soo tired of dealing with this
So we told BM that she needed to meet halfway or pay for half the gas.. She tried to say that she would just drop SS off at our house and "inspect" it to make sure it is safe for "her son". Mind you this is after she previously broke into the house, and called the cops after being at the in laws. Now she is mad and making him drive all the way down there to pick him up at the daycare GRRRR. I'm so tired of everytime we have his son it turning into a huge fight between them, and a monster of problems with her. Something has to give she is very impossible to deal with. She has been jerking him around so much, to talk about arrangements she called DH to meet her on MSN because for some reason that was the only way to talk about it. She wont let any one else pick SS up but she also wont take off work to drop him off herself although my DH has to take off at least 4 hours. The CO is also very vauge with everything so its hard to tell what we can actually do to prevent her from being unreasonable about things.
- sweethoney's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
so if she drives the kid to
so if she drives the kid to you and "inspects" will she have a handout for gas?
no we would drive down to
no we would drive down to where she lives to drop him off so it would be even.
this was the biggest bitch i
this was the biggest bitch i had when first coming into my DH's life. i thought it was such a pain in the ass to pick up/deliver his skids. he justified it to himself that it was more quality time with his kids and that way he didnt' have to deal with BM coming to our house. it's only a 30 min drive one way but to me it was more of a make that bitch do some work too!!! it's SSSSOOOOOOO nice now that the ss17 has a license adn he can drive himself to us. Contact with BM is becoming less and less!!!
My SS is only 2 1/2 so we
My SS is only 2 1/2 so we have a loooong time with dealing with this. Everything is convenience to her and I'm tired of it. On the bright side though I won and she will not be allowed anywhere near my house! I cannot wait until we have little to no contact with her I'm sure it is great lol
Hello - she does not need to
Hello - she does not need to inspect our house - keep her out - if she has any concerns have her call child services and let them in - that is bullshit - you need to go by the CO and nothing else or the next 15 1/2 years are going to be hell. -- sorry I wrote this before I read you post above me - but just follow Court Order!!
oh my, I feel for you on that
oh my, I feel for you on that one, at least my SS can't talk to much yet, but I'm sure that is to come. I love this site and knowing there are people that go through the same things we do.
As a BM with 100% placement
As a BM with 100% placement and who takes care of everything 26 days of the month... It was the least that my ex could do--pick up drop off for his time. My DH... would do pick up drop off for his week and BM would do pick up drop off for her week.
It always worked out. Well, let's just say it was the least of our conflicts.
See that's the thing-SM or
See that's the thing-SM or NCp complain abotu this-but who else drives the kids aroudn the other 26 days out of the month AND takes care of them?
I take my kids to practices, games, to friends houses, to the mall, take them to school in the morning, on and on.
And unlike what some here experience my exh never did fight for more custody-he didn't want the responsibility. And I guarantee you many women on this board have dh's that did exactly that also.
It bothered me to no end that my exh would start TELLING me I HAD TO do half of the driving. Ummm nope .first of all it was IN the divorce papers. He could have contested that (that he had to provide the drive back/forth for visitation). But he chose to not read almost anything in there. Lucky for him I didn't take advantage because i'm not a bitch.
That said-I know with his current job he does drive a lot...and even though his visitation is Fri-Sun EOW...he has to work Sat am-so rather then find his own sitter arrangements for Sat am he just doesn't take them till he's back from work. Unfair since I have to make sitter arrangements when I'm working for the whole week-pay after school or a sitter. But I digress
BUT regardless still with that-I will drive them to meet up on Sat, he returns them Sunday.
I understand his side more though that I hear my bf gripe about always having to do pickup/dropoff...but I do remind him my side also. We've actually learned a lot from eachother about putting ourselves in the Bio and NCP shoes. It's created growth/empathy in a good way.
I have an Ex who also works
I have an Ex who also works Saturdays... And I understand since we have a flat rate CS amount he uses Saturdays to make extra cash to counter CS... Oh well.... get your own sitter. This is also a good time for the kids to spend with their grandparents if they are available. I would tell ex that he has 26 days of the week to work overtime or do side jobs.. schedule accordingly.. I am not his baby sitter 4 days of the month.
Now that the kids are teens they have jobs, dances, etc.. this month with homecoming and the 20th annual family Halloween party he will only see them maybe for one weekend. May none at all since he still hasn't decided if this weekend he will go bow hunting.
We used to switch or swap weekends.. no more.. it's a hassle to keep track and interferes with long-term planning. If he chooses to miss a weekend, oh well... He only lives 18 minutes away and can spend time with the kids whenever they are available.
I have never withheld and always encourage more time outside of the CO... he never challenged for more time; in fact, had 50/50 and it was too much for him. I can count on one hand how many times he returned them later than 6pm Sunday--even though the CO says 7pm...
It would be great-and if he
It would be great-and if he had family that lived here it would likely be easier. But all his family is out of the country.
There is no way he would pay a sitter for what I should do according to him
You can't argue with illogical people. As soon as he feels "put upon" he starts threatening to leave the country-douche.
My parents already watch my boys 3 days a week after school till I get home. I would never impose Saturday on them. Pretty soon they'll be having their bsktball games every sat am so that'll take care of that I guess. It's just hard to get an extended break to regroup/errands/clean/downtime.
It is hard to get regrouping
It is hard to get regrouping time!
BTW, I didn't mean that you should send the kids to their grandparents.. I meant that my ex could have his parents spend time with the kids.. they only see those grandparents on holidays, or if I arrange visits..
"she wants to save what she
"she wants to save what she writes" I completely understand that but you can also do that through texts and emails and she wanted to manipulate the convo because she was also texting him while they were talking through messanger, I'm more thinking what steps we will have to take in order to get a low contact order through CO so it cannot be abused.
yeah we used to have a more
yeah we used to have a more "open" agreement with her until she started to play unfair, a few months ago she broke into our house literally climbed through our kitchen window to take her dog that my Dh had, had for over a year, also the last time we let her come by she called the cops at the in laws house because she was upset I was there. We are just having an awful time with it and decided a less contact as possible with me and my BS is best suited for now. If things were diff I would have no problem with it. Hopefully situations will change as the kids get older for the least impact on my SS
haha we will have to look
haha we will have to look into that