Child Support
I need some advice on how you all handle child support. My husband pays a substantial amount of money to my SS BM. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that she doesn't spend it on what HE needs, it has been going to her other 2 very young kids the past 2 years. Now we found out that she is preganant again. She doesn't work. So my question is, do your husband's talk to the BM about the money and on what it is being spent? Have any of you had to have a talk with the BM about getting ready to adjust to not getting the money after the kid turns 19? (The age at which my husband stops paying child support is 19). She is so dependent on it for her other kids now, she's going to be in a world of hurt in 5 years (SS will be 17, but he will have graduated high school, so he will need to ask BM for the money after he moves out...she had better not keep it!)
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My DH just pays it. As long
My DH just pays it. As long as my SS basic needs are met he doesn't ask any questions.
Why would it be your or your DH responsibility to make sure BM has her financial life in order once your SS is not in her home?
Broken Blue Crayon is right;
Broken Blue Crayon is right; it's not ur responsibility to make sure BM is financially secure after that point. I know what you r going through my SD13 BM got several hundreds of dollars plus we had to buy her stuff she needed for school, sports and play time. Where does it go; I say it should go to the kid first then whatever. In the end it doesn't matter what the BP spends it on; isn't that sad? Now that we have had her for 3m; BM has only handed HER $40. It is crazy... BM says she can't offord it, she has 3 other kids ~ give me a break we have four as well!! now that school has started lunches are 2.00 per kid ~ times 4 kids!! It is a loosing battle with CS; the state I live in is for the women ~ men get the sh*t end of the stick; which in some cases is truely sad...
If your SS graduates high
If your SS graduates high school and moves out of BM's house at age 17, then DH should file to end his CS obligation. He might need proof of SS's age, graduation date and current address to show that he no longer lives with BM.
I should have been more
I should have been more specific in my post. @spunki - why isn't it our issue? We also have to pay for clothes for when he visits us, shoes, fees for the crap he pretends to like, kits for school projects, school supplies, haircuts...should I go on? He doesn't have what he needs, so why can't we question that? She sure doesn't need any questions answered when she wants to increase the payment.
I didn't know my husband could file to end his CS obligation once SS is out of the house. Problem is, BM probably already knows this and will do what she can to keep him there to get the check! I'll look into that. Thanks!
If we don't do the extras, he
If we don't do the extras, he suffers. Plain and simple. He looks like an orphan when we pick him up. His clothes are always 12 sizes too big and mismatched. His shoes never fit. He's typically down to one page left in a notebook for school with dilapidated binders and folders in which to put his homework. He wants to be in sports, she can't afford the appropriate shoes and uniform. He can't play sports in shoes that are too big. If we don't get him a haircut, he'll never get one, hence why in a previous post I mentioned my concern with him not showering. So again, we do it because if WE don't, he suffers.
While I appreciate your
While I appreciate your ideas, they just won't work. We live 2 hours from the town he lives in.
Yes. Yes. You (generally
Yes. Yes.
You (generally speaking) really don't have a plethera of options.
You (in general) can either continue to support BM and provide for SS...
or, you(genral) can seek legal counsel for custody.