My marriage is headed for divorce
I'm pretty sure my marriage is headed for a divorce unless I start pretending to like my skids. I tried disengaging but I just got accused of being mean. Really how is it being mean to say nothing at all and just let them be?! We just keep arguing. He won't compromise at all! I think we are going to have to go to counseling and we've only beeen married 6 months! I can't imagine spending the rest of my life like this!
- Not the Evil Stepmom's blog
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Sorry that you are going
Sorry that you are going through this. Counseling may help. Make sure you look for a counselor who has experience with "blended families". Anyone worth their salt should be able to set your H straight that you disengaging is NOT the same as you being mean!!
But if your H won't compromise at all, a counselor may not help. If nothing else, go to counseling for yourself. I did and it helped me a lot.
I'm right there with you the
I'm right there with you the way things are going. We haven't even been together a full two years yet.
You are not "mean" to disengage. You only have to be "civil", not stand in mother.
The Tenant is a hard core
The Tenant is a hard core guilty daddy who was dominated in his marriage by the Girhippo (the BM) and so sought to dominate me in our relationship (so as to avoid the first situation) I"m not the "dominating" type so he found it easy to say "my way or the highway" to me as the Gir did to him.
Man, Crayon, sometimes I think my H and your Tenant are long lost siblings.
H once told me that BM would be most happy if he was in a locked cage in her living room where she could have complete control over him. But now I am the one who feels that way about HIM!
Not the evil stepmom - the
Not the evil stepmom - the first year of marriage is the hardest - DH and I went to marriage counseling after the first six months and it was the best thing we ever did - just know people think that you madly love each other you just got married so there should be only bliss - it is not the way it works - it is the hardest year you will probably have with DH. So get DH to go to counseling and he needs to understand the just because you love him and married him does not necessarily mean that you are going to love his children - all you need to do is take care of them and be there for them and if the love comes great if not at least you are there for them and that is all that matters - the more he tries to push you to love the children the harder you are going to push back. Good luck!
Same story here. We are
Same story here. We are coming up on one year of marriage in a couple weeks, but instead of feeling like we are counting up... I feel like we are counting down to the end. We've been in therapy for a couple months, but I can't say that it's helped a whole lot yet. Still waiting for a breakthrough. Our counselor has lots of experience with step-families and is a SM herself. He sees that as her being biased rather than insightful though. After all, he has to have something to blame the fact that she's spent most of the time telling him about the prioritization issues he's screwing up and why it's not ok. Not ready to give up yet, but not sure how long things will last if nothing changes.