I am so sorry you are going through this my asshole first husband (which thankfully I did not have children with) would never let his mother date anyone (mind you his father was living with a woman since 2 years after his mom and dad separated). When I met and married him he was 27 and would make life hell for anyone that tried to date his Mom. It was so annoying to me that she could not be happy with someone and his dad could be living with someone. I could never understand why he acted this way and I always felt bad for the guys trying to date his mom. She is a great lady with an awesome sense of humour.

Fast forward 18 years and I just got a call from his cousin that his mom is dying of lung and brain cancer. I was able to talk with her - (my Ex just got married again this year and she hates the new wife - she told me on the phone I was the best daughter in law she ever had and this with him sitting right there) I felt so bad that she has no one outside of her kids to be with her at this time when she must be very afraid. And yeah it is nice to have your kids around but they are all married with children and have lives so in the middle of the night when she is up due to being sick from Chemo or just afraid they will be with their spouses and she will be alone. It is really very selfish what your SS is doing and from your bio you have been married 22 years a long time to put up with the bullcrap.

Your SK's are adults and need to be treated as such. I read your other post about sleeping in different beds - you both need to sit down and really talk this out. The wedding is over - you both probably have valid points but why let this ruin your relationship - your SS is married and of course now that baby is coming I hope he realizes he will no longer be the baby and now your wife will be paying attention to her new grand child - he may be in for a rude awakening when he realizes he is no longer #1. There is nothing like a grandchild for grandparents - they can do no wrong and the attention and money she has been spending on SS will now be diverted to Grandbaby - you may need to have a talk about the money so that she does not spend it all on the baby. And I hope you let her know that you will not be paying for that apartment - when I got married I went to my parents to ask them for the money they put aside for each daughter when they got married. My mom laughed and said Oh we thought you were never getting married so we spent it on a Custom Van - sorry. I was 29 at the time. I never got mad at them for not helping out - I was an adult I had waited until 29 so I paid for my own wedding.

I also think you need to stop taking it - the abuse - if after 22 years it has not changed - IT NEVER WILL - you would not take this crap from a friend so don't take it from him. If your wife sees you standing up for yourself you may get a positive reaction from her then again she may be mad but at least you know you stood up to SS and even better he knows that you stood up to him!!

Good luck with all of this - prayers sent your way.

It seems like you maybe making a mountain out of mole hill. I feel like it wasn't just the "cutting in on the dance" that upset you, but maybe that was the last straw! I think you and dw should sit and discuss openly what you are both feeling. I'm sure she is upset about you leaving her at the wedding because that is an event that really only happens once! Even if the marriage doesn't work out, she will always remember that day. It's been 22years and he is still disrespecting you? Why haven't you had a man to man chat with him? I don't think you should have left, but since you did you need to apologize, state your feelings, listen to hers (very important to listen) and find a common place to move forward from. She is obviously hurt and you need to discuss prior to it getting to anger and the resentment. Ask her how you can make it up to her.