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Realized my idea of a perfect family Christmas is over!

MARLA_823's picture

Submitted by MARLA_823 on Fri, 12/10/2010 - 5:47pm

The custody arrangement goes like this; the parent who has SD for Christmas has her until noon on Dec 26. This year is our BD's first Christmas. Now I'm broken hearted, because this is our year not to have SD so basically we do Christmas on Christmas Day without SD, or our BD has to wait til the 26th to open her presents so we can do it as a family. It may not matter this year, BD is only 9mo, but what about later years? Is BD to wake up Christmas morning and be told yes Santa came, but no you have to stare at your presents an extra day? I don't want my BD's Christmases to be broken bc SD's parents are not together! I hate not unwrapping gifts as a family, but I guess SD will just be unwrapping her gifts alone on the 26th. Sigh. When I told DH about how sad it made me, he got all mad bc there was nothing he could do about it. "can't change the paperwork!" I'm not asking you to! I'm not looking for a solution, just mourning the loss of the "perfect" holidays. I just want him to listen and understand me.

Comments

LizzieA's picture

Submitted by LizzieA on Fri, 12/10/2010 - 6:33pm

Do her main gifts with your BD, then save some to do with SD. Think of it as prolonging the fun, an extra Christmas.

ddakan's picture

Submitted by ddakan on Fri, 12/10/2010 - 6:46pm

don't worry about future years. only worry about this year. life won't be perfect, but you will have some perfect moments. work around the timing, let the baby wait and open her presents, she doesn't have any clue of what day it is. the being together is the point.

sometimes dh is stressed about it and instead of just listening, he goes off because he feels bad, and he's a guy, and guys aren't the best communicators.

year after year yall will figure out how not to let this situation steal your joy. this is our 10th Christmas with 7 children, and we've come a long way. I used to HATE it, but learned to take what I can get and be at peace with it Smile Wink

MARLA_823's picture

Submitted by MARLA_823 on Fri, 12/10/2010 - 7:31pm

Thanks, you all made me feel better. Maybe by the time BD is old enough to understand then SD will be too old for Santa. That would make things so much better. Biggrin

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Sat, 12/11/2010 - 4:12pm

I replied below and said the same thing about Santa and did not see that you had written the exact same thing - sorry!

caregiver1127's picture

Submitted by caregiver1127 on Sat, 12/11/2010 - 4:11pm

Marla your BD is only 9 months she seriously won't know what days are until about 3 or 4 years old so until that time you can have christmas any day and she won't know. With our DD her brother left to go back to his mothers to live when she was 2 - but for those first 2 christmases we had christmas before he left to go and visit his mother - but she had no clue - so don't worry about the future and don't make things bad between you and DH because it is a situation he can't change - so until BD is a little older have Christmas with SD on the 26th when BD gets to be about 4 or 5 then you have a christmas for her and when SD gets there on the 26th then she can open her presents that day - it will all work out in the end - just don't let it get to you this year!! Depending on how old SD is - she probably won't believe in Santa Claus anymore and it will be just fine. Also your BD will really only like the wrapping paper and the boxes she won't care about presents - enjoy that as well cause before you know she will be watching TV and telling you exactly what she wants- lol