I'm iffy on this one.

Sometimes I think I would like full custody of my skid because it would make things easier. Not on me per se, but on the kid. He often complains that he hates going back and forth, etc etc. I'm also concerned that he's not getting enough attention at his mom's house, and I sometimes worry about their financial situation as they barely live above the poverty line.

Having said that... I've been having a lot of issues with my SS, issues that I don't have to deal with when he leaves. It's refreshing....

Having said that... (lol) I don't think my SS would like to be a part from his mother that long, and I don't think it would be in his best interest simply from an emotional stand point...

Bottom line is I don't have an answer. As of now, we have him 50% of the time, if not more.

When DH first got full custody I was totally supportive, we were looking through rose colored glasses. Yay! We'll have our weekends and SS will be well adjusted and we will be able to give him a family that doesn't get drunk and fistfight, WRONG!!!

Now I wish we only had joint custody. I would take every weekend if we didn't have to see him everyday. I know its harsh, but I'd stay with DH if that was the case.

We would like full custody of SD5. She is a great kid (for the moment) but growing up with a manipulative, lazy, lieing, whore of a mom. My husband and I are both afraid she will grow up to follow in her footsteps.

If I had my choice, BM would get to see SD at X-mas vacation, spring break, and for perhaps a month out of the summer. BM would have to pay for at least 50% of the transportation costs for these adventures. I would ideally like the stipulation that BM is not to leave SD unattended with her own mother, who has been known to beat SD (in the face) with a flip-flop. Hitting her hard enough to leave imprints on her face from the 'bubbles' on the bottom. BM's mother has also broken BM's 3yo son's nose by being too rough with punishment.

Ugghh...It's a tough call. We have full custody of SS17. Perfectly nice kid, I actually do all the parenting. He doesn't bother me or disrespect me. So as far as HE is concerned I'm ok with it. However, SD9...I don't think I'd want her. She's being raised by a moron who has the personality of a tree stump. Ugly inside and out, lazy & illiterate. SD9 is growing in her footsteps and I don't think I'd have the patience to try and "fix" her.

I wouldn't mind having FC of SS15. He's a great, mature and respectful kid. At 15 he pretty much can make up his own mind as far as when he wants to see what parent and for how long. We also leave the holidays up to him as well. BM tends to dictate what, where and how long he can do anything. Not for the sake of her wanting to spend time with him, it's nothing more than a control issue with her. That and she feels SS15 is her built-in free babysitter for her 4 year old.

DH and I wanted and got full custody of SS at age 14. Although it was not under the circumstances that we always hoped for. BM refused any visitation with SS during the time that he was with us. We asked her to visit once/month in the beginning. She visited SS only 2 times in the year that SS lived with us, and those were only 1-2 hour visits before she brought him back without even feeding him dinner. It was her way of getting even with SS for choosing DH over her.

We already have it and are happy this way.

My Skid would be destined for a life of entitlement living if he had been raised by the SpermClan.

Best regards.

We had primary custody (about 70 percent of the time), going from 50/50 custody before BM moved an hour away. It was hell. SD felt abandoned by BM and took it out on me. DH, instead of stepping up and being the parent he SAID he wanted to be, set out to make SD happy so she would WANT to stay with us (it was an informal arrangement). He managed to do it for four years, until BM's promises of fun won out and SD moved there. I'd much rather see SD on an occasional weekend than have her negative presence in my house every day when I come home from work and every day when I get up in the morning. Those four years were SO difficult for us!

Im iffy on this one as well. I think I would want DH to have full custody because sd listens to dh better and he actually teaches her stuff like riding her bike and tying her shoes and alphabet stuff. I know alot of the cooking/cleaning and stuff would be put on me though. I love my sd, shes a good kid, so I dont think I would mind it, it would just be alot to get used to at first. If not full custody, I would like him to atleast get 50/50 (hes working on that right now, its only EOWE currently) with him having her EOWE and then two days during the weeks he doesnt have her on the weekends. OR like thursday-Sunday every week.

2 weeks in the summer max b/c we live continents apart.... this was hypothetical, right?

