You are here

More to my thoughts

2-14-104ever's picture

Submitted by 2-14-104ever on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 12:27pm

the thing that has got me to start venting now is that my dad and step mom were going to get a divorce and it had been about 2 or 3 weekd after they went to court and she called it off... my dad went through a tuf time before she called is off because of they wulda been together 8 years n jun or july and my dads begged her to leave becuase she wouldnt treat me and my brother right... ever since i was 5 when my parents got a divorce i always said i wanted to go live with my dad but after he married again he said "no, you cant because i dont want you to be around ginger" my dad thought he was doing the "right" thing by marrying ginger becasue she was preggo. Now i am 13 and my brother is 16 and my half sister is 7 and we harldy ever see my dad and its harder on me because ive been a daddys girl my whole life and I turned 13 n march and thats the age you can go live with eaither parent you want and i still cant go live with my dad because my step moms still there and literally hates me... shes told my half sister that before... she told her that she sauid im ugly cant play sports worth a flip (I got mvp n volleyball) and im tired of hearing it but i guess if my dad is happy i have to go with it even though my dream of living with him is ruined i have to pretend to b happy

Comments

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 12:32pm

Please please find another website for kids. I viewed your blog from yesterday and I think this website is the wrong place for you. I sympathize with your situation, but you shouldn't be here.

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 12:42pm

I feel for you, I really do.. And I appologise for my earlier post to you, but this site is for adults honey, step parents that are having a hard time... Yes we do have hard times.. As for your situation, I am truly sorry.. And I do see what your going thru.. And no, your father is not doing the right thing in my opinion from what you say. Did your father cheat while married, knock up your step mom, and then leave your mom?
Besides that, you really should talk to your dad. Where is your Mom? Why don't you want to live with her? I too had to make a choice t your age, to live with who I wanted.. My step mom was horrible to me, so I understand.. But I am a step mom and I love those kids with all my heart, BECAUSE of the way I was treated, I would NEVER allow my skids to feel the way I did.. All I can say, try to be close to your dad.. Why doesn't he want you there? Because of the SM? You can PM me if you would like, again I am sorry about my other comment, I agree this isn't a good site for you in your situation, but if you would like to message me, I can try to give you some advice...

2-14-104ever's picture

Submitted by 2-14-104ever on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:13pm

ive always been a dadys girl and wanted to live in the house i grew up in... my dad doesnt want me there becuse he doesnt want me to get treated bad but my heart is broke because he hasnt wanted to change one thing about it... im giving up hope on ever living with him

CowGirl's picture

Submitted by CowGirl on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 12:49pm

The thing is honey .....

Your step mom can say & do whatever she wants -- it is your DAD that is making these choices. He is an adult & are making these decisions. I can honestly say i was in your shoes & at the exact same age. My Dad chose my step mom over his children also, BUT i chose to sit down & tell him how i felt about the situation when i was just an 8th grader (13 yrs old) -- i told my Dad that he was an a$$hole and the very next day ---- he was a changed man for the better! And today - he is my best friend!!!!!

My advise to you is to have a heart to heart with your Daddy - tell him how you feel .... and then it's up to him how he proceeds.

Good luck!!!!

2-14-104ever's picture

Submitted by 2-14-104ever on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:16pm

I have sat down with my dad and i cried my eyes out becuase he wouldnt listen all he siad i was doing was gryping him out and all i was really doing was tellinghim how i felt about it and im giving up hope on everything ever since i sat down with him and talked no one on his side of the family will talk to me because all he told them was i gryped him out

2-14-104ever's picture

Submitted by 2-14-104ever on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:22pm

Thank you, you all have made me open my eyes and realize whats importnat and they are my dads choices and if he doesnt want to have a realationship with me and my brother that his choice... this has hurt me and brohter and my bio mom my mom has tried to talk to my dad and make him realize wht he is doing and he wont listen to her... my brother doesnt have a man figure in his life and thats going to effect him alot in the future...

