I am so glad to find this site, and I am so glad I am now with people who can relate to my situation. I really hate being a step mother, it's always a balancing act all the time. I cannot make any decision without considering the 2 step kids. Having no freedom in this sense really suffocates me. Before I married my husband, I was so positive that the relationship between us all will work. So I did my best and always put myself last so no one will have a problem with me. But this is just a one way process, it's only me who do all the work to keep it going and everyday I am just getting more and more tired. My husband had a girlfriend for 2 years before me and she walked out because she could not stand the fact that there will be step kids in tow, now I fully understand why she walked out. The bitchiness & disrespectfulness of the girls really gets into my nerves, but I could not say a thing. Most of the time I just lock myself in the bedroom. The girls really does scare me, that they may destroy my marriage. They are so lazy so I end up picking up their mess after them, their father have told them countless times but it never gets into their heads. I always feel that I really never been part of this family. I always feel that I am just a stranger to this family hence they can do what they want, and if I don't like it I am free to go. I have been honest to my husband about my feelings and he fully understand, but now I realise I have been to honest that I have forgotten that it is his children I am talking about. So now I could not discuss this to him anymore because I know he gets hurt by it. I am just so glad I can let my feelings go this way without the fear of hurting anyone in the family. There are 3 words I really wanted to say to the girls...initials....F.O.B.....but obviously I can't say that without the consequencies hitting back at my face....