FSS8's "Birthday" Dinner tonight
Y'all, I just don't want to go!
Every Wednesday, when FDH has FSS8 for 5 hours, my FDH says "let's go out to eat, FSS8 will like to eat Mexican/Buffalo Wild WIngs." Every Wednesday...same places. I'm over them. Not only does it teach FSS8 that when he comes over, we'll go out somewhere to eat (which causes a problem on EOW if we DON'T go out Friday and Saturday night as well), tonight I just don't effing want to go.
FDH and I took FSS8 to Krispy Kreme for breakfast Sunday (his bday was this past Monday),and he got birthday donuts. I made cookies for his whole class for his school party Monday. His mom is having a party for him this Saturday. Now FDH says "we'll make this his bday dinner." Holy crap! How many times do we have to celebrate his bday? He's 8! Not 16!
I planted the seed in FDH's head this morning that I'm not feeling too great, and they may have to go alone tonight. I am just not in the mood to watch FSS8 roll around in the booth like a toddler, talking trains. Nor do I want Mexican for the 4th week in a row. Am I being spiteful, y'all? Or is this better than telling him the truth and risking hurting his feelings that I just don't feel like going out tonight? I hate lying to him, but I dont want to hurt his feelings either. Do I suck it up and go anyway, and risk being somewhat less than pleasant, since, as some would say, I "knew what I was getting into" when I started dating him?
Mainly, I just think it is stupid that we have to "take him out to dinner" when we already took him out Sunday. Open to comment, and I'll literally put it to a vote. Do I go, or is it ok to stay home?
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I'm working on getting the
I'm working on getting the kid to eat healthier. Thanks to me, he now eats meatballs with sauce (doesn't like the pasta), roast beef with ketchup, roast chicken with BBQ sauce, and some other stuff that daddy didn't even know he would eat before I came along.
The issue is that it ISN'T his real bday dinner. He had a bday breakfast, we took him to eat this past Saturday night too, and THAT was a bday dinner. How many does he need before dad quits acting like a guilty parent, because he wasn't there on the actual day?
I agree. I would say to DH,
I agree. I would say to DH, we already celebrated his b-day a couple times. When you say it just don't say it in a "what would be mean" way so DH doesn't take it out of context. Unless you want to get the point across then just say it. Then say instead of going out again why don't we just make dinner at home. We don't need to go out every week.
If you don't want to go,
If you don't want to go, don't go.
"He needs to spend some quality time with his son" and this is the perfect opportunity.
I think I'd stay home.
I think I'd stay home. Especially since you took him out for Birthday Breakfast. This is starting to sound like my DH and his Birthday Week...haha...it's slowly becoming Birthday Month, and before I know it, it will be Birthday Year. Every day is about me!
In all seriousness though - nothing wrong with staying home and chilling out for a day. And if DH insists on having restaurant food, have him order it and bring it back to the house.
Good luck!
Thanks y'all. It helps to
Thanks y'all. It helps to know that I'm not just being selfish because I don't want to go spend more money and not have a good time, just to make them happy. I haven't had any time to myself since July, so I think I will take y'all's suggestion and get a chick flick, pile in bed with some 15 bean soup, and enjoy the peace til they get back and turn on America's Funniest Home videos, and the squealing-fingernails-down-blackboard-pitched laughter starts (cannot WAIT til that kid's voice changes).
Ha! My 10 year old SS's
Ha! My 10 year old SS's voice is still crazy screechy! When he turned 10 in July he said he wanted his voice to not be so squeaky as a birthday present!
I would just stay home and
I would just stay home and relax if that's what you want to do. Your FSS may really enjoy just spending some one on one time with dad. You don't have to go all the time. I also agree about the constant eating out. If your dh really feels the need to treat him (yet again) then he can make his favorite meal at home and put candles on the table and make a big to do. I used to let the kids pick out our friday night meal-they alternated weeks-we set the table with our best dishes and had a wonderful meal. They absolutely loved it (unfortunately our Fridays are much busier now and we can't do this-but I think I need to try another night!) I remember for one of ss's bday-I think his 9th-my dh was out of town and we were doing a party over the w/e, but I wanted to do something on the actual day-so I took him to the store, he picked out the meal, the cake, and we all had a great time.
