HMMMMMMMMMMM........
Starfish's blog got me to thinking....
Why is it always "oh, poor kids (skids), they're the product of divorce they need extra attention, lavish vacations, tons of new clothes and toys and don't dare offer them anything except their most favorite foods to eat, they're so fragile, the darlings!"
and why is it that this same school of thought doesn't apply to my bios? I mean, logically speaking, both sets of kids are the products of divorce, both sets have experienced all the heartbreak and confusion and going back and forth between parents. So, why is it that when it comes to the blended family pity party, my kids aren't invited?
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Yep...that's about sums it up
Yep...that's about sums it up in a nutshell...
Their whining and nagging
Their whining and nagging makes me sick :sick: and I just want to sock MIL and DH for enabling their behavior!
Exactly, where does it end?
Exactly, where does it end? How far are we going to take this whole charade?
Its disgusting...I never knew this type of thing even existed before my baptism inot the steparenting world.
P.I. This has been a delicate
P.I.
This has been a delicate ballance during our entire marriage. My wife comes from a less than financially successful back ground and she had SS out of wedlock as a teen mom. She really was Sixteen and Pregnant. Her natural instinct is to "give him the things that (she) never had" and to not allow either our son or herself to be a statistic of single parenthood. So ... she tends to spoil the crap out of him.
Though I have not been entirely successful in countering her tendencies on these issues, for the most part we have managed to hold our son accountable for his actions, raised him to be a decent young man and provided him the example of our marriage on how two viable adults make a life together, make a family and raise a child. We can't fix the issues he inherited from the poluted end of his gene pool. He will ultimately have to deal with those himself. However, we have given him all of the tools we know of so he can fix the crap he has to deal with from his SpermClan.
I am sorry to say this ..... but the "child of divorce" label is just bullshit and a cop out on parenting IMHO.
Your Bios will likely grow to be viable adults, your Skid likely never will.
IMHO of course.
Best regards,
I agree 100% Rags, and have
I agree 100% Rags,
and have tried my best to explain this to DH. He just doesn't seem to get it. And, it may sound selfish, but who am I to try and intervene by taking up the slack and trying to teach them life lessons when he won't. I have 3 bios to do this with.
good question... and i have
good question... and i have to agree the children are taught to play the victim role. i am a hcild of divorce and never remember anybody in my family teaching me how to play the victim card..
in my case, mil is the culprit (supported by tree hugging sil) for why skids are so entitled. and she does a shit load of guilting on dh, which is probably why dh is getting worse, mil is laying it on thicker...
I also feel that this I am a
I also feel that this I am a child of divorce is crap. I am a child of mental, physical, emotional and sexual abuse for the first 6 years of my life. I was never taught that because of the crappy hand I was dealt in the beginning of life that I should expect the world to bow at my feet and grant me every wish.
I was adopted at 6 and I felt BLESSED that someone quite literally saved my life - my adoptive parents. I always feel I need to pay back in my life those less fortunate because I was given a second chance at life. I am a survivor and have never expected nothing. I grew up in a family of all abused and handicap children and we were never taught by our adoptive parents the "Oh poor little old me" way of life. No you pull your load and put in a honest day's work - treat others as you would want to be treated - and the best one no life is not always fair - so suck it up!!!