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hrtbroke40's picture

Submitted by hrtbroke40 on Sun, 09/19/2010 - 10:07pm

Well, DH left today and is not coming home. Says he does not know why he married me and does not believe in counselling so there is nothing I can do at this point. All I know is I tried and have hurt for 41/2 years or more from the neglect I have felt from him. That is a long time to go without any affection or intimacy. I guess he just wanted a mother for his child. I hope I hear how that all turns out.

Comments

WHERESMYWART's picture

Submitted by WHERESMYWART on Sun, 09/19/2010 - 11:25pm

I am so so so sorry to hear this but maybe it is for the best. Good luck to you and know that you are not alone here. I can see where you feel used and I often feel that myself. Please let us know if we can do anything for you. God Bless!

glam-mom's picture

Submitted by glam-mom on Sun, 09/19/2010 - 11:29pm

i know what its like to feel neglected and almost like an outsider but if i give u advice ... itll be advice that i should listen to myself so all i can say is good luck, much sympathy to u, and with every negative situation comes a couple positives too... at least u wont feel neglected anymore every day and every second

hrtbroke40's picture

Submitted by hrtbroke40 on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 6:37am

Thank you for everything. I appreciate all the kind words. Just taking it one day at a time. That is all I can do. I just wish I had found this site before now. Sucks that I didn't. Who knows where I would have been.

tofurkey's picture

Submitted by tofurkey on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 8:00am

I'm so sorry. Sad I hope you find someone wonderful who will give you the attention you deserve!

Couldawouldashoulda's picture

Submitted by Couldawouldashoulda on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 12:32pm

I know you probably don't wanna hear this right now, but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Later you will say, "thank god that happened, or I would never have met _____________." Our hearts are so with you!

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 12:50pm

Or even:

"thank god that happened, or I would never have realized that I deserve so much better!"

hrtbroke40's picture

Submitted by hrtbroke40 on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 10:03pm

Thank you guys so much!! I am just living day to day even though I know this only hurts for awhile but what he was doing to me was hurting everyday. I know i will get over this and move on. Something has to come out of this, it just has too!! NO MORE BRAT!!!! Now that was mean but I do feel better!!!lol I just wish I could stay and watch how this plays out in the next 5 years but maybe she will be on tv for something!! Oh did I mean BM is in prison cause she is a crackhead and has dumped 2 kids on their fathers at a young (still in diapers) age!!! Her mother did it to her but she was raised by a good aunt who did none of the above but she still got in the same cycle!!!

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Mon, 09/20/2010 - 11:25pm

I agree with the others, I was dating a guy with 3 boys before I met my dh and I was so hurt that he broke up with me. His boys for the most part was good and their mom was good too. I have to admit she was a good bm. But looking back I can see where my ex his a disney dad and would not have changed. I look on that now as a preparation for my dh now and his boys yep you got that dh has 3 boys my ex has 3 boys. Weird I know but I really loved him but I can see how that was not a great situation for me or my kids. Dh now is the best thing ever. He is the best dad ever too. He loves my kids just like his own and he doesn't let bm or his kids rule our house, WE rule it together.

purpledaisies's picture

Submitted by purpledaisies on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 10:37am

Yeah windee it is great. Now dh wasn't always like this. It took a few years to get things in order. He put down a lot of rules and I compromised on a few things. What we do is this, if something comes up that we disagree on we will start see what we can change about it and live with, such as, I was raising my kids that they eat what I fix period, dh was raising his boys that they can eat whatever they want including making several meals each night. What we did was decided that it was ok for the kids to not like what I made and could have a peanut butter sandwich and that was all they could have. But I'll tell you 9 times out of 10 they will eat what I made, this also made h realize that the boys would just say they didn't like something just to eat what they wanted.

Like I said it took a while to get to this point. Smile

hrtbroke40's picture

Submitted by hrtbroke40 on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 6:46am

You all give me hope and I thank you for the comments. I woke up angry this morning and really feeling like I can conquer this. I have realized how dysfunctional he is and will never get any better. This has been lifelong with him and never able to committ. I do feel for the child who is the true one suffering in all of this. May God be with her but I know God is on my side and right beside me all the way! My faith will get me through this and anything else I have to face. There is no wonder she has all these issues and will keep having them mainly because she has no stability in her life. I know nothing but stability and will fight for being stable. Nothing wrong with being stable.

WHERESMYWART's picture

Submitted by WHERESMYWART on Tue, 09/21/2010 - 8:20am

I agree with previous posters on here and I think you are right to trust in God in this situation. He will lead you safely through the storm to the other side. I truly believe we are given all kinds of people in our lives, some to love us and some to hurt us, to make us who we need to be.