I have to add this, since it
I have to add this, since it relates to FSS8's bday. BM bought train-crazy kid a train set (he already had one, but hey, get him another). He has 2 broken train sets at our place, and FDh wasn't going to replace them before Christmas, because he wants J to learn to take better care of his toys and not be so rough with them.
Anyway, I ask him on Yahoo Messenger what he plans to get J for his bday (had to wait til he got paid due to car and vet expenses this month). There was silence for 20 min. I knew he was at his computer, since he was working on a fossil picture, so I knew he was delaying answering me. I start thinking "uh huh, the guilt parent syndrome is acting up, he's going to break down and get a train set, because he wants to beat mom's gift." he had been planning on getting him a tv to go with the dvdplayer I got him,, as well as The Clapper, since he asked for that (wierd kid y'all).
After 20 min of silence, I ask if BM has invited us to Js party this Saturday. Immediate answer of no, so I was right, he was delaying. So I ask if he wanted to get J something other than tv. He says he's getting The Clapper, and that's it, that "he has enough crap." Could have knocked me over with a feather! I totally misjudged it! I was expecting a $300 present, and wouldn't have said a word about it (his choice what to spend his money on), and then he says the OPPOSITE of what I expected. Wow. So we are going looking for The Clapper tomorrow night (harder to find than you would think).
You can get it at the "As
You can get it at the "As seen on TV" stores. Some malls have them. Otherwise, Walgreens. Don't ask. The company was a previous client of mine.
Thanks! I looked at Wal
Thanks! I looked at Wal Mart's website, and they don't have it at any of our local stores. I knew SOMEONE has to have it here in town, but I swear, The Clapper? Wierd kid. Although I don't think he's going to enjoy it as much as he thinks he will, since it triggers at any loud noise (so yelling for dad at bedtime will turn the light off and on, meaning he prolly gonna lose priviledge of it with the quickness if dad has to go in there more than once). Thanks for the tip!
Not sure if you have a
Not sure if you have a Hamerick's in your area, but they have a ton of As Seen on TV stuff.
I'm spayed, and he is
I'm spayed, and he is neutered (and 48, so didn't want anymore anyway, thank GAWD). But A.Deville is right, don't just assume the BM is the cause of any mental or physical problems. She probably didn't start out that way, the kids probably drove here there
Had an idea: What if you tell
Had an idea: What if you tell Dad that you are gonna sit this one out so that SS and he can have some quality one-on-one bonding time? What if you say that that way you can get some much needed alone/relaxation time, so it works out perfect for everyone? It's a win/win here. Same stuff was going on over here and I just pushed it off on them under the title of parent/child bonding time and I would stay home and relax. The frequency of the guilt/going out to eat pretty much went away. When Dad's have to do it by themselves with just their kids, it kind of seems to lose it's frequency and desire.
Sidenote Trigger-- Everytime
Sidenote Trigger--
Everytime I read your blogs I read them with a southern accent. Probably because of the "y'all". LOVE IT!
South Alabama, Gulf Coast
South Alabama, Gulf Coast region.
Update to last night. I got
Update to last night. I got home, and FDH had taken FSS8 to Wal Mart to get his bday present. He ended up letting FSS8 pick out a K'nex set (those were SO much cooler when they were made of metal and you could make prison shanks out of the tracks). He decided that The Great Clapper Hunt just wasn't worth the gas money for something FSS8 would tire of after 20 minutes.
I told him I wasn't feeling too well (actually not a lie, since the greasy food at lunch had my stomach asking wft I was thinking). They both begged me to go, so I caved and went (people pleaser, born and bred). When BM arrived later to pick up FSS8, he told me as he was leaving that he was very sorry I was sick, and he hoped I feel better. Sniff. Sniff. I retract at least 2 things I said about that kid. That was super sweet.
In this case I would cook a
In this case I would cook a nice meal at home for the boy. My DH also does whatever his daughter wants to do and it gets real old real quick. Cook a nice meal and hang a balloon or two.
So sweet!
So sweet!