Email From BM's Mom

I open my email this morning to find an email from BM's Mom. They are usually on the outs so she will communicate with SS through me if she isn't getting along with BM. Now BM and her Mom are getting along. DH said that BM's Mom asked about me at pick up in front of her daughter. What kind of crap is that? And now she writes this. I think its weird. Im already an emotional wreck, I don't need this crap. And why would she automatically assume its because of SS10? I always lie to her and tell her everything is great (because why would I give her or BM the pleasure of knowing that everything is horrible).

Here is the email:

Hey girl, haven't talked to you in awhile. I saw SS10 this weekend and he said you and DH were splitting up. I'm hoping it has nothing to do with SS10. I want you to know that kids can get nasty step mothers and I thought you were great to him. Although I don't really know you, I'm greatful you've been good to my grandson. I'll keep you in my prayers and hope you and DH work things out. Your a beautiful person, and I saw DH this weekend getting SS10, he looks good too. If you ever need anyone to talk to you can call me. I lost your phone number or I would have been in contact with you sooner. I tried to find you on face book. SS10 said your leaving soon. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm not one to give advice about relationships, because I suck at them. But I want to thank you and if by chance you text me, I can't text you back. Take care, you and DH look good together. I wish you the best.

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She doesn't sound malicious,

She doesn't sound malicious, but that whole family is nuts. I really can't tell if she is being sincere or plotting. That whole family is a hot mess. Im not kidding.

I agree. I would go even

I agree. I would go even further and add "I appreciate your concern, but DH and I prefer to keep our business personal."

What is it with meddlesome people??? If it's not their business, why stick their nose in? I don't get it.

Thanks StepAside and Stepoff.

Thanks StepAside and Stepoff. My Mom and Stepmom both said the same thing (even though they both want to write her themselves and tell her to f off, lol). I think I am going to take the high road and leave it alone. She just wants the scoop.

So should I reply or what? I

So should I reply or what? I want to reply but I don't want to reply. I want be levelheaded and mature about things but I also want to rip into everyone (email her back and cc in her daughter and DH)!!!

I agree with those who

I agree with those who suggested writing back but keeping details out of it and subtly letting her know you won't be discussing them with her.

"Hey BM's mom,

Hope all is well. I appreciate the thoughts, but the current situation is being sorted out by DH and myself. Thank you for the concern, though."

I think it sounds sincere, if

I think it sounds sincere, if a little obnoxious. I think it's risky to form a relationship with BM's mother, since they likely won't always be on the outs. I can see why she would go through you, and now that I think of it I can see how it may have been annoying if she went through DH instead, but it's still a less-than-ideal situation. Sorry you got put in such an awkward position! Personally, I would appreciate the thought but definitely would not call BM's mother to talk about relationship problems.

It's weird she would say something about SS10 but I think a lot of grandparents think the world revolves around their grandchildren - that and maybe some of them aren't so blind as to the kind of complications being a stepparent can sometimes cause. I'm not sure if anything was said, by SS10 or BM, to suggest it was because of him but it sounds like she was wondering on her own. -shrug-

don't reply today.... if at

:jawdrop: don't reply today.... if at all..... it doesn't sound malicious, but it does sound like she's snooping for the scoop, don't give it to her.

Im not going to write her. I

Im not going to write her. I think you are right.

I would reply, but just to

I would reply, but just to let her know that it won't be discussed. Dont cc anyone else. She wrote the e-mail, so just reply to her. That will cut off any future e-mails regarding your personal business. I'd let her know that I'd discuss SS, but nothing else. But that's just what I would do...

Oh, the cc part. That was

Oh, the cc part. That was the nonsensible in me.

"F you all, leave me alone, I am moving on to live a happy normal live, Adios" and I would have cc'd in BM and DH, lol. }:)

I am not writing her back.

No need to rush to

No need to rush to replying...is she computer savvy enough to check on when you opened her email to you? If not, how is she to know when you opened it and read it?
I think you should reply. I like StepAside's answer...give her a generic response that doesn't give her anymore info than you want to give.

totally agree: "she is

totally agree:

"she is looking for some drama"

i like not replying at all or a week later like steperg suggested, don't give her & bm the satisfaction of getting under your skin and into your business..

I am leaving though.

exactly, you're leaving ~~

exactly, you're leaving ~~ you don't owe her an explanation/answer.

i say DELETE and move on with the beginning of your new life!!

I'd reply and put all the

I'd reply and put all the focus on the SS and her, nothing about you and your DH. Something vague like "Thank you for your thoughts. Regarding SS, he's a great kid and lucky to have a grandmother who cares about him as much as you, in addition to all the others of us who want only the best for him."

If you reply keep it generic.

If you reply keep it generic. She will find out soon enough if you do leave. She does seem like she cares but also looking for info. Don't give her any.

She is BM"s mother, not your

She is BM"s mother, not your MIL. She has zero business interfering and on that basis I wouldn't answer her.

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