I do hope that at some point my SK's come to live with us full time and have visitation with BM like they do with DH now. This is only going to happen if the kids REALLY want to be with us and change schools since we live in a different school district. I think SS11 would come in a heart beat if the decision was his to make. I think SD12 is very loyal to her mom and isn't sure where she wants to finish up school. She starts Jr. High this year and has said she wants to go there for 7th & 8th grade but might want to go to HS with us. Our problem is going to be getting a judge to agree to separate them if it comes to that. They are so close in age and BM doesn't work so her sole income is the CS she receives so I don't think she's likely to every voluntarily let go of it. While she's not a great mom, she's also not exactly a neglectful mom either. She's not a druggy, she's not living with a convict, she doesn't beat the kids so we'd really have zero chance claiming it would be harmful for the kids to remain in her care.

My only fear is that she will at some point throw her hands up once SS is older and decide she can't handle him anymore and then we will get to 'fix it' by him coming to live with us. He already has zero respect for her and has called DH a couple of times crying and saying his mom was being a 'bitch' and asking DH to come get him. DH did after talking to BM and her saying that they were fighting and she thought it would be a good idea for him to go with DH for the day to calm down. This was when SS was only 10 and he's already fighting with her and calling her names that my children would NEVER DREAM of saying!!

Right now we are having to go to court to just get Friday, Sunday and Wednesday overnights because she doesn't think it's in their best interest (Read: she doesn't want to be without a helper for her toddler that many nights per week!)

If it were entirely up to me, we would have EOW as opposed to 50/50. If that were not possible, FC would be better than 50/50. But EOW would keep BM out of my hair (and my driveway)!

Unless those children's well-being is at stake: DON'T DO IT!!!! I used to wish for it too. Be careful what you wish for. It might come back to bite you in the ass. I had a great relationship with my SD's before they moved in.....THEN I got to see them for what they really are: two-faced liars. BM Jr. and miniBM

We were non-custodial. The kids decided to live with us a few years ago. They were of legal age to make the decision, so the judge granted it without hesitation. We had been non-custodial for years.

It is wonderful! I have absolutely no regrets. We have total control of the way the kids are being raised. They spend about two weeks a year at their mom's house. She has very little influence on their character. The change in the kids has been amazing.

We didn't request any child support. But we are no longer paying $2700 a month to a women who shouldn't be caring for a cat, much less two kids.

I used to want it when they were younger. I thought if we could minimize the influence of BM they might grow up to be honest, compassionate people.

Now they are 5 and 7 years old and to be honest, I think it's too late to do much in the way of shaping their personalities. They are carbon copies of BM now.

I'm not saying they can't learn to be nice people but at this point certain things are hardwired and their thought processes are pretty much set in stone. Their opinions can still change but I think it's too late to change their basic personalities - which are extremely selfish with a feeling of entitlement.

So, if we could get full custody now I'd have to think long and hard about it. If we could have gotten it 4 years ago I would have jumped at the chance.

It would be great to have primary residential custody, EOWE visitation for BM and CS from BM. The decree says 50/50 rotating physical custody with BOTH BM and DH being designated as primary residential, neither party ordered to pay CS due to said 50/50 rotating, but it's never been 50/50, even when she lived just minutes away. Now she lives an hour away and BM has been having SS EOWE during school, Spring Break, some Winter holidays and most of summer. It would be much easier if the court papers reflected what has been reality for years - DH taking care of SS 99% of the time - plus the more recent EOWE. Of course, the papers DO say that DH has to pay for everything and we do because SS is here all the time. She pays for extra non-essential fluff.

Im sure DH would want it but I am too selfish

Full Custody!! either I would start drinking heavily or land up in a rubber room, drooling

I do not want full custody of SK10. It is bad enough as it is. The only way it would ever happen is if I was to truly parent he way I want and teach the kid some manners, rules, and structure. She thinks she owns the house and can do whatever she wants. She doesn't listen to a word I say. I feel like a broken record. All she does is sit on the couch and watch tv all day. No wonder she all most stayed back this year in school. They only passed her because she was moving. Only once I knew for sure the guilty parenting was over would I consider full custody. Until then never going to happen. She demands too much from me and I can't give it. She can't think or do anything for own. It is really sad and I am done trying to help.