2-14-104ever's picture

Submitted by 2-14-104ever on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:23pm

my dads house is n the country where there is 400 acres to ride horses forwheelers and everything and im just a daddys girl

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:25pm

You can still go there for visits and do all of those things right? Just because he remarried doesn't mean that your relationship with him ends. Even if you can't live there, I'm sure he would love for you to visit and spend time with him. But be nice to his new wife!!

buttercookie's picture

Submitted by buttercookie on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 9:33pm

Like

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 5:06pm

sounds more like you're a "daddy's girl" wannabe.....

obviously, you haven't you found a site more suitable for your age.

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:27pm

The way I see it, your dad should tell that woman he is married to you, that she will not treat you that way.. I wasn't close to my dad till I was 18!! And he is now a huge part of my life and regrets missing out on so much and "being a bad father" I fought and fought with my step mom when I was odler.. They were married for about 9 years, and every year I hated her more! My father was unhappy in his marriage with her but stuck around for my step sister! And in the beginning I hated my step sister cause she was with my dad, and he paid attention to HER and not me.. It broke my heart as well.. But I realized when I was your age that my dad was miserable with his new wife.. So be it.. I lived my life, and when the time came that I was 18 and needed to live with my dad for a while, my step mom said I couldn't live there (mind u my dad hated her n was only there for her kid, till she was older) WELL I moved in, and me and step mom fought bad! Cops called and I had to leave.. So, my advice, skip the drama of living with your dad and step mom, and when your dad realizes that your stepmom is not being good to you, he will see that he was wrong and he let you down and missed out on your life... My dad did, and now he is always sure he is in it, and I love him with all my heart... And my stepmom is out of the pic, and WOW, so is her daughter! They were users, and if ur SM was married multiple times, I'm sure she is too, but your dad loves her and is currently blind to that. So please save yourself the heartache, where is your mom?

Gia's picture

Submitted by Gia on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:33pm

LMAO

2-14-104ever's picture

Submitted by 2-14-104ever on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 2:00pm

haha, ur exactually right.... both my parents have made mistakes and come fwd with them to me and my brother my mom was a shitty mom until now and well my dad has and prolly always will b a shitty dad

2-14-104ever's picture

Submitted by 2-14-104ever on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:35pm

I just have all the memories of when i was little and wuld do that kinda stuff and i want to b able to do it again...

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:35pm

Wow, I can't believe what I'm reading!

"The way I see it, your dad should tell that woman he is married to you..."

What on earth ... I'm speechless! You sound just like my SD21 in her letter. Wow, I'm completely flabbergasted! I'm completely determined now to not allow this to happen to my marriage.

2-14-104ever's picture

Submitted by 2-14-104ever on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:37pm

i sorry if i affened yall n any way im just trying to make sure other kids dont feel this way

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:41pm

I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not offended. However, do NOT try to make your father believe that he's 'married' to you. You will always be his daughter, regardless. That will never, ever change. Just try to be nice and get along with his new wife. If she chooses to not be nice back to you, then there's nothing you can do about that. But hopefully then your father will see who is being mean and who is being nice. If their marriage fails, then it wasn't meant to be, but at least it won't be your fault. It will be of his and his new wife's doing.

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:44pm

Stepoff!! Who said "The way I see it your dad should tell that woman he is married to you"??? I'm confused here?! I don't believe this girl should be on THIS site, I tried givin her advice in hopes she would listen to us all in saying "this site isn't for her" What's going on? Lol

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:49pm

Your own words from above, cut and pasted. Also, see my previous blog from last week. Says it all... I'm just shocked.

2-14-104ever's picture

Submitted by 2-14-104ever on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 1:54pm

one of my friends gave me a guys number and he gave him mine because he thought that we would make a good couple so, i text and we talked like non stop for a week and then we finally met which just happen to be on valentines day he decided he really really liked me and so he asked me out and weve almsot been together for 4 months and I hate to say this this young but i can see me wiht him for a long long itme

dguiwh2334's picture

Submitted by dguiwh2334 on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 2:08pm

NEMO n STEPOFF!!! Correction is needed!!! LOL! I am at work trying to type all these posts from my phone.. My thoughts were coming sooner then I was typing and made an error!!! That's sentence was supposed to read: "The way I see it, your dad should TELL THAT WOMAN THAT HE IS MARRIED TO (HIS WIFE) THAT SHE WILL NOT TREAT YOU THAT WAY!" Meaning, I think that her father should be standing up for his daughter.. OH geez ladies, I'm not that dumb LOL, sorry Smile typing error over here!!!

