Contact your local news station, sometimes they will tell the story and set up a donations fund for the family that ppl can make payments to. i've heard of giving a service free due to really sad stories.

I am so sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you and your family.

I lost my parents, 3 years ago, 3 months apart. I have to sy the the family that ran the local funeral were wonderful people. They did not push any extras, in fact the daughter stayed with me and called me a few times the first year to see how I was doing. I have to say that this family really comforted me and made this horrible time is my life as pleasant as it good be.

Just be up front with them because there are lower cost options.

I am so sorry this happened. It must be tough for your husband to have to shoulder this burden.

You should make sure your brother in law did not have any insurance through his work. Most companies automatically carry some sort of policy on their workers, even if it is small (I think mine is $25,000).

And skip the bells and whistles. A funeral isn't for the deceased, it's for the living. It can be simple and beautiful. I don't know if it would be tacky to ask people for donations for expenses in lieu of flowers, but that is one idea.

My condolences on the loss of your BIL. I concur with the cremation recommendations made by others.

It is inexpensive since there is no need for embalming and the burial costs are minimal compared to an underground vault, led lined coffin, etc... that is usually associated with the full meal deal funeral packages that most funeral homes push these days.

To avoid the costs of a large headstone I would also recommend a memorial park Vs a traditional cemetery if there is not a plot in a family cemetery available. My BF from HS is a Funeral Sales Director and I called him for his recommendations when a different friend of mine's parents passed a couple of years ago. He actually kept both of his parent's urns his study until this summer when started a 2 year tour of National Parks and National Cemetery’s to find an place for his parents. His dad was a WWII vet and both parents will be placed in a Nat Cemetery when he picks the one he wants for them. He wants to select a cemetery near a Nat Park so that his memories of mom and dad can be associated with a beautiful place.

There is also not a requirement for burial with cremation. Ashes can be spread in a place significant to the family of the departed and the urn can be donated to charity.

Best regards,

When my SM died last year of lung cancer, we decided to forgo a funeral all together. She was being cremated so we opted for a cardboard box (it was very tasteful) and a private viewing, just family and friends coming to pay respect. After the viewing, we went back to Dad's for coffee, drinks and pizza.

My SM was a simple woman with simple needs. She was painfully shy and had really low self-esteem but, in the last months of her life, she felt so loved by my Dad, my sister's and I, our kids, her kids... so it fit. We will be spreading her ashes somewhere private and pretty by a lake.

I have friends that actually borrowed a truck and drove his mother's body from the funeral home to the creamatorium (it's four hours away) and saved a fortune in transportation costs.

The Funeral Homes know where to get funding, etc. for when there are no funds available for burial.

My condolences. My sister's husband died of an accidental overdose (migraine suffer and stroke suvivor) at 43. It's very hard.

Hugs and prayers to you and your poor hubby.

I have been through the loss of a beloved family member. I am very sorry for the loss of your dear brother in law.

Please keep in mind that you and your man are about the only family, so the service is going to be primarily what YOU need to move on. If the parents and extended family need to see him buried, that would be one thing.

Me and DH personally want to be cremated. I think it is a good option, because it is cost effective and affordable and it in no way degrades the person. I think we were raised to bury people out of some sort of link to the past, but I find it horrifying. If I new they would bury me I would freak out. I want cremation, I don't want to be presevered in a box underground for some "ritual" or tradition.

The funeral home should be able to offer you a payment plan whatever you choose. If you don't want to choose cremation, you can purchase a casket at a wholesaler like costco, online. You don't have to do the embalming. You can pretty much choose how you do everything. They are going to play on your guilt...good brothers do this...blah blah blah. Don't let that cloud your judgment. Remember, funeral homes make money off your sorrow. My friend's family owned a funeral home and let me tell you...they had some money!!

One thing to remember....the brother probably does not want you to go into massive debt over his funeral. He was a best friend, he wants what is best for you. Try to think about that and know that he will accept whatever decision you make. What would you want done if it was you?

The thing is....you do not have to make a massive effort or circus around his passing, the important thing is you had a wonderful relationship when he was alive and simple steps to honor his memory...in your way...will be enough.

I hope none of this is offensive to you. I know it is a hurtful time and hard to see your loved one (husband) in such agony. Hugs for you. Try to get some rest and sleep on it. Prayers for you and your husband. message me anytime if I can help further.

When my first DH died, there was little life insurance. They kept trying to sell me stuff, but I was firm on what I could afford. You can cremate and not have a service. You can do a small service at a church if you need to and don't coordinate with the funeral home. They add all these upcharges. Cremation is the cheapest way to go and spread the ashes where it means something. Just know what you can afford and do not waiver from that. They will certainly try. Them and family members. People get very wierd when a loved one dies. My late husband is in a very expensive casket. I wanted the cheapest one they had. My MIL was adamant. So she had to write a check to the funeral home for the price of that casket and the difference from the cheap one I wanted. "No son of mine will be buried in that". Well fine, you pay for it and she did.

She died a few years later and they spent way too much on her funeral, but that was their choice. I personally don't see the point and I had to think about my son.