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Freaking out... will state take my kids because of a lie ???

drkstr's picture

I am the parent of 2 BC and 1 SD. H and I have been together for 5 years and all along his BD has had some real problams. She was raised 50% of the time by her BM who is a crack addict. She did crack while pregnant with this child and this child has been a major issue in our blended family home. She lies, steals, cheats, and hurts myself and my kids, breaks and throws away our things and numerous other little things like using my tooth brush to swipe the toilet. Up until this point hubby has been pretty incapable of seeing her behavior because he dosent want to believe that her own mom had any influence in this childs personality, or that his lovely little beast is capable of the things she has done. In the last 6 months she pulled the worst manipulation yet and used a bic razor to put minor cuts on her arm in an effort to get daddy to leave our marriage by saying she did this because I am mean to her. The meanest thing i have ever done to this child is call her out on her hidious behavior. The lying, stealing and hurthing the kids and myself. She started her period last year and outrightly refused to wear a pad or tampoon cuz she dosent like it and bleeds all over my home so i made her scrub up the mess and help me do her laundry after the 5th or 6th time she bled through 4 pair of pants, underwear and pajamas. This has all been so much and finally after the cutting herself incident i convinced Hubby she really needs help. She started counseling and the counselor even told hubby that she simly hates your wife and her kids because she wants it to just be you 2 again because of her abandonment issues over her own mom who hasnt been able to see her for several years because she is a drug addict, and she also blames that on your new wife. After months of counseling and the counselor wanting to put the girl on medication because she is getting little if nowhere with her she suggests she see a psyciotrist to work toward those ends. She promptly went into the psychis office and told him blatently "I BEAT MY CHILDREN". Not only has this never happened which we both assure the psych but he imforms us that he is obligated to report me to the authorities. My own history is that of a hidioius divorce from an unstable man. who would love nothing more then to take the kids from me just to give them to his mom so he could a. hurt me and b. not pay child support. Hubby and I had a very long battle over last weekend becauise i told him that our marriage simply was not enough for me to loose my children and that is what could happen. I would love to be foolish enough to think that CPS is gonna come here talk to my kids and husband and myself and say hey that girl needs help and that would be the end of this but i know social services can really be jacked up and that i could loose my kids over false allegations by a little psychopath who after days of talking to daddy finally admited that is what she told them and it was because she wants me out of the picture. OMG Help me what am i supposed to do. i do not want my marriage over but i certinaly cannot put my kids welfare on the block for this. What do i do???? I am currently unemployed and applied for a disability because of my own health issues due to a broiken neck and degenerative spine issues, lupus and fromyalgia. I am a good mother and a good person. I think my hubby has finally seen just what she is capable of. I dont have any faith though after 5 years of being thrown under the bus for this child that he will man up and make her be responsible for her behavior. There have never been any consequences for her lies or stealing or any of the horrid behavior. What am i to do ????

Comments

peaceofmind's picture

Oh my gosh your situation sounds horriable. I definitely don't think that you should have to live like this or your children. I understand that you are in such a tough spot because that same love and need to protect your children your DH has for his child. I'm sure it is hard for him because he loves her and feels bad because her mom is not around and he wants to make up for that with over compensating. Same problem I have with my DH. You don't have to tolerate it. I also think your SD needs a lot of therpy.

buttercookie's picture

If they do an investigation they will find out she is lying. Do your best to not play into this childs hand and to protect yourself and your children. I think limited visits should also be enforced until this child is properly medicated and learns to stop lying.