DH and BM have been divorced for almost 4 years. Right after the divorce, DH only got SS every other Saturday from 8am - 4pm. They (Her and DH) thought that it was best that he not have overnights until he was older and got used to them being divorced. He was 3 when they divorced. I am the only person that DH has dated since the divorce. He waited a year to introduce me to his son (4 at this time). I completely understood his logic in this as I was a single mother (BS 10 at the time) and he was the first guy that I had ever dated to meet my son. I never thought that it was a good idea to allow your children to get attached to someone that you had no idea if they were in this relationship for the long haul or for a few weeks / months. His ex didn't start dating until he introduced me to his son. Now 3 years later, she is on her 3rd man, all of which she allowed SS to get attached to. These men take SS places, do lots of things with him and after 2 weeks of dating them, she is allowing them to spend the night with them. Nobody cares how many men she has, but does she care what she is doing to her son (now 7)??? This poor kid is so confused, he cannot keep up with the guys names. For example 4 weeks ago, she was dating "Joe", 3 weeks ago, she got rid of "Joe" and started dating "Jim". Two weeks ago "Jim" is spending the night with her and SS.
This woman is one of those that "she's always right and you are always wrong". According to her, she does NOTHING wrong, is the best mother that walks the face of the earth, and everyone is beneath her. She is a school teacher and she cannot see that what she is doing is screwing up her son. DH and I have always tried to give SS a stable environment. She tries to start shit with us all the time because she cannot stand that when he is with us, we are a family. She has even told SS that our (DH and I) son is not his brother. 2 years ago, after the baby was born, she made up accusations about my oldest son to try to keep him from being around SS. She tells SS that his daddy spends more time with the baby than him, trying to get him to be jealous of the baby. What she doesn't realize is that SS loves his baby brother, he can get a little rough with him at times but he does love him. Her first ex boyfriend actually called (before they broke-up) my DH and told him that she was so jealous of what DH and I had that it was hurting their relationship.
My MIL and FIL used to try all the time to get her to allow SS to come stay with them after school or some days while he was out of school and she would tell them "no" that he had plans, yadda yadda yadda or she just would not return their phone calls. Now all of a sudden, she allows him to stay with them whenever he wants too. (She is out of school for the summer and wants her freedom I guess). This is great for SS and my in laws. I am glad she finally is allowing them to spend some time with him. Since the divorce in '06, the only time that they got to see him was when we had him.
Now, I just wish that she would be a start going by the Standard Visitation Agreement for DH. According to the agreement, he has ALTERNATE weekends (she will only allow him to have him on the 1st and 3rd weekend of the month, thus screwing DH out of 2 weekends a year). We have never had him on Easter, his B-day, Thanksgiving, or Christmas Eve. She always plans his b-day party the last weekend of the month or on his b-day, ie this year, had we had the alternate weekends as specified, we would have had him his b-day weekend, she of course planned his party on his b-day so DH could not get him. She will not let him get SS on Thanksgiving because "her" family does a big Thanksgiving Dinner and he needs to be there with her for that. And she says that DH's family does nothing so it is not that big of a deal anyway. She decided that as far as Christmas goes, she will have SS the first week of his winter break through Christmas Day at Noon. DH can get him at Noon Christmas Day through New Years Eve at 4:30. I told him that that all of this was bullshit. It doesn't matter whether or not his family does anything big or not for Thanksgiving, he needs to have him every other year. Also, that bullshit about Christmas is just wrong. Why should he have to miss out every year seeing his sons face Christmas Morning when he gets up to see what Santa brought. He was controlled and manipulatd by this bitch for so many years that is just pisses me off to no end that he allows HER to tell HIM when he can and cannot see his son. That is what the Standard Visitation Agreement is for. Just last month, DH was supposed to have SS on Memorial Day (our weekend anyway), she made plans for him Memorial Day to go out of town with her dad. Which of course she had already told SS about so he of course was excited to be going to another state and seeing the crap they had planned. So of course, DH gave in and let her have him because he didn't want SS to be upset if he missed the trip. What f'in right did she have planning something for SS on DH's weekend? She does this kind of shit ALL THE TIME. She has scheduled pictures on his weekends, she has put off registering him for ball until DH's weekend (she wouldn't do it on her weekend), she plans trips on his weekends. I have told him over and over again to grow some balls and tell her HELL F'IN NO! To reshedule her shit on her weekends. She always gives him this crap about how she has already told SS about it and if he misses it, he will be so upset. Then she gets SS to tell DH that he wants to go with mommy.
This bitch and I have never gotten along and never will, I so want to kick her ass everytime my phone rings and I see its her. If I happen to answer the phone when she calls, she always has an attitude. Why can't she see that the shit she does is hurting and effecting her son? Does she not realize that later in life, he may look back at all this and see her for the whore she is or that he ends up being a womanizer? Some women need to seriously take a step back and look at their life and consider what it is doing to their children!!