I think it's a kid. If you don't like the site perhaps you should not come back.

sm, kid, idiot?? either way, a very sad, lonely, useless, crying for attention trouble maker!

Well opinions vary don't they good mommy. what you think is outrageous and stupid, well we may think the same of your situation. If my husband and I parted ways, I don't need to be in my Step childrens life. They have a mother and father. So if you are so greatly disgusted as you say, leave and don't come back. We are not about to change our opionions, or feel bad about how we feel because you decided to join this site. So take a hike and enjoy your life as you see fit and we will enjoy ours as we see fit. Have a nice day and take care

Walk a mile in another man's shoes, as the saying goes.

normally, when a post like this is posted, the poster does not respond again, but rather starts an argument among other members. we cannot avoid these types of people coming on here. we must simply try to ignore them.

with the economy as bad as it is these days, some people just may be that bored and lonely that they feel the need to join a site and bash it. its sad, but its a fact we must all deal with.

i still hate my exsd. but, i am not a bad person, i just got cut a bad deal. and i did leave, as this poster suggested, although i did so cause my world came crashing down, it wasnt to let them live their lives.

some people just cant be compassionate.

Let's let it go. Your right "Startingover2010" let's not respond to this as it is a childish attempt to get people going. So not worth it and was not even worth the read now that I think about it..one to bigger and better posts shall we!

I don't believe this is a SM. As a matter of fact, I'm nearly positive it's a BM, and even more than that, I'm nearly positive I know exactly who it is. This person was a stepchild herself, and her stepmom was a bitter evil bitch who treated her bios much better than she treated the steps, and goodmommy is still bitter about it.

Not only that, this person thinks it's okay for ... oh I bet you can guess.

So, let me throw this out: This person isn't who or what she's claiming. Or we've just seen the world's greatest coincidence.

When people come here they are usually so fed up that things come out that aren't really how they feel or act in their life. It is like writing in a journal. Everyone knows journal entries are usually written in times of extreme stress,anger or anguish. Same thing goes for the entries done here. I think these are all good women but they are so stressed they need this release. Being critical of them isn't very bright of you goodmommy. Perhaps you could be a bettermommy if you took on a more open minded view as to what these women,including myself, are trying to accomplish here. If they didn't express their frustration here I bet many of them would be divorced or worse. Haven't you ever called a friend and complained about something in an anger filled way? That is what steptalk is to us. It is the friend we call when life gives us too many emotional beatings. It would be so refreshing if you could see that and even if you don't like it at least respect it. If you find you can't respect it either then you need not visit here again.

wow, goodmommy needs to get a life...

I understand...when I was married to my son's dad I had the most awesome stepdaughter...I love her and still talk to her. She was in my life for 7 years. There is a big BUT here though...she allowed me to be a part of her life...she loves me as I do her...she wanted me be her stepmom and didn't have a problem sharing her father...the situation I have now is very different. My BF 10 yr old daughter is not willing to share her father with anyone...especially me. She lives full time with us with very little interaction from her mother. She is extremely spoiled and self centered and does not allow me to be a part of her life other than when she needs me to do something for her if her father isn't available. She doesn't love me...I am only a thorn in her side who takes away from her time and money spent from her father. How can you fight that? It is all in the persons involved...it is personalities, willingness to open one's heart and MOST importantly how a child is brought up to think. If you were in the same situation that many of us are in...you would understand.

goodmommy is my ex. I was trying to prove to her that most people have separate birthday parties and a few other things. I sent her a link to the place and she saw all the "I hate my stepkids" threads and went ballistic. I mean ballistic. She WAS a stepkid and her SM was a horrible evil bitch who treated the bios much better than the two steps. That and she's afraid I was going to be a hateful evil SD (though nothing could be further from the truth). So anyway she spent an hour texting me about the "evil stepclub of child haters you've joined" and how "kids are innocent" and "you people are horrible" and then, shockingly, this shows up 30 minutes later.

Pretty sure it's my ex. Sorry gang. Though when she mentioned it, it did shock me how many people really just can't stand their sKids, even the young ones who haven't done much to deserve it. Oh well... walk a mile in someone's shoes I suppose. Not judging. Personally I would love to have my sKids around but you never know until you've lived someone else's life...

And by the way goodmommy, what you don't realize is that the people who are here are in the worst situations. There are millions of SPs who have great sKids who don't cause any problems and BPs who support them, and THEREFORE they don't NEED to come here.

The people who come here are dealing with asshole spouses or problem kids. You're looking at the comments of people who are at the breaking point and NEED HELP.

You've basically walked into the ER and decided that everyone on the planet is sick and dying. I'm here because my ex was a freaking lunatic who couldn't support me against her stbEx-husband. And he used the kids against us and she let it happen. If all that hadn't happened I wouldn't have been here...

Some of these people hate their stepkids because their stepkids steal, do drugs, or curse them, or the BP walks all over the SP FOR the sKid, or the sKid walks all over the SP and the BP lets them.