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 2:09pm

I guess I am curious as to why your step mother doesn't like you & how you have interacted with her. If my stepsons refered to me as a hoe, I would treat them with the same " respect " back. I am also curious how your parents feel about you dating at 13.Mystepson is soon to be 13, very mature & goodlooking & he is involved with sports & school & not hooking up & going out with girls.

I hate to say this but more often then not the parenting in life falls on us women whether we have given birth to the kids or not. I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, buying the clothes for my skids & pretty much making sure their needs are met, NOT their dad. If anyone would be decideding to move into our home that would be a decison that the parents of that house would make not children.

What about your mom, wouldn't she feel bad that you moved out just because dad's house seemed more fun & had more toys?

s_cherry's picture

Submitted by s_cherry on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 2:15pm

A 13 year old in relationship? Wow wannabe grown up.... Where is this world going for Gods sake

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 2:20pm

You must find another place. I am extremely angry that anyone here is giving advice to a 13yr old...

I don't agree w/anything posted except find another site. Even "so called" sympathy is NOT helping this girl. Please be adults and refuse to give advice to someone's child you don't even know! How would you like it if adults you didn't even know gave advice to your kid? Please, please let her go elsewhere for advice...this is not appropriate!

I wrote admin and they have done nothing...I am apalled by the lack of common sense to ignore the posts and remove her from a potentially damaging perspective being given out.

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 2:43pm

I agree that people in step families need help. Having a 13-year old step-daughter myself, I can absolutely understand where I could benefit from her feelings & thoughts, however, putting my benefit aside & putting myself on the other side, I would not want my 13-year old SD searching for advice from strangers on a site specifically intended for adult use. There are more appropriate places for her to vent.

Abalyn's picture

Submitted by Abalyn on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 2:45pm

I'm not concerned about people reading her blogs, I'm concerned about her reading ours. A 13 year old cannot possibly have the maturity and/or life experience to understand a SP dynamic. What she reads here will likely be quite damaging to her. It's emotionally unhealthy for children to deal with adult issues and it's wrong to offer advice without the training and knowledge that a professional has.

If you want the perspective of a child of divorce ask the gobs of adults on this site that were in blended families what their childhood was like. Don't put it off on a THIRTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD.

She needs to find a site suited to a teen child of divorce. Where she can get help and not have to read the venom that we pour out here every day. You want the perspective of a 13 year old? Imagine yourself to be 13 and struggling with a SP. Then just randomly pick a couple of blogs and read. What do you think that will do to a child's psyche?

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 4:01pm

It might be a free country, but it's obvious this is not about freedom but potentially harming a child! And I will not accept freedom of speech as an excuse for people to get their kicks out of feeling important wanna be psychologists when it can be detrimental to a child that is not your own...

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 2:34pm

I agree that there is a more suitable place for you to be posting. This is a site specifically for stepparents. That is why you find the anger & frustration...venting...that has you so upset. Even you are here venting things that you would probably never intend for your dad or step-mom to read. It's a place for stepparents to vent about things they wouldn't intend for their step-children to hear, but they are real feelings that need to be expressed. This is an appropriate place for stepparents to express those feelings. Often times, things are said in anger & frustration, & are NOT always what people truly feel...just things vented in the heat of the moment. As adults, we understand that. As a 13-year old, you seem to have taken personal offense to things said by people who don't even know you...by people in situations VERY different from your own.

I think this is the wrong place to be searching for advice. I truly believe you would benefit better through a site geared toward step-children.

violetforest's picture

Submitted by violetforest on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 2:35pm

Make sure that you are taking things up with the person that you believe have said things about you and that you are not making assumptions. I as a mother and stepmother have had very cruel things told to other. Things that I would not ever had thought to say to an adult much less a child. Speak to your parents including your step mother, be respectful and don't jump to conclusions. You are not going to like it but as many others have written you are a child. You sound very mature and should be able to handle communicating with your parents. You may learn a lot about how they feel about things and you are just now beginning to be old enough to understand that not everything is how it looks. Give those around you the opportunity to have positive relationships. School personel, teachers, church officials and even other relatives are good sources of support who can help you to clear up some of the relationships in your life. Good luck with finding a site for teens.