8 year olds ear piercing infected, big surprise
So BM got the 8 year olds ears pierced a few months ago.(she was 7 then)..AGAINST DADS WISHES....
My boyfriend said she was not old enough to take care of them herself, so she should not get them pierced.
BM did it anyways. Big surprise.
Well, the kids live with us full time, BM gets visitation, so out was not BMs problem to take care of them,....
So, we live on a farm, the kids work on the farm, play on the farm, AROUND ANIMAL SHIT!
So just as we suspected, it was only a matter of time, her ears got infected! It was about a month ago, the girl asked me to change her earrings (because yet more proof- she cant change them herself) this is the first time since she got them pierced that I or her father ever touched her ears, she said BM showed her how to clean her ears and she was doing it. and every time she came back from BMs she had in a different pair so we knew BM was changing them....
So I take her earring out and puss shoots out, it's red all around her ear hole. I called for her father to come in and see it.
His instructions were to clean the ears and leave the earrings out...
3 days later she went for visitation to BMs and came back with different earrings in and retold how I was a dumb B word and her dad didn't know what he was talking about.
So we let it go another week. Now the girl is saying it hurts to sleep at night and she is asking for a pain pill when she gets home from school.
The doctor appointment is tomorrow and BM called tonight... My boyfriend could hear BM saying to the girl over the phone, "I don't know what is wrong with your ears, you were fine when I had you friday morning.something must have happened to hurt your ears since friday."
I AM NOT GOING TO THE APPOINTMENT
But I wish I could be a fly on the wall when the doctor says that this infection clearly did not develop overnight...
What?!?! You mean that something was wrong with supermom's baby girl while she was in her care and supermom did nothing about it?
Oh my, I hope she doesn't
Oh my, I hope she doesn't have a staph infection...sigh...if it hurts, it could be staph...sigh...Bless her little heart. I have had my ears pierced since the day after I was born, but you know, my MOM took care of it...not me. It is irresponsible to expect and 8yr old to take care of it...geez...
I think that is the case with
I think that is the case with my SS. He got his ears pierced over the summer and is now have some bad reaction to them. I told him to take them out and let them close up.
I have to agree. If Dad
I have to agree. If Dad didn't want her ears pierced, he could have the earrings out and been done with it. Since he chose not to, it really was on him to make sure they were being cleaned. If a kid tells you that they've done their homework, and you see no proof of it - whose fault is it when it turns out they didn't actually do it? Yes, the kid's, but also the adult responsible for them.
Dad dropped the ball as badly as Mom did.
I wrote that the girl was
I wrote that the girl was coming back with different earrings from BMs. So we know BM was changing them and touching her ears and looking at them. My boyfriend asked the girl about it and she said her mom showed her how to clean them and she was cleaning them.
So her dad assumed that the girl was doing it and knew BM was looking at her ears to change them.
And HE DID take the earrings out initially. BM was putting them back in and he decided he was not going to start a war over it. He has it in writing that he objected and his reasoning of her being too young. So its documented that BM did this without his parent approval. And it is also documented that he took the earrings out because he saw infection, and BM put the earrings back in.
Actually, you wrote that her
Actually, you wrote that her ears were pierced several months ago, and a month or so ago was the first time you/Dad touched her ears. SO - which is it?
Since the beginning, when her
Since the beginning, when her ears were first pierced.
Immediately when she came back from BM, her dad took the earrings out.
The next day she went back to BM,
BM put them back in,
HE decided not to war over it, whether they would be in or out...
Then did not touch them since.
So he neglected them. Period.
So he neglected them. Period. Not rocket science that when a hole is made in a person, infection could occur if not properly cared for. SHE'S EIGHT!!!!!!!! He screwed up. As did Mom. But it's easier to blame her.
Hopefully it is not an
Hopefully it is not an infection. She could be having an allergic reaction to the metal. I tried to pierce my ears many times, the last time I asked for titanium and had no issues.
The best thing to do with an infected piercing is to leave it in, unless it is an allergic reaction. This way the infection has a direct route out of the body.
Next time BM does some stupid crap go with your gut and take it away, wash it off, give it back whatever it is.
The kid lives with dad, yet
The kid lives with dad, yet you want to place ALL of the blame on mom. :? :?
What parent isn't willing to go to war over a health issue???
He should made were turned and the ears cleaned on a regular basis. Or he should have kept taking the earrings out.
The fact that he sat back and did nothing makes him just as guilty as mom.
How often are the kids with mom?
His baby? The girl is 8.
His baby? The girl is 8.
You're joking right??? You
You're joking right???
You can't believe mom was wrong for doing this since she isn't the CP.
Oh for the love of Pete it is
Oh for the love of Pete it is not Dad's fault the girl's ears are infected. He did NOT want them pierced in the first place. He takes them out, BM puts them in. So is it a good decision for mom and dad to have a pissing match with each other using an 8 year olds ears? Eventually someone is going to throw their hands up and say "this is not a hill I am dying on".
