MILs and BMs BFF?

Just curious if anyone else's MIL is weirdly friendly with BM whether it be and ex gf or ex wife. And If so how close/ how do you deal with it?

My MIL is, and it totally disgusts me to the point of never wanting to see the woman. She has never been rude directly to me, actually she is quite nice most of the time (a little rough around the edges though). I don't know how to deal with this since at least one time BM is brought up out of no where if it is a five minute stay or thanksgiving dinner. It makes FDH very uncomfortable because he knows how much I hate BM. Im not insecure in either relationship with DH or MIL it just bothers me to no end! Guh, she is a welfare peice of trash so I wonder why she wastes so much of her time and money on this woman. They weren't even married...?

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Oh and her excuse is "it's

Oh and her excuse is "it's for SD5" but even when it is our two weeks to have SD they chat go shopping (on MILs credit card) so how is it for SD?

I have seen this issue many

I have seen this issue many times on here and the only think I can think of is that most Grandparents are afraid that if the BM gets nasty and withholds visitation from the father that they will not get to see the grand kid so they are nice to the BM to keep that door open - I would tell your MIL that if she wants to hang out with BM fine but you do not need nor want to hear about BM - she is the past and you are the future.

Thanks CG, Ive posted similar

Thanks CG, Ive posted similar things in the past but it seems to eat away at me every time I see her. The good thing about BM is she is incapable of taking care of herself let alone SD full time..I think I need to just relax and let it be. But you are right about talking about her disclosing waaay to much info to me. Out of sight out of mind...I hope?

My mother became BFF with my

My mother became BFF with my ex-husband when I left him. For some strange reason, I think she resented me for standing up for myself and escaping such an abusive relationship. He hated her, but loved the fact that she was taking his side and knew that it hurt me, so he ate it up. He actually gave her some of MY things, since he wouldn't let me remove anything from the house when I left. More than 10 years later, it still makes me angry to visit her and see some of my furniture in her home.

Now there is a situation I

Now there is a situation I havn't heard of too often. That would hurt me so bad especially since it was on your side of the family! Kind of puts things into perspective for me a little bit. It definatly could be worse. Feel for you

Okay thatgirl - that

Okay thatgirl - that furniture would have been ripped out of my mother's house and I would not go and visit her - that is f____ed up!! I am sorry that you have a mother like that - I had such a great adopted mother I can't imagine a horrible one except for my real mother but I hit the jackpot with my adopted one!!

Are you living my life?

Are you living my life? lol...I have posted many times about my situation that is similar in regards to MIL being way too close and nicey nice with BM. And like you, it really bothers me. When DH and I were first together, MIL was making dinner for the weekend. She wanted DH to come, but she didn't want me to come because she had invited BM and didn't "want to upset her." Yeah, that went over real well...I was furious. Needless to say, we did not go to that dinner. MIL also kept a very large framed pic of DH, BM, and SD displayed in the dining/living room. Every time i went over there, I had BM's nasty mug staring me in the face. I hadto ask DH to have her put it away where it wasn't in plain site every freaking time i went over there. MIL also loveeess loves loves to talk with BM on the phone on SPEAKER. Since I sit right next to MIL during skid visits , I get to hear everything crystal clear.She always calls her "honey" and "sweety" and sucks her ass. And the cherry ontop of the sundae is that MIL acts like BM's personal freaking accountant - always asking DH if he has BM's CS while we are out there every other weekend. Yeah lady, I think we can handle the CS schedule THANKS...And also like you, DH and BM were never married. They were together for a month and she "accidently" got pregnant...lovely. MIL is very nice towards me and very sweet with me, but I have a bitter taste in my mouth when it comes to her from time to time because of how she acts with BM.

Well not that I feel better

Well not that I feel better someone else has to go through this but..I do? I swear to god I leave that place EVERY time thinking wtf?! And the photo that is just perfect, she has the exact same thing in her living room! Gah, we told her to take it down since it had three of her sons with DILs. One failed marriage and FDH with his pig of an ex in it..so why keep it?! It went down for about a month and reappeard. And the overbearing CS thing is soooo like her. We don't have to pay the POS CS since it is joint custody two weeks on two weeks off. But live in a small town so we decided to make SDs busstop the grandparents house. What a freaking mistake. I have to see this bingo betty every F'in morning. And she tells us the same info from Bm about 1000 times.

They tried to invite bm to christmas dinner the first year we were together..it is just like im living you're life. And that part of my life sucks ass! Haha.

