I've learned so much just sitting back and lurking (though have posted a bit). For the past 20 years I have thought that it was ME, that MY feelings were wrong; DH tells me how much he has sacrificed for me but I have always put aside how much I have sacrificed for HIM and SD these last 20 years.

I have figured it out now. First-class citizens are SD, her DH, and her mom and his parents. Second-class citizen is DH, who is good for a party or a free meal (or a college education that we paid for). Third-class is DH's family (who get invited to things only if we pay for them). Way, way back in cargo comes me and my family (I have no kids, just an elderly mom and a couple of sisters). We only get included if it's "ok" with everyone else.

Except for the every-Sunday visits that DH expects me to make with him to see the grands.

I am really starting to feel hopeless. I really, really thought things would improve after SD got married.

DH and I can't even enjoy looking a photos! One of the photos had one of the grands with one of my dogs, and I - jokingly - said, "oh, look, there's my future junior handler." DH grabbed the photo and said "I don't want you pushing those dogs on the grandkids ever." Huh? It was an innocent comment about a cute picture!

I HATE going on the visits, they last too long (until everyone is grumpy and crying); DH criticizes anything I say or do or don't say or should have said or....