JSMOM - you now need to be the mom - FUCK all the criticism that your are getting from certain people on this site - go in and protect your own - screw that little bitch who is causing all of these problems. You have a god given right to make sure that your child is protected and safe from people like your BM and her daughter - I would also tell my hubby that he puts a stop to this shit or you are moving - your son does not need a mark on his record because this little bitch wants to cause problems. Go to the school tomorrow and advocate for your son and screw what anyone says - SD is a bully and just because she is a female means nothing - she is bullying your son!

I have tried to stay quite about this post but ENOUGH IS ENOUGH - you tried to be nice and diplomatic now it is time to be the animal that is called a mother!!!

PS - Please delete any comment that pisses you off or upsets you that is what the button is there for - YOU GO GIRL - KICK SOME SD's ASS!!!

I'm so sorry this is still going on. I think you are absolutely right to go into the school and get the issue straight. Naturally the counselor is going to pick a side, most likely the first one to bring it up, and then go into psychoanalysis bullshit trying to "figure" things out. Whatever. I think you're right on with this.

I think the other arrangement of picking BS up after school will be the best recourse in this situation. I hope SD realizes that this behavior/action is just making things that much worse and your DH needs to get involved. I know he was trying to handle things but this has gone too far and idle talk and emails mean nothing to someone with an agenda.

I hope the lawyer can come up with something. BTW, I would've raised hell at DH too about this. It's extremely frustrating. BUT, until you can get in and get your son's name cleared, there's no reason to fret much more over this. SD is putting nails in her own coffin, one action at a time.

Good luck to you.

Well since it's escalated then YES, time to go to the school (which I actually agreed on your first blog was probably the best way to deal with this actually) and make sure there is no mark on his record. They just beat you to the punch, probably because they got negative attention from dad, so they escalated.

I would NOT get a RO, your DH would be furious and agree, there are no grounds really. Sitting w/his friends in the bus is not reason enough. They are there for serious protection from life threats and violence.

Go with the driving him from school for now until this is resolved. It will probably take a while.

Look-you did your best-we all have opinions-we all give advice based on how we would approach things. So go with your gut mom.

There is currently an "anti bullying" campaign going on in the school district that my kids are in. It's long overdue, in my opinion. Anyway, the poster posted all over in the schools says "No one has the right to interfere with your safety or your education in any way". Not the exact words, but you get the gist of it.

This girl is intentionally stirring turds and messing with your kid. He tried to handle it. Now he's being antagonized.

March right in there with guns blazing and squash that little bitch. She can learn a lesson now or later, but now will save everyone involved a lot of heartache. Time to take the kid gloves OFF! And to hell with anyone's opinions.

I think you're doing the right thing. Someone has to put a stop to SD's behavior. Bring all of your documentation with you and let the school have a look at that.

Also, your son can contact fb and see if they can un-list him from SD's siblings.

Jsmom, I am sorry it has come to this. Hopefully it can all be fixed. I would have that school giving me her ass on a platter by the time I was done.

Good luck Jsmom. I'm sorry this has taken such a dramatic and nasty turn. Keep everyone updated - we'll be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts!

I was wondering why the other children (DS's friends) can't be called into the office and questioned? There HAS to have been someone else on the bus who has witnessed all of this. Someone needs to get to the bottom of what is driving your SD and if it's simple jealousy someone needs to teach her a HEALTHY way to deal with it. I understand that YOUR top priority is YOUR son but then isn't your SD your DH's priority? I don't think it's a good idea for him to give up custody of his daughter when it looks as though her mother does NOT have her own daughter's best interest at heart. Something is obviously wrong with that little girl and she either needs a good helping of discipline or some mental help but it doesn't look as though anybody cares because everybody's too busy looking at the EFFECT and not the CAUSE... I'll tried reading your other posts about how it got THIS bad with your SD but I'm sorry and I'm honestly not trying to pick on you or anything because I see that it's the LAST thing you need right now but SOMEONE needs to be a parent to that little girl. I'm wondering if maybe that isn't part of the problem here...

In your previous post you said eventually punishment included iss and being kicked off the bus. Why do you have to go pick up son? That little b should be removed from the bus, especially since you brought this all to the attention of the school first.

I hate manipulators.

Ah, the cry to the counselor routine to get them on your side. Sneaky trick. SD17 has pulled that several times. In fact, there was one point, not long after DH and I married and she was about 9, that she was in the counselor's office EVERY DAY. For what?! Because she "needed" someone to "talk to" about her "situation." It was ridiculous. SD even got her high school counselor to write a letter to the court about DH and me when SD wanted to move in with BM. This counselor had never met EITHER of us and yet was willing to go out on a limb in a document to submit to the court. It's a good thing we didn't get a copy of that, I think I would have gotten that counselor fired. It was ridiculous.