I hope you're DH is as awesome as mine though because if he wasn't I would have been going going GONE!

Ick, yes anyone who says

Ick, yes anyone who says don't let it bother you, well I don't know why they would say that because i find it impossible not to. Like you said, not because you are insecure, it just gets soo annoying and it's disrepectful the LEVEL that she takes it to. Of course I know she is going to talk to her because the sun rises and sets around SD in her eyes, but she should respect some boundaries you know?

Things were shakey with DH when we first got together but now he has gotten much much better. He understands that certain shit pisses me off, then he gets pissed off too when he sees that I'm irritated. He hates BM so he's not a big fan of what MIL does either on his own. But unfortunately MIL is extremely drama queen fragile w/ a lot of health problems so if you let her know something is bothering you that she is the cause of she would have freaking heart attack so that makes it difficult.

I agree about nagging the DH

I agree about nagging the DH about the situation, which I don't. It's not his fault. Maybe I do have some growing to do to be "zen" with everyones choices in life. But seriously people are freaking stupid, and stupid people bother me. I wish I could be as mature is that is the right word about it, but I think it is a little on the suffocating side to have your DHs ex in you're face all the time whether you get along with her or not. And I do not.

It bothers us because they

It bothers us because they cross the line and are rude--they often don't really accept the new wife (and make that obvious) and the new marriage magically improves the relationship with the ex. And they invite her to every holiday like she is still married to the DH. How cozy. I don't care if they have relationships with her but in my case it was the SILs who were downright rude to me while kissing up to the woman they told DH to divorce. It's about control. They couldn't control DH anymore and they resented me for it. Sounds like the poster has a MIL who is deliberately rubbing her face in the ex's existence. Some women are so malicious. And Jealousy has a lot to do with it sometimes. It did in our case. The ringleader like having DH as a misery buddy and when he got happy (something she desperately wants), she had a jealousy meltdown. "Off with their heads!"

It bothers us because they

I like those. I really do

I like those. I really do need a postive way to deal with this issue since it annoys me that MIL bothers me so much. Im going to try those. SD just told me last night out of nowhere "Mom thinks nanny is lazy" haha, she is full of so much information.

Sometimes I really feel like

Sometimes I really feel like we're playing on opposite teams with FDHs fam. FDH was worried BM would do the same thing (that sounds terrible not to know where your child is) but luckily she isn't self sufficient enough to take care of herself let alone SD plus another baby. I would really have to restrain myself from punching your MIL in the face...theoretically? Haha. I like how she goes through you before getting to DH just to make sure you get the full affect of her game..guh..

Guh that sounds terrible. Do

Guh that sounds terrible. Do you think your DH and MIL will ever sqaush their beef so you can be in peace?

For many years my mother gave

For many years my mother gave SpermGrandMa (SS's BioDad's Mom) the benefit of the doubt.

"She can't be that bad."
"She just wants what she thinks is best for her family"
etc,etc,etc

Finally after a particularly bad visitation and associated drama that were all SpermGrandMa induced my mom came to the realization that I know what I am talking about regarding SpermGrandMa and the SpermClan. It took them hurting her grandson (my SS) to finally admit that there is not much as far as redeeming character in the entire SpermClan gene pool.

My mom also tends to side with the perspective that ladies are rarely evil or have ulterior motives. It takes her a while to come to the realization that there are GrandMas who are characterless.

At lease my mom finally realized the truth.

Hopefully your MIL will also.

Fingers crossed..I highly

Fingers crossed..I highly doubt it though. She is a bingo betty gossip bag so BM feeds here love for drama. It's surprsing to me how many woman have this issue or similar circumstances. Makes me feel not so alone. Sperm clan...hahaha.

My MIL actually did sell out

My MIL actually did sell out DH to have a relationship with the skids. She helped convince SS that he should go live with BM by telling him that we told her she would never see him again. So with all the pressure and a Dad without the ability to say no - off he went. BM & MIL were all BFF until MIL did something to piss off BM - She brought SIL around the skids. BM did not want my SIL around the kids as she was always acting crazy at that time. I've posted about some of the stuff she's done to us. Then BM completely cut MIL off and refused to allow her to see the skids. No MIL has zero relatioship with DH because she sided with BM and zero relationship with BM and the skids.
It happens, it hurts but we've tried extending the olive branch to her on many occasions and it always ends up bittig us back. Now we hear she's completely freaked out because my parents moved in a few house down from us from out of state and see our bios all the time and she's never even seen them.

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