It just dawned on me DH simply does not have what it takes to hold his child responsible for his actions. He simply is not capable of administering the reality therapy this young man of 22 so desperately needs to become a person of integrity. Yet another chapter in the family drama. SS lost his job and does not have any employable skills. DH asked if I can help with job search but I simply cannot recommend SS for employment or ask anyone else to do so. He is habitually truant, been caught sleeping on the job and cheated on his time sheet. He does not perform his work duties, he is just a lazy punk. Had 3 jobs in the recent past and was was fired from 2 of them. This young man has absolutely zero integrity, he is a cheat, a lowlife, a loser and a thief. Yet when SS broke into our house while we were on vacation, stole from us, invaded our privat space... etc DH did NOTHING. Actually I take that back, he "had a talk" with his son. When I suggested that this passive behavior will have reprecussions in the future he got angry with me. Now he agrees that he should have done something right then and there, yet he does not learn from these mistakes as he makes the exact same ones again. So I finally got it. He does not and never will get past his discomfort of disciplining his son. His childs behavior is an accumulation and reflection of the interaction he had with his father and that he was never held responsible for anything. This is it folks it will not get any better. We had therapy, we had talks we have tried everything. As DH will never change neither will his son. 14 years of repeated abuse from SS resulted in my complete disengagement from SS life. DH not only facilitated the abuse he was directly responsible for allowing it to go on. I am at a point where I have lost all respect for DH. Truly sad as it is the beginning of the end of our 14 year relationship.