This is going to be a looong entry about my confrontation with BM last night. She's been giving my boyfriend a hard time about coming to see our house etc. You can read my last blog entry if you need more specifics, but pretty much she's been asking since the first day we moved in there to come see the house and she doesn't even have a car so we always have to drop SS4 off, so she would be coming over just to see my house. My boyfriend was sick of being in the middle, as he should. Why she just can't take no, I don't know. So she wanted me to pick up SS4 so we could chat. So I figured she would come out and chat with me first and then depending on how the conversation went, bring down SS4. So I arrive and she comes out with SS and proceeds to explain everything she is putting in the car for him to come live with us for awhile etc. So then she asks can we talk? I'm like umm okay. So we get out of the car and her first words are,

BM: so you don't want me to see your new house? and then she gave a little smirk like my boyfriend has been kidding all along and I'll invite her over for tea so I respond,

Me: "No. I don't.". That wiped the smirk off her face real quick. Of course then she asked why and I tried to explain that she has no reason to come into my house unless she thinks we let him live in a box. She then used the excuse that she just wants to see for herself and reassure herself that her son has a nice safe place etc. Which I understand, don't get me wrong. When I tried to explain that I'd feel uncomfortable with her in my home, she asked why. Why?? The whole time I'm just thinking to myself where to begin! so I tried to explain that my house is my no BM zone and she tried to say that its not a BM free zone because SS is there. At this point I'm like I don't want to have this argument here because SS is in the car still. She's like well this is the only time we can talk you don't call me, you never talk to me. No I don't talk to her because I have nothing nice to say to her!! At this point I just couldn't believe she was even saying this because she has my cell and work number on her list of emergency contacts. Not to mention we have enough friends in common that she could easily find me on facebook etc (Not that I want her too..). This was then followed by another round of why don't you like me. This is where she starts to give really good answers. When I told her I didn't appreciate the way she tries to make herself a third wheel in my life like when she kept texting my boyfriend offering to take him to the hospital for his knee surgery, her response was, "Well if he doesn't have a ride to the doctor and he messes up his knee more, he could be out of a job and then I won't get my child support and be able to support us" That was her exact response, I kid you not. Does she think that response is going to make me sympathize with her or something because its not. She then tried the I have a boyfriend excuse, which yes I know she has a boyfriend, but I wonder if he knows that she was texting my boyfriend asking him to come to a party to hang out with her just a few weeks ago. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm dumb or something. This started her again on why she can't come over and how fucked up it is that I don't want her over there. Yes she said it was "fucked up" that I didn't want my boyfriend ex, who makes my life miserable to come over my house. She then asked me why I hated her so much. (At this point I'm trying not to laugh because it seems like such a ridiculous question to ask) So I tried to explain nicely that in the beginning lots of things were said, and whether or not anything was true (which I know it was because she bashed me to one of my coworkers) I just didn't want to get involved and would prefer to just be civil. Is that too much to ask? She then went off on how she wants to be friends and start fresh (which if you read earlier blogs, you will understand that every time she says this, she then turns around and starts asking my BF to hang out etc so no I don't want to be your friend). I told her thats nice, but I don't want to be friends. She goes off on how she wants to be able to go out to eat with all of us after he wins a sports game or does something good in the future. No thanks. She last time she proposed that we all go out to eat, she invited my bf's family and her family. No thats not awkward for me at all... Meanwhile the SS is STILL in the car and I'm like I really need to go and then she throws this zinger out, "I never bad mouth you to him and I've made sure that he's liked you from day 1" This set me off because A) Your kid likes hanging out with me because I actually spend time playing with him instead of shipping him off somewhere. When he was first born, she told the people who babysat him during the day that my BF wasn't allowed to bring me by to see him. Meanwhile as she's saying this, he's calling for me to come get him not her. I didn't say anything, I just shook and nodded my head and said sorry, but I don't want you at my house and I don't want to be friends so stop harassing my boyfriend about it. She then played her cancer card. "Well maybe I'll die from my cancer and then you won't even have to deal with me". What do you even say to that? Although I enjoy imagining a world where I can take a big pencil eraser and erase her and all the other people from my life, I would never hope that someone died from cancer. And I'm sure at this point you are all sitting going oh, she has cancer, that changes everything. For me, it doesn't because the cancer hasn't changed who she is as we can see from the text messing and the fact that she still wants child support when SS is living with us. She then tells me she would never be like this and do this to anyone and thats why she lets my bf see her apartment. I was like well maybe if the roles were reversed you would feel different and she continued to argue that she wouldn't and I can see her apartment if I want. I'm like if your comfortable with having my bf up there, fine that you, but I am not comfortable with you in my house. At this point, I said I'd think about letting her see the house and I need to leave because SS4 is yes still in the car to which she tells me that her plan for tomorrow was HER AND HER MOM, oh yes you read that right, were going to come and see my house tomorrow. I said we'll see because honestly, her mom has no need to come and see my house. No need. While I have made the effort to try and see things from her point of view, she has made no effort to see things mine and that is the reason we will not be "friends". And so today we wait and see what happens in the aftermath of all this.