed her just because she didn't want to) she started to cry. BM wanted it done because it's girly, and she pushed SD as well. It got to the point where SD just asked him one day not to mention it again because she never wanted it done (she's just a wee bit dramatic sometimes), so he left it alone.

She wouldn't tell BF on the phone what made her change her mind. When she came over this weekend she told BF it was because, "I didn't want mommy to cry." She said BM was asking her if she wanted it done for her birthday (she'll turn 9 in Feb.) and SD was again saying no. Then BM started to make pouty faces and continued to ask SD, threatening to cry it seems. Now to me, that just sounds like a mom and daughter messing around. My mom made pouty faces at me plenty when I didn't do something she asked, but I don't think I ever really thought she would cry. I told BF this and he got kind of frustrated with me. I guess BM cries at the drop of a hat (I didn't know), and SD really hates to see her mom cry (she starts crying, too). So BF was pissed because he said BM was manipulating SD to do something that she's never expressed an interest in, and it won't hurt her if she doesn't do it. It's purely aesthetic. He's also worried (more so than I think is necessary) that this shows that BM would manipulate SD to do other things she doesn't want to do, like things to do with BM's BF.

I dunno. It's hard for me to tell because I don't know BM that well and I don't know the dynamics of her relationship with SD. It seems like he might be making a mountain out of a molehill, but maybe I'm wrong. As far as I'm concerned, a little conniving on mom's part to get her daughter to pierce her ears, well it's silly but not horrible, and besides SD is actually happy she got it done now. If BM is using that tactic to get SD to do other things (which we haven't seen any evidence of yet) then that could be a problem. So let's not worry about it until we see reason to do so? Am I wrong?