I can guarantee you ONE THING: Nobody who is here wants to be in a situation that FORCES them to be here. They ALL want their lives with the exes and the skids to be easy. Sadly, if they're here that means their lives aren't.

Grow up.

That makes sense I suppose.goodmommy you need therapy sweetie. That is the only way you will get over this cinderella evil sm complex you suffer from on what appears to be a daily basis. Poor thing:( I hope you get the help you need and that way you won't need to come here and drag your real life onto a sm website just to tell a good group of women your opinion on how terrible you think they are for venting on things you know nothing about.

Yeah, I agree that we SM's on here have it really tough - w/skids & BM...
My BM is a crystal meth addict & we have emergency sole custody of the swins. They (twins) are pissed b.c. they can't see their mom anytime they want & perhaps this is about child support (per BM) and not BM going psycho and having over a dozen guns in her house waiting for a home invasion.

I never thought it was going to be like this when I married BD. I liked swins fine, thought it was going to EOW. I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Shocked because I am a BM too and never thought a mother could be such scum ball parent. And when she goes to jail, same bull - I'll be the evil SM b.c. poor Bm was sick and needed help but dad couldn't pay for help, help her b.c. of SM.

Why do people that have only been registered for an hour feel the need to so completely bash us? We are all Stepmoms/Stepdads that came into these relationships with the best intentions. Things went wrong and we are frustrated. We need this place to vent. I love my SS, I tried to love my SD. It didn't work. Now we are in hell with BM and the court system. So before you come on here and berate us for needing a place to vent about our SK and BM's, try to understand what lead us here.

If you are a BM than you should be ashamed of coming here and invading a great site that for some of us, gives us some validation for the frustration and pain that we feel. Find a different site. Ivillage and Cafe Mom may be better for you.

Let's just mark this one as offensive..... and move on.

This person is obviously attempting to just stir the pot and start arguements.

Ignore them, mark as offensive and let's move on.......

By the way - Have a great week to all of my fellow steptalkers.......

Hi goodmommy,

I've spent a great deal of time thinking about what to write here.

First off, I think it's great that you love your SD so much and are still actively involved in her life. I love my SDs very much too. I wouldn't trade them for anything. However, it wasn't always so rosy.

I am guilty of hating the girls in the past. We used to have them every other weekend. Now we have them full-time.

Their behavior was atrocious. They were always rude to me, never showed any appreciation for what I did, and badmouthed me every chance they could.

I always knew that, deep down, the behavior wasn't their fault, but since they were the ones treating me this way and I was on the receiving end of their anger, I did not like them.

I was angry. I was angry about my miscarriage, angry about BM, angry about skids and angry about life. So off to therapy I went.

I had a wonderful therapist who helped me to realize just what exactly was going on with skids. They were being guilt-parented, and were being PASed by BM. They had been sexually abused while under BM's custody. They weren't properly treated medically, and were never clean. Their clothes were ratty, old rags. They were being guilt-parented by DH (looking back I can't blame him for feeling bad).

I don't think a lot of people here hate their skids. They might say they do, but the reality is that these kids are guilt-parented and not made to at least act civil towards these posters. Then, there are some who say that they don't hate their skids, but they have a lot of anger towards them, and hate the situation that is being created by guilty parenting. I think these people just hate the situation they're in and how these kids are being raised. I don't think anyone here questions that these kids have been through a lot or that divorce is tough. However, these kids aren't being taught healthy, proper ways of coping and instead are allowed to mistreat other people.

Granted, there are some bad apples in every bunch. There are some bad BMs and there are some bad SMs. There are some people who just aren't cut out to be parents or stepparents. I think that the posters here want to be good stepparents.

As far as leaving goes, that's easier said than done. A lot of the posters here own the homes their spouses and stepkids occupy. A lot of the posters here have kids with their spouses, who have children from previous relationships.

I agree that referring to a child as "baggage," "a mistake," or anything of that sort is uncalled for. People can't help being born, and it's up to their parents to raise them right.

I don't think that skids and stepparents should have to love, like or even care about each other. They should, however, act civil towards one another.

I hadn't read this post until just now. "goodmommy" had replied to my blog and made some very nasty comments about me and my first reaction was "OH this is my BM and somehow she's stumbled upon this site" LOL...

It's role, darling, not roll (sigh). I really hope you're not helping sd with homework. Thanks for the laughs, but I'll pass on any advice you have to offer.

No, she's not a stepmom. And she won't be back.

Crazy is coming to a site like this and making inflammatory comments such as yours. Just a thought.

i haven't read every one's post, but have at least one of us told "goodmommy" to go fuck herself?

if not, i'm so sorry for the delay but could goodmommy go fuck herself??? dh, skids and bm would probably appreciate it?

that was so off the cuff, but i think it's funny, too....

and i said it, sorry for making myslelf laugh, too!!