I went to the school early this morning and then to the Police Station. I met with the Vice Principal who I had called on Monday confidentially about all of this. She was not aware that my son had been called in to the office. So she got his counselor to come in to the office and discuss it. I asked to speak to SD's counselor as well, but was told that is confidential. Apparently, after my DH tried to get BM to tell SD to leave BS alone, she (BM) went and filed a complaint against my son. SD was called into her counselors office and my son in his. Now, I made it clear that going forward my son was not to be asked any questions about his Step sister unless either my DH and I are present. I also basically confronted the counselor about any notes she may have taken that would be in his file. She assured me she didn't. Find that hard to believe. She said my son seemed fine when he left and she wasn't aware she had upset him. I said he went to bed at 8:00 PM last night and didn't eat dinner with us. He is scared and he doesn't like to talk to adults. "So don't do it again regarding this. If you need to discuss colleges or classes in the future that is fine". But, never ever discuss this situation with him directly."

Vice Principal was clear that she had kept everything confidential about SD as I requested. They let it drop in the conversation that BM had been in to the school to have the school handle it. Well, I gave them all the information about SD and how we got to this place. I even mentioned that we were in the process of having her diagnosed Bi-Polar before she moved out. No holds barred. I explained everything about BM and SS12 and her beating him up and that the lawyers were addressing everything. I even addressed SD's gloating about getting boys to do whatever she wanted. I wasn't mean and I told them that she is a child, but she can not cause this kind of drama without some ramifications. I even called BM out on the reason this was still not settled legally was BM wants CS. I was done letting people think poorly of my DH and I for giving up custody of that kid. We did everything we could. Now even SD has revised what truly happened. In her email to DH she said she did not leave voluntarily. She served us. DH gave in. He wants to see her. She won't. She and BM have revised in their own mind what happened.

I explained how she manipulates people and I wanted it made clear to SD's counselor that she created this drama. They assured me that they would have a conversation with her counselor.

My questions about what happens next were that she has to threaten him verbally at school or have someone get physical with my son. If he punches back, he is suspended no questions asked. Since, the threat was in an email to my DH, the school had requested I meet with the police. Did that. Was told that I need to meet with the School Resource Officer to file a complaint. But the very nice police officer has offered if I got nowhere with the SRO at school to see him again and he would drive to their house and meet with SD and BM to ask her to leave BS alone.

I made sure nothing was written down with the Policeofficer. I keep hoping that BM will handle it. But, it is clear she won't. I am waiting for a call from school to go and meet with the CRO and file a grievance. If we don't do this step and something happens with them on school property, they will automatically assume my son is culpable and he will be punished. The officer even admitted that the odds were good that they would take the girl's word on this type of stuff.

I have to tell our story three times today and I have to do it again. It is embarrasing to admit the lengths that this girl will go to. It is not going to stop. The school agreed to separate seats on the bus on Monday morning. I will drive the rest of the week. They are going to make her sit behind the bus driver and him sit at the back of the bus. I told the VP that if that couldn't make it happen exactly that way, then I would just drive. She assured me that she would tell the bus driver that. Her in front and BS at the back.

Met DH for lunch and filled him in. He is okay with everything, but he does think that the assigned seats is going to set her off. She will retaliate.
He believes that SD doesn't think rules applies to her and that an adult can't tell her what to do. She said that to him in her email. She would do whatever she wanted.

DH wants to see what the CRO officer does. I do not want him to pull the kids in at the same time to discuss it. BS does not want to be anywhere near the girl. If this does not resolve the situation, then the POlice officer will make out a report and go visit the girl. DH has fears that that will be seen by a judge as we are making life difficult for this girl. Of course, the lawyers have not been heard from. They are aware of this and have not replied to our emails asking for direction. I hate lawyers....

I appreciate all the support and I should have listened to some of you and involved the school last week. I was wrong to let BM get the jump on this. I truly believed DH that if BS ignored it it would get better. I thought BM would tell the daughter to stay away from BS. Ignore him. That is what I told my son. She doesn't want to parent. She made that abundantly clear. She told the school that my son harassed her daughter.

She has made comments about my son being "perfect". I am sure she enjoyed this. I want everyone to know and I told my DH this in the car, that it is taking all the restraint I have to not have some communication myself with BM.

I appreciate the support on this. But, there comes a point when you have to choose between upsetting the apple cart with Step kids and BM and doing what is in the best interest of your child. 5 conversations in 5 years with BM. Mostly just a hello. One letter to her when she involved my son in her lies to DH. Otherwise, nothing. When do I get my say in this?