Yes, you need to do something about this. You don't want your son having problems later in life because of something SD "said" he did. Even if our legal system is innocent until proven guilty, human nature turns that around into guilty until proven innocent.

I feel so bad for your son and for you. I'd be livid that DH kept the conversations from you but he probably thinks his heart was in the right place.
I thought I read that you had already notified the school - so didn't you really strike first and then SD tried a different in-road.

I would be so furious at this point and I'm very angry that you are having to deal with this. If SD doesn't want to be a part of your lives then she should go already - what drama.

This is exactly what I feared when I posted to you a day or two ago. I agree with those who say strike now. Schools are notorious for believing girls over boys and she got her foot in by going in to complain first. Take every shred of documentation in. INSIST that it be removed from his record IMMEDIATELY and that they put a stop to her harassment of your son. I realize she's your husband's daughter but he is your son. Treat it like you would if the person harassing him was not your husband's daughter and protect him!

Jsmom, I feel for you. I definitely feel you need to make the school aware that this IS a form of bullying.

It doesn't matter if she is a girl and he is a guy and bigger than her, it is STILL bullying (which is getting a LOT of media attention lately and may make the school stand up and take notice).

Do not tell me again that you feel sorry for her. She created this reality when she continued to cause drama in this house. It was her signature on the CO modification. She did this, not me or my son. Hell the worst thing her father did was ground her for lying about having a boyfriend.

How you can YOU tell ME what to do? What gives YOU that right?

I went back through and read your blogs. I lived for four YEARS with a man who had OCD and it's damn near impossible for a NORMAL person and NORMAL children to live with someone like that! He was constantly setting rules that my children never in a MILLION years could have followed all of them and he made damn sure that when they DIDN'T follow them he was RIGHT on it! Your SD14 asked for you and her DH to attend counseling with her... she WANTED to work things out with you and she was ASKING for help and YOU said no. Why? Because YOU thought the counselor was going to blame you. Why would you jump to that conclusion without even giving it a shot? That was EXACTLY what my XBF did when I asked for all of us to go to counseling because he KNEW he was in the wrong and he didn't want anybody to find out.

Also after reading your blogs it bothers me that you turned to buying SS11 a TV and xbox because now you're trying to get him to want to live with DH and you full-time.

I am entitled to my own opinion... I read a LOT of blogs on here and all I usually see are normal frazzled SM's who just need somewhere to vent so that they can continue to be patient in the home... but I see something different in your posts. Every post that I read sounded like this little girl was being a NORMAL teenager and then she got PUSHED. Of course things have now escalated to the point of no return and of course now she's going to lash out at your DS. It's either because she feels that it's the only way she can get back at you for taking her dad away or maybe your son really was provoking her. My XBF's children couldn't get along with my kids because my XBF was always being mean to my kids right in front of his and so they naturally did what dad did to try to make him proud. My kids also resorted to acting out bad to the ex and his kids. Now that I'm in a new a relationship where I'M not being abused and my children aren't being manipulated my kids are calm and relaxed and they absolutely LOVE their step-dad and in fact when their step-dad and I have even a TINY argument my children come to me and ask me if what we were arguing over was so bad and that I should just let it go because DH is wonderful and my kids are scared that we will break-up and I will end up with another XBF.

I was really nice in my original post but since I didn't feed your fire you retaliated with telling me (a complete stranger) what to do.

I think you're being too hard on this little girl and she's retaliating. I think if you have such a hatred for a TEENAGE girl you at least owe it to this family to walk away. That little girl needs her daddy and right now she can't have him so she's hurt and lashing out. I even had my DH read all your posts and without me saying a word he came to the exact same conclusion as I. In fact HE said that if he was that girl's dad he would have left already.

This is my opinion and this America and I am entitled to it. If you didn't want someone to see the other side of the coin here you shouldn't post publicly.

I don't have any advice for you Jsmom.Just a hug (((((jsmom))))).i'm sorry that your efforts to stop the situation have resulted in so much drama.I feel your anger and frustration and it's a darn shame people feel like they have to come on here and argue with you about it when you obviously aren't in the right frame of mind to deal with nonsense from strangers.It doesn't matter whether we agree or disagree with how you are handling things,what matters is we're all here to 'listen' and give you a chance to vent everything and organize your thoughts.
As for the coldhearted comments from others,you don't have to coddle someone or pat her on the back but maybe a little tact when commenting on such sensitive feelings and situations would help to get your message out more effectively.I thought we weren't here to hurt each other.I thought we were here to learn and grow without sticking a red hot pin into someone while they're having a hard time.Voicing your opinion and being heartless don't have to be one in the same.