Ironically, my 20 year old SS called me yesterday from college because his ear is also infected. He went and got his ears pierced against his father and my wishes and now he needs to see a dr. because he likely has a staph infection (either that or severe allergy to the metal used in the earring). Gross, but it happens and he is anal/OCD about washing his ears. It can happen to anyone.
8 and 20 are very different.
8 and 20 are very different.
The point is, is that
The point is, is that infections due to piercing of the ears can happen to anyone at any age with any amount of diligence or lack thereof. Sometimes my ears get red and irritated and I have had mine pierced for 30+ years...so not sure what "8 and 20 are different" was in reference to. Infections happen all the time.
We weren't that far off from
We weren't that far off from one another. But an 8yo may need help with the cleaning. a 20 yo? Likely does not.
The child is 8. Hardly an
The child is 8. Hardly an age to be accountable for cleaning her piercings well on her own. How many 8 year olds say they've taken a bath, yet the soap hasn't been touched?
Maybe it wasn't dad's preference to have it done, but it WAS done & he made the conscious decision to ignore it. He can't choose to ignore it & then blame it all on mom.
If her ears were infected a MONTH ago, BOTH parents are asses for waiting so long to get her to a doctor.
Well, maybe I am more passive
Well, maybe I am more passive and submissive....If this happened in our house...Dad would have been irritated but not rained on the girls parade. I know he would not clean her ears. I act as the Mom full-time in our house anyway, so I would have cleaned her ears even if I was furious with BMom because I wouldn't want the daughter to suffer or get sick. If the daughter wanted to do it herself, then I would let her, but with my help. I think at 8 they still need reminding. Our 7 year old is very good at making her bed and getting dressed, but she still has to be reminded on occasion and especially with hygiene issues like teeth brushing. Yes, it is irritating when BMom does something without asking or to give them something you all have said no to. I get that, but in our role, I think we have to do a lot for the kids in spite of that.
I don't think it has anything
I don't think it has anything to do with being passive or submissive, & everything to do with being a responsible grown up.
It seems the adults have more interest in proving a point than providing care for a child with an infection.
I doubt it's puss you're
I doubt it's puss you're pushing out if it isn't red and the hole is older. More likely a collection of dead skin cells and sweat.
Sigh, that ^^ was a response
Sigh, that
was a response to annevstress's post so I'm not sure how it got over here...
OP, earrings at that age is a bad idea, I agree. Unless they're responsible enough to clean them daily then they shouldn't have them. Just wait until she's a teen and mommy lets her get a facial piercing that she doesn't take care of, or belly ring that gets infected to the point where it stains their shirts. :sick: That's what I'm dealing with with my SD. It's filthy.
The puss was green like snot,
The puss was green like snot, pretty sure it was puss. The appointment is in an hour, ill update what the doctor says....
If bm is putting cheap
If bm is putting cheap earnings in (anything other than solid gold or sterling silver) its probably an allergic reaction. I can wear the cheap jewelry (Walmart/Claire's/Target) for a couple weeks, then whatever shiny coating they put on it wears off and my body freaks out. Swelling, red, pussy, oozy....the only thing that fixes it is taking the earings out. A regular bacteria infection should have run its course by now I would think.
I understand where you and dh were under the impression that bm was handling the ear care. If she was coming home from BMS on a regular basis with new earrings in and said she was doing ear care in between herself its seems reason we that dh felt it was taken care of.......but only until you guys realized there was an infection .... At that point dh should have taken charge and not waited for bm to notice the problem and admit to it.
Well, they went to the doctor
Well, they went to the doctor yesterday afternoon. I WAS NOT IN THE ROOM.
But my boyfriend said this is what went down.
BM showed up and in the waiting room pulled the girl aside ( out of his line of sight, he had to stand up to see what were BM was taking the girl) to look at the ears and talk to her. Then in the patient room the doctor took one look at the girl's ears and said, "It looks like a staph infection, we will take a swab of it to make sure it isn't something else, but we will treat it like staff" BM was shocked! "How could it be infection, we clean them all the time!"
And the doctor(BM picked this doctor and insists all three of the kids go) said to BM, "This is an 8 year old girl. You can't expect an 8 year old to not play in the dirt." And my boyfriend mentioned he didn't know what it was, if it was infection or a metal allergy, he didn't care what it was, his dughter complained of pain and that was what he was trying to fix. So BM spoke up and said, "well, you can keep your earrings out until you get to my house on Friday, then we will go to (INSERT BIG FANCY JEWELRY STORE)"
And Dad spoke up and said, "Why don't we just take them out and be done with it? You can get them re pierced when you are older"
BM spoke back up and said, " I will get you some really good earrings, since Dad doesn't want to buy them for you."
**Can you believe it? Obvious PAS right there in front of the doctor!**
Then the doctor tried making small talk to the girl asking about school and homework and asked, "So have you been getting much homework?" BM jumps in and says, "Oh no only a page at night." (BM has only had her one night since school started) The 8 year old butted in, " Nuh Uh, I get so much more homework now in 3rd grade. Dad helps me for an hour every day after school." BM then apparently went silent the rest of the doctor appointment.
The girl got an antibiotic to take 3 times a day. And BM is going to take her to buy an expensive pair of earrings,.....