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So disgusted with SS15 and ridiculous BM

LizGrace65's picture

The wake / funeral for SS15's friend who was killed was 6 to 8 today at a local church.

SO has been going over to the family's house every day since last Thursday when we found out the boy had died from injuries sustained in a crash over the holiday weekend which killed the friend who was driving and seriously injured the two other young men in the car.

I haven't been going with SO to the house in order not to make the family feel uncomfortable, since they knew SO initially when he was with BM and they don't really know me. I encouraged SO to go in order to support the family.

SS went there once for 5 minutes with BM.

The young man who was killed was SS's best friend when SS first lived with me. He's the only friend SS ever had "sleepovers" with, was the most important friend at the only really big birthday bash we ever threw SS, went with us on day trips, etc. Three or four years ago they drifted into different peer groups, but they were still definitely friends.

Our town is pretty close knit. Two boys 18 and under were killed and two others seriously injured by the crash. Everyone is broken up. There's a Facebook group for the two boys who died that now has over 1000 members. Considering there are around 800 students in the entire high school, you can see the community is very affected.

Hundreds of people came out to the wake / funeral today. Only about 100 could fit in the church. The others waited outside and filed through to pay their respects. The whole town was there.

I went with SO despite being afraid BM might show up and try to cause a scene if she saw me there. SO stayed close to the family to support them, and I stayed at his side and tried to be unobtrusive.

It was a heartbreaking service. I can't even go into detail.

After everything was over, SO sent a text to SS15 saying we just came from the wake and the whole town was there, but not you. When are you going to do the right thing? When are you going to face reality instead of pretending it isn't happening if it's something you don't like?

BM texted SO back that "somebody was supposed to call" SS and tell him where and when the service was, and that they "don't have money" for a car to get over there.

WTF?!

OK, the service details were posted on the Facebook group. There were literally over a hundred of his peers at the service. So he could have looked on Facebook (yes he has an account), or he could have called any of the kids that were there (including at least one of his own cousins). Or BM could have made some phone calls and found out what was going on, like an actual parent.

After all, it was BM who told SO that the young man had passed away to begin with - so she was capable of getting information at that point.

And as for money for a car - the church is literally less than half a mile from BM's apartment. The service was held at 6PM - it is still daylight until almost 9 at this point. It was sunny, no precipitation to worry about. And there are sidewalks the whole way, so there is no danger involved in walking there. I'd be willing to bet that probably half the people there had actually walked.

What a pathetic piece of crap. It is really sad that SS at 15 is incapable of getting the information and showing up on his own. He is going to be 16 next month - please spare me "he doesn't know what to do" - there were as I said over 100 kids his age there. They all knew what to do, apparently it's not that impossible.

And if SS couldn't manage it himself, it's incredibly pathetic that BM didn't figure it out and get him there. That was the right thing to do. This is part of life. That was his friend. The young man's sister who is maybe 14 composed and read a poem in English and Spanish. The about 7 year old little brother came up and spoke to his brother to say you were the best big brother ever and I love you and I'll miss you.

SS15 couldn't even frigging find the place and stand in the back?! Not even with BM's help?!

I am seriously disgusted with both of them.

Comments

LizGrace65's picture

No, she lets him do whatever he wants - that's why he wants to be there instead of here. Even if she would have, he could have snuck over there. He may or may not have gotten caught.

I see what you mean, but I really don't think that's it. I really think they're just that apathetic, lazy and selfish. Both of them. Honestly I would expect this kind of thing from SS more than BM. She may be psycho, but she seems to understand community standards.

Guess she's even worse than I thought.

And thanks.

L

Pantera's picture

I am so sorry for the loss. And Im really sorry that BM couldn't act maturely about the whole situation.

AnneElizabeth's picture

My offer still stands. Do you want to ship SS up here? I'm not saying I can do better than you did, but different people, rules, and the like.

It is incredulous to me that he didn't go given that it was his best friend. Uneffingbelievable..... How much lower can he go? I have watched him grow up and go from being a wonderful kid to being something that I cannot even recognize. WHEN is he going to start thinking and stop being so damned self absorbed? :jawdrop:

Anne Elizabeth.

LizGrace65's picture

Hmmmm - I think that's scheduled for the 6th of NEVER, with "When He!! Freezes Over" as the rain date.

Can't send him anywhere - he's not mine to send at this point. But thanks.

There is a certain freedom in it not being my problem anymore. And there's a *lot* of freedom in being able to sleep naked without having to worry about searching for a robe in order to get up and pee